NEED ADVICE/HELP 20 year old

buz123 · Apr 11, 2019

hey guys,

so i’m new to all this. i’m on day 20 of hardmode, and i started because i tried having intercourse with my new gf (first one) and couldn’t keep a hard on. it freaked me out thinking it was my first time and how i couldn’t keep it up. we tried again a week later and i got soft right when i put it in, i blamed it on the condoms and she was really cool about it. so the day after i started hardmode. i pmo’d everyday since the age of 15/16 and since i’ve quit i haven’t really thought about it and i could care less about porn (i thank my girlfriend for this). yesterday we were making out and cuddling and i was getting really hard erections, ones that i never got before and it made me feel so much better. it didn’t escalate to sex so i couldn’t have tested it but it felt so ready. she left back to school and will be back in two weeks and i believe we’ll attempt to do it and i’m just nervous it’ll happen again. i don’t wake up with erections but even her curling with me gets me really hard now. any advice would be really appreciated.

thank you!

Jerry120 · Apr 11, 2019

buz123 said: ↑

hey guys,

so i’m new to all this. i’m on day 20 of hardmode, and i started because i tried having intercourse with my new gf (first one) and couldn’t keep a hard on. it freaked me out thinking it was my first time and how i couldn’t keep it up. we tried again a week later and i got soft right when i put it in, i blamed it on the condoms and she was really cool about it. so the day after i started hardmode. i pmo’d everyday since the age of 15/16 and since i’ve quit i haven’t really thought about it and i could care less about porn (i thank my girlfriend for this). yesterday we were making out and cuddling and i was getting really hard erections, ones that i never got before and it made me feel so much better. it didn’t escalate to sex so i couldn’t have tested it but it felt so ready. she left back to school and will be back in two weeks and i believe we’ll attempt to do it and i’m just nervous it’ll happen again. i don’t wake up with erections but even her curling with me gets me really hard now. any advice would be really appreciated.

thank you!
Click to expand...

Welcome to the forum! Thank you for sharing your story.

PIED got me into NoFap. This is a serious issue but can be resolved with patience. Morning wood is one of the key indicators of a returning libido but takes time to reemerge. I would say my morning wood returned after 60-70 days. You know when that happens you're in a great spot. Until then things can be touch and go. All the same, the fact that you're reporting erections in her presence is a good one. You maybe able to do well but YMMV. It all depends on your individual situation. Have you considered letting your girlfriend know?

Jerry120 · Apr 11, 2019

go4aRUN said: ↑

I have been there as well, but luckily was able to resolve the problem pretty quickly. (Patient GF helped a lot!)

My two cents worth:

Try to disassociate pleasure from PM and associate it stronger with your GF. Sounds like you are on the way there already.

And, easier said than done, especially when you are 20 and with your first GF, but..... You need to relax! It's the anxiety about it happening again that your biggest enemy. Try to get on top of it. The more time you spend with your GF, the less of a problem this will be.

Hopefully, that will be the end of that, but there is a risk that DE (due to reduced sensitivity) will be the next wall you'll hit. Sensitivity returns when you refrain from PM. Just keep going with NoFap, you will be fine!

Peace.
Click to expand...

Great advice. Thanks for sharing!

bfdet · Apr 11, 2019

Hi ' 123

Relax. You are going to be fine. It may take some time to undo some of the things that PMO has distorted, but you CAN and WILL get there. While you are apart from your gf, consider doing the time as "hard mode" - (check the glossary for definitions). The forced isolation gives you an opportunity to re-train your body and your mind by eliminating PMO. Your body and mind has learned to expect a certain type and level of stimulation by PMO that really isn't the same as happens when with your gf. Your body and mind need to relearn what appropriate arousal and stimulation are. Your experiences so far suggest that your body and mind is already starting that learning process. That's great. Keep going and you'll be fine.

One day at a time is how we all succeed.

buz123 · Apr 11, 2019

Jerry120 said: ↑

Welcome to the forum! Thank you for sharing your story.

PIED got me into NoFap. This is a serious issue but can be resolved with patience. Morning wood is one of the key indicators of a returning libido but takes time to reemerge. I would say my morning wood returned after 60-70 days. You know when that happens you're in a great spot. Until then things can be touch and go. All the same, the fact that you're reporting erections in her presence is a good one. You maybe able to do well but YMMV. It all depends on your individual situation. Have you considered letting your girlfriend know?
Click to expand...

thank you for the advise,

go4aRUN said: ↑

I have been there as well, but luckily was able to resolve the problem pretty quickly. (Patient GF helped a lot!)

My two cents worth:

Try to disassociate pleasure from PM and associate it stronger with your GF. Sounds like you are on the way there already.

And, easier said than done, especially when you are 20 and with your first GF, but..... You need to relax! It's the anxiety about it happening again that your biggest enemy. Try to get on top of it. The more time you spend with your GF, the less of a problem this will be.

Hopefully, that will be the end of that, but there is a risk that DE (due to reduced sensitivity) will be the next wall you'll hit. Sensitivity returns when you refrain from PM. Just keep going with NoFap, you will be fine!

Peace.
Click to expand...

thanks for this, i think i needed this advise from someone who went through this as well. i plan on quitting porn and fapping in general since i have a girl now and i don’t see the point of it. if you don’t mind me asking how long did it take for you to be able to have sex again? i feel like i’m probably able to at the moment (but it won’t be my full potential yet).

buz123 · Apr 11, 2019

bfdet said: ↑

Hi ' 123

Relax. You are going to be fine. It may take some time to undo some of the things that PMO has distorted, but you CAN and WILL get there. While you are apart from your gf, consider doing the time as "hard mode" - (check the glossary for definitions). The forced isolation gives you an opportunity to re-train your body and your mind by eliminating PMO. Your body and mind has learned to expect a certain type and level of stimulation by PMO that really isn't the same as happens when with your gf. Your body and mind need to relearn what appropriate arousal and stimulation are. Your experiences so far suggest that your body and mind is already starting that learning process. That's great. Keep going and you'll be fine.

One day at a time is how we all succeed.
Click to expand...

this was great and gives me much hope, thank you!

Log in

NEED ADVICE/HELP 20 year old

buz123 Fapstronaut

Jerry120 Fapstronaut

Jerry120 Fapstronaut

bfdet Fapstronaut

buz123 Fapstronaut

buz123 Fapstronaut

Share This Page