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NEED ADVICE (From those who live with winter weather)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Feb 22, 2019.

  1. Okay this may seem a bit odd for a title I know but I am just curious. For those of you who are probably use to days like today cold, rainy, snowy at times (Yes, I live in a desert this doesn't happen much here LOL). What the hell do you guys do to keep yourself from relapsing. Like I praise those who are able to be stuck inside all day in bad weather and not want to watch porn. I mean for real like I was sitting infront of my laptop trying to keep myself busy but those pesky temptations kept coming at me. Please give me some advice on things to do. I mean I cant really do much.
     
  2. Usually when the weather is bad, I spend a little extra time in the gym. I may treat myself to a little shopping spree. Or if the weather is too bad to venture out, I do some chores around the house, pick up my guitar, or watch some Netflix.
     
    Nugget9 and WildThing like this.
  3. oretna

    oretna Fapstronaut

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    Even when the weather is bad you can get out. Just a matter of clothing and adaptation. At least here (Finland), where we don't get tsunamis, tornados (well we do but they are mostly tiny), earthquakes nor vulcanoes.
     
    @Ank07 likes this.
  4. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I just stay inside and don't PMO. Quitting porn has nothing to do with location bro, it's all in your head. The sooner you realize the better.
     
    Nugget9, recon117 and 4DCreator like this.
  5. oretna

    oretna Fapstronaut

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    Oh you make it sound so easy! If it was that easy for others as well, maybe this forum would not be needed at all. Could you consider sharing some of your skill?
     
  6. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Agreed. Anything up to a blizzard (heavy or light rain, light snowfall) shouldn't stop you from going out. As long as you're dressed alright, you can go out and you'll be fine.
     
  7. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    It is easy. Sorry to break your bubble, but it's supposed to be easy. A famous chinese fellow on this forum wrote something in a post that brought me onto the right path. I paraphrase:
    When you're not sure if you can let go of PMO, quitting is like trying to punch through a stone wall. But when you become of one mind it is like punching through paper.

    The key here is understanding yourself and your addiction. Running away will never help. Do a lot of self-reflection with pure honesty on why you want porn, what it means to you, why you don't really want to let go and why you relapse, which is you playing a game with yourself. In the game you pretend that your urges are too strong and you can't help yourself and you willfully ignore your free will.
    The problem isn't the strength of your urges. It's that you don't know what you want. You want two things, you want to quit but you also don't want to quit. Decide and things will become very easy.
     
    recon117 likes this.
  8. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I read your post and think it is valuable. But this statement makes me upset. Quitting an addiction isn't easy. Saying that it is, is a punch in the face of every recovering addict.
     
  9. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't able and still unable to live without porn and masturbation BY MY OWN STRENGHTS (meaning doing it without a support from the outside).

    Like majority of addicts (AA, SA) as long as they want to quit alone, it was usually unsuccessful. Two people that founded Alcoholics Anonymous were trying to stop drinking alone individually for years and could not. Once they started to meet together their addiction stopped. Then formed groups, etc.

    So this forum helps a lot, having an accountability partner too. What else, in my case as a Christian: prayer to God and reading a Bible are also crucial.

    Additionally what has helped me was/is reading literature about sexual addiction, remembering long term consequences (some of them are: low self esteem, remorses, fear, social anxiety).

    Where I live we have winters, and cold, rainy, snowy days.
     
  10. i use the cold to my advantage, during winter i slept in a tent in my backyard, its hard to relapse when your cold you have no sex drive, also it builds discipline and boosts the immune system.
     
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  11. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    That’s exactly what everyone needs to decide for themselves, what is most important to them. Is it gong to be porn or living without it. I am four months in and even I still have the itch still to want to look at porn. I know if I do I will relapse however and the PAWS comes back. It takes time and reflection on putting this behavior behind all of us.
     
  12. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Going to do more exercise, reading or trying to meet family or friends...It’s difficult in the Midwest here with the crazy cold but it does get hard. I wish I was somewhere mild I could them pick up my golf clubs and be in nature. Thinking about how nice it will be in another two months...
     
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  13. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I can understand that. But it's still the truth and I'm not saying that to brag (what for, I don't know any of you people irl). I'm saying it's easy because it's a crucial hint to the right path. The biggest hardship from quitting stems from having mental battles everyday. And if you have to battle yourself you haven't decided yet. It's actually a problem of value attribution. How much value should porn have to you? That's not solved through waiting but through contemplation and honesty. Your lust can't be your enemy you need to fight, instead it needs to be in line with who you want to be.
     
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  14. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    45 days soon of being stuck in one little room with a laptop and mobile phone with no blockers, with strong feet fetish and another fetish. Being stuck here at least 10 hours a day alone struggling with loneliness. There is so much I would like to watch but as it was said. It is in your head and what motivates you and so on.
     
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  15. White Sheep

    White Sheep Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm but..., well, i am not good with opinions, but I would say this can be applied to other and trivial stuff, but not for an adiction. Because in my case I know what I want to, but this addiction blurred my mind from goal, and that is the fight all of us have on here. If that were too easy as say it, nobody would be fighting so hard and even would not exist a forum for PMO if this was easy. If everything was too easy to quit even the word addiction would not exist...
     
  16. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I strongly disagree with this statement. You seem to underestimate the power of brain chemistry. It is always a struggle. A clear decision - like you call it - helps you win the struggle, but it doesn't make it disappear. I find it dangerous to claim otherwise.
     
  17. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    You underestimate the power of your subconscious mind. Have you read Jung or have you any education in psychology? The human psyche is layered, your lust, your anger and many other primary states of being act like separate entities. Each of them have their own belief system and goals. The likelyhood that you are a 100% aware of what each of them wants, your lust in particular, is zero.
    It is perfectly normal for a human being to want two opposing things at the same time. Like staying in bed and getting up to get to work. The role of you is to weight what each side of you has to offer and make a choice about who's going to get their way.
    The point however is if you don't synchronize the goals of each part properly, bringing them all into one hat so to speak, will result in you battling yourself. Everyday your choice, in this case to quit, is questioned again and again because it conflicts with the belief system of your lust.

    Changing that is a matter of understanding and self-reflection. Not a matter of waiting out on your neurobiology.

    I've tried to quit for two years and my longest streak used to be 17 days, everyday was a struggle. Now I'm on my longest streak and it's easy. Do think that was a matter of luck? Or me waiting for my brain to recover? I was still PMO'ing in January. The thing that changed wasn't my brain chemistry it was the way I started to understand what I want and how to change it.
     
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  18. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    It turns into nothing but a whisper in the background instead of a growling monster yelling into your face. It makes one heck of a difference.
    Brain chemistry is nothing but an excuse dude. It is a tool for you to alleviate yourself from your responsibility of having free will. I did it too. The more you lie to and play games with yourself, the more it seems like a struggle, believe me.
    Relapses are a result of lies we tell ourselves. The first lie is that we are convinced of quitting and the second that the lust was too strong in the moment of the relapse. Nothing can force your hand but you. Fucking understand what that means and you hold the key to freedom.
     
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  19. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I disagree again.

    What you describe is in fact very much true. But that still doesn't make the effects of chemistry go away. You can control your thoughts and feelings to a (high) degree during recovery. That makes you stay on track and if you're very well equipped, recovery turns "easy" as you said. But when the brain starts shifting and changing, your brain chemistry is all over the place for a certain amount of time. This will make it hard, no matter how much you decided for yourself.

    Mix water & salt. It will disolve no matter how much you want it to stay pure.
     
  20. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    From Canada here

    Cold showers do wonders.

    Cheers
     
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