My Story

I'm an 18 year old girl, and ever since my freshman year of high school I've watched porn and climaxed to it almost every day of my life.
I've always been into romance, not sexual things. I've always wanted to have a very romantic and amazing relationship without having to have sex for at least a year because love is worth more than those nasty thoughts. I always told myself I could still enjoy porn without feeling like I want to have sex. Hell, I've never dated anybody until now. I've never even held hands with someone, never sent a nude or taken one, I've never done anything dirty with somebody else. So I figured, porn is fine when I'm alone.
But here I am, finally obtained my first boyfriend, and only two weeks in I want to fuck his lights out. I think about it all the time and I feel like something is wrong with me. I feel disgusting, like a dirty filthy whore. I hate feeling like this, especially when I always wanted an adorable romantic relationship, but just yesterday I masturbated to the thought of us fucking like animals.
I hate the monster I have become.
I talked to my three best friends about this, and they said I was normal, and they too have had these thoughts. So I should just do what I want with my boyfriend. But it isn't so simple because I hate the way I feel. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said it's normal too. But he's only dated one other girl before me, and he dumped her because he doesn't like slutty girls and that's what she was. I'm afraid I will become like her and he will dump me as well, so that's another reason why I'm doing NoFap. I feel like after I told him my feelings he wasn't as happy as most men would be. And now he already acts differently around me.
Me and some of my friends who wanted to join for fun, are going an entire year without looking at porn. We call the movement "No Nut Year." We have a chatroom on Instagram called "Nut Allergies" so if anybody here wants to be added, drop your username below. We are starting tonight at midnight, and not nutting again until September 16th of 2019.
Tell me, after this ends, will I have less sexual feelings? Will I become what I want to be? I am choosing glory over passion, and I will succeed.