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My way through sissy hell and 50 days of freedom

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Foxhole, May 10, 2018.

  1. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Where I am now
    Hi guys! Thank you for all your support. I wasn't here on NoFap for some time, but i feel it's time to get back and focus on my recovery more. I started this threat a year ago and lot of stuff changed since then.
    So what happened since I posted this threat? I made a nice 270 day streak but i relapsed few times later. So I decided to get back to start and share my progress here.
    I am happy to say that even if i relapsed i never get back to sissy stuff. And its a great victory for me. This fetish is still appealing for me, but it was so dark and shitty part of my life I avoid it since i first decided to quit.
    Many changes happened in my life - i got married, I made a huge progress at my work and generally I am more happy person.
    Thats in short the story of my year.
    And now I am here decided to go clean and get rid off all the shit that still bothers me and be even happier and cleaner man. Wish me luck guys. Thanks
     
  2. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    I understand you perfectly, boys.
    I had the same fetish, but for women's shoes, I masturbated there, seeing the photos of the girls nearby.
    I had gotten to the point where I looked at my feet and heels more than my ass and tits.
    the road is long, but we'll make it.
     
    Foxhole likes this.
  3. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Hi guys. I decided to write down a list of "Banned activities" to keep myself from temptation and bad behavior. Because sometimes i do not technically M or watch P, but i still try to "cheat" on myself. Well so stay away from it i write down this list. It's designed for me, but you can inspire from it. Hide it as a spoiler as it may be triggering for somebody.

    • ejaculate without partner - obviously
    • watch pornographic material - no matter if video, audio, image or text
    • search for erotic, or lustful material - eg women in underwear, swimsuit etc.
    • search for fetish material - furry, femdom, sissy, cuckold, chastity, bdsm and etc.
    • insert any objects, fluids or gases in any body holes - excluding breathing, eating or necessary hygiene / medical procedures
    • put anything on/around private parts
    • bound yourself in any unnecesarry manner
    • wear any women clothes
    • buy women clothes (with exception of buying it for my partner)
    • having a physical or romantic relationship with anyone but my partner
    • erotic roleplay with anyone but my partner
    • any sexual behaviour towards animals, flowers or inanimate objects
    • any hypno material
    • any sexual or drug related binaural material
    • forcing private parts in any unnatural positions
    • inserting private parts anywhere
    • unnecesary manipulation with sperm, urine or any other body fluid
    • touching private parts with exclusion of making love with partner, pee, or wash (or if stuck in zipper :D)
    • placing foreign objects into underwear
    • searching or shopping for sex toys
    • click through or even scroll through fake friend requests with erotic / dating content
    • kegel excersises
    • searching for masturbation or HFO how to's
    • rapid pelvis motions or swinging
    • searching this list for holes and omissions
    • rubing "it" by thighs
    • direct or indirect prostate stimulation

    All forementioned activities will be considered as relapse and i will reset my counter and pay penalty of €50.
    I will refresh this list anytime i find myself participate in any unspecified but arousing activity.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Steven_TheOneAndOnly

    Steven_TheOneAndOnly Fapstronaut

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    Oh my god, I never discovered Sissy as I'm French and I'm glad I never found out. It seems so crazy this story of hypnosis, it's really darkness. Keep fighting, brothers.
     
  5. "It is upto the woman to court and pursue the man"
    True words man.Do men respect you more on Nofap?
     
  6. Steven_TheOneAndOnly

    Steven_TheOneAndOnly Fapstronaut

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    No, I have always been respected as a man, long before Nofap. Besides, I just listen to some hypno sissy hypno on youtube, and let me tell you that it has no effect on me. I am too masculine to be bewitched by this shit. I can not believe that so many men have been fooled. I screamed with rage when I discovered this kind of videos. Women are really demons. It's amazing, how they try to femenise us. A rage is invading me right now.
     
  7. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Okay. I am back and I am not doing well. I relapsed like five time this year. So i decided to start this journal again. I maybe won't write long posts here, but i'll try to post something every day to stay accountable. Starting from now, which is

    Day 2
    I had quite bussy but successful day. My wife cried at morning so i comforted her and i think i did pretty well. Then i left for work, had an important phone call with my mom (family issues i struggle for a really long time - we sat up a meeting for tomorrow), wrote an article for blog (work related) and did almost everything on my todo-list.

    I was quite busy, so it was really easy to stay away from PMO.

    Good day.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    If anyone needs help with this addiction there's a thread in my profile for curing masochism.
     
  9. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 3

    Today was a quite busy date. I had good time with my wife at morning, and then i drove throught the town to police station to pay penalty for parking (i wasted more time than money).
    I didn't do a lot of work today, but its still under control, so no bad feelings about it. I am going to solve some family troubles today, so i am little nervous about it, but its about the time to fix my life for good.
     
  10. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 7

    OK, my counter says it's day 7 (i had longer weekend, so i wasn't here for last few days). And i can say, it was really good and clean 7 days.

    Right now i struggle with much bigger stuff than PA - but when i failed and feel bad, PMO is the first thing that pop up in my mind.
    What I really struggle with is relationship with my family. They still treat me as a little boy, although i am 30+, married, living on my own. They insist that me (and my wife) should visit them for every posible ocassion and if we don't they can be really passive aggressive.

    But even if we do as they please it's not really easy. My stepfather can be really grumpy and edgy and he often vent his anger on me (no matter if he has a reason or not). Other family members just act like nothing's happen, because they don't want to "ruin the mood" or sth. For me it's very uneasy to oppose, because I live in this environment since i was little kid and when something like this happen my brain just bring me back to time when i was a little 8 yo boy.

    So i try to talk to my folks about it last few months, which is not easy for me and they are not really helpfull with that. They just believe that's just the way things are, they can't change and i have to accept it. But I accepted it my whole life and i am really tired of this.

    I had talk with my mom at friday, I told her what had in mind, but I really don't feel it really change anything. And honestly it was very exhausting and i am not sure if i'll be able to something like this again.

    Sorry for long, not P-related (but i guess everything is connected, so in the end it probably is connected) post. Thanks for reading.

    Yeah and today was a good day :)
     
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  11. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 9

    This week is pretty hectic. I have a lot of job, I miss the deadlines which increase my urges. I even missed yesterday's report. On the other hand i have no time to fap if I am still busy. Anyway i guess it's not a sustainable way to handle life.

    Have a great day, guys.
     
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  12. omerico2121

    omerico2121 Fapstronaut

    Homosexuality is a natural sexual tendency, that was even existent in old days. My brother and I discovered porn by the same age - I, a straight guy, was hooked up in a moment and my brother, which is a homosexual guy, claim that he found no intrest in porn, this since he only knew about porn with females back then. So I suggest you to make more educational research on the subject. I don't claim that you or any other guy who got into this stuff is gay (that is for you to decide...), I'm just saying that this (and gender dysphoria) are actually very natural. That being said, I also believe that porn can bring a straight guy into those tendencies.

    Very inspiring! You just did a short version of the 1st step of the 12 steps program! In this stage you describe your entire sexual hostory ephathising all the sick and insane details. The purpose of this step is for you to realize how bad your addiction is, and that you don't want this anymore. Even though my main addiction is for porn, there were times that I found myself doing some crazy shit, that exactly is a behviour of an addict.
    I'd like you to listen to a song, of a band that I like so much, about our addction:

    The main phrase that really catch me is "We've all been more than eager to sin and it feels allright, 'til we pay the price". Very relatable song, in my opinion.

    All the best!
     
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  13. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Short version of the 1st step - it seems i have a long long way to go :D

    Very good song, thanks for sharing it.

    All the best for you too!
     
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  14. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 13

    Just quick report. I had i crisis at friday, but i handled it quite well. I am still pretty overwhelmed by work as at every month break. So it was the same for today, but today I felt quite alright.

    So thats it. I am still going, I'll try to find some more time to write about something deeper and more important.

    Do well guys, love you all.
     
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  15. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 27

    Last week a was at holiday so i didn't post here. I felt really well, no major urges.
    Now I am back to work and I am super busy. I have a lot of work, which often leads to anxiety and urges. But now I just work through it and really have no time for PMO or even thinking about it.
     
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  16. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 29

    Another busy day. I've seen my therapist and have A LOT of calls. Finally i started to catch up with my work schedule after vacation and organize my stuff. Not everything is done, but i made progress. I struggled with minor urge at morning, but i handled it.
    I have an accountability partner from here, whom i try to help and it's hard job. But it helps me to keep myself clean and useful.

    Thanks for reading guys!
     
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  17. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 34

    Today I felt sick so i decided to work from home. Which is always kinda tricky. Plus on morning walk a saw a girl, that triggered some of my kinks (not going to be specific to not trigger others). Anyway I wrote my AP and my friend (i mean two people here, but i also consider my AP my friend, don't worry bro ;) ) and I am good now.

    But anytime i go through something troublesome i tend to procrastinate (which cause urges). And so anytime i go to bathroom, or take a shower or anytime I have to touch myself.

    So although i fight this really hard, my brain is still wired to these shit.
     
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  18. cdp5089

    cdp5089 Fapstronaut

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    I'm fighting in the trenches right along side you brother. Stay strong :emoji_muscle:
     
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  19. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your support, brother! Really appreciate it.
     
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  20. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Day 38

    New office and new challenges ahead. I enrolled to self-defense course, i ordered to medical examination i postponed for many years and i decided to say good bye to some clients to move with my work. Even though i was in quite bad mood yesterday i had zero urgess and i am still doing well. I finished all my job befere 5 pm today so i guess its a success.

    Thank you guys for all your help and support i am glad to be here.

    I also contribute to Alex to help him fight with P industry. Go for it too, guys:
    https://nofap.com/defend-alex/
     

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