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Need Advice

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by The Consigliere, May 20, 2017.

  1. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    Hey, guys. This is a great forum and I have received some help and tips as well as help others. But this is something that I want to talk about with you all and see if you can help me out here as it's a big issue and it's a big nail in the road in the journey of life. So let's start.

    In two weeks I graduate from high school. And that surely is a big life accomplishment as my time in school surely was not the best. But in the past few months, I've been taking the time to really evaluate myself. And the number one issue I found with myself is that I don't finish what I start. Today was my prom. I didn't go because I didn't finish what I started. I had everything lined up that I needed. Money to get the ticket and my grandparents ready to go shopping with me so I have something to wear to prom. But I started the process but never got the gears rolling and lining everything up.

    This is bad. I start something, but can't finish it. For example, the start of my last semester in January started really strong. I was doing my work every night and getting the work turned in the next day. But I fell off the wagon and barely got my life together before heading off to senior project the beginning of this month. I have another example. NoFap. I start off well, but then I just fall off. Because I don't finish what I start.

    Even when I start a show or a book. I start off well, but then I just don't finish it. This is holding me back. I try. I really do, but shit just starts to hit the fan and I'm back where I started.

    I really want to do better guys and I'm not sure where to start. People tell me there are great things to come in the future and I believe that as well. But how can I get to where I want to be if I can't finish what I started?

    I don't know if any of you are going through this, but if any of you are or know someone who is in the same situation as me I would really appreciate the help. This is the bane of my existence and it's time to banish it.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2017
  2. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman

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    As a person in my 30s, I still struggle with this sometimes. It comes into organizing and planning your time. Lookup have to make short and long term goals. Review those weekly. Things like reading a book, schedule it into your day. Some people like scheduling their day with a smartphone, some use a paper method, like the popular "bullet journal." I have started using a combination of both, and I have found my productivity has increased.

    You can also get some time tracking apps (such as Time Lines for iOS). Apps like that will let you log your day, and you can figure out where you are using your time. I discovered I was spending 30 minutes or more, sitting on the toilet checking FB. Now I don't.
     
  3. Being productive is the key to living life to the fullest. Think of it like this. If you don’t complete something then basically you are just wasting your time, wasting your life and there will be gaps in your knowledge. Right now this might not seem like a big deal but just wait until you get much older there is nothing worst than looking back at your past and saying to yourself I wish I did something back then. You now have a life of regrets and that is soul destroying.

    All of those girls you could have dated, the jobs you could have had, friends, house, car, family etc... you get the picture. You will never ever forgive yourself for the opportunities you waste so don't let it happen!

    What you need is a Getting Things Done (GTD) mentality. Check it out here http://gettingthingsdone.com/

    I use this app its IOS only but there are android alternatives https://www.omnigroup.com/omnifocus
     
  4. Bearish

    Bearish Fapstronaut

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    I am not a planner, either. I gave up on trying to organize my life decades ago. I do finish things...that I want to finish. And then, "finish" may mean different things at different times with different people in different contexts.

    So....

    Advice 1: Cut yourself some slack. Your cerebrum won't be fully connected to the rest of your brain for another six to ten years, and so your psychic loops are still forming. You're free-floating and creative. That's a gift, too. Just not the same one as being "organized."

    Advice 2: Focus your attention on what you really love, and allow your interests guide your effort. Because of Advice 1 above, you're not going to figure out a career for a while yet--certainly not until after college--so focus now on learning as much as you can about what you love most. Life will fall into place along that path. Expect your life to lead you. It will. (That doesn't work for everyone, but it certainly did for me, and I suspect that it will for you, too.)

    Advice 3: Help people get stuff started. If you're good at getting stuff started, figure out who the "finishers" are who lament that they just can't seem to begin. You'll be a god to them.

    You're a bright young thing. All will be well. Focus on staying out of PMO. That's what we're here for, and that's plenty for the moment.
     
    Gamekeeper89 likes this.
  5. Txqjacki

    Txqjacki Fapstronaut

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    Sounds a bit like me. Recently i havent been able to start anything. I have an assignment in 7 days, i gotta write atleast 10 pages, and i havent even started. I just cant pull myself together and start. I think my issue lies in P and M addiction. It hasnt always been like this for me. So im hoping it will get better as i progress with NoFap.

    But as mentioned before, try to just focus on 1 thing, and finish that one thing. If you are juggling too many balls around in the air, you'll eventually drop all of them. Maybe thats whats happening for you. Also try focusing on NoFap. It really changes you when you beat such an addiction. Also try meditation just for 5-10 minutes a day. It really relieves the mind, and might open you up to finish what you start.
     
  6. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much guys. This advice is really helpful. I'm gonna try and focus on what I really enjoy doing and what I really want to do and go from there.
    It's something I really wanted to do, but like I said I don't finish what I start. And it's no one's fault except mine that I didn't go. That is past me now.
    Thank you. I'm going to try this. From the big things to the little things.
    Thank you for suggesting that website and app. I don't have a phone right now, so I think I will take a shot at the website.
    I think that's true. Eventually all this stuff I have going on I'm going to have to drop eventually. I really like that idea you have there. I'm going to try and hopefully work out something. I do have a lot of things going on and I'm just afraid of dropping one of them if you know what I mean.
    Thank you. Really. I do plan on focusing on what I love and that will be pursuing my passion in technology by working in the IT field. And I plan on taking that as high as possible. And I really like how you mentioned to help others get things started. I honestly never thought of it that way. Really interesting point.
    That is right. And NoFap is something that I feel should be my primary focus. I've been on and off it for so long. I know how it has affected people and I am sure it would greatly help me as it helped many others. For meditation I have been meaning to try that for awhile now. I don't see any reason not to give it a shot now. Thank you for that suggestion.
     
  7. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    A lot of people don't even START anything. I think everyone is a little bit like you so there's nothing to worry about yet, I'm sure that when you DO finish something you feel/will feel great and it's usually the drive to feel proud of your work that makes you keep going.

    Start small with goals that are achieveable in the short-term, once you manage to successfully finish a thing or two you'll want to keep going and you'll aim higher every time. Even small "insignificant" things can help motivate you to finish other more important things, like others have said you also need to be passionate about whatever it is you're trying to do. If you're close to finishing a book or a project for example but you don't feel capable of doing it, go ahead and do it anyway, even if you don't like the results you can probably perfect them later.
     
    The Consigliere likes this.
  8. Andre2807

    Andre2807 Fapstronaut

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    I have ADHD and I'm a well-versed starter.

    I suggest making a list of the 5 - 6 most important things in your life. Everyone's list will be different.

    Start and finish/continue in the things that falls into these important categories. The reason this works, is because we naturally love doing things and spend time with the most important people in our lives.

    Everything else that is not as important comes second.

    My six things are: God, wife, friends + family, hobbies, healthy living and mental development. I schedule these six in my calendar. Everything else comes second.
     
  9. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    I have put together a list of things I need to get done in the short term and long term. Right now I am knocking out one of my short term things I need to finish.
     

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