My story contains links.

Hi.

I've revised this to eliminate the links, as I'm not allowed to link until I've made two posts. When I've got the appropriate credentials, I'll attempt to add them back in, or something.

I've had a very deep relationship with porn, and I saw nothing wrong with that.
(I even got banned from this site due to my fundamental confusion about it, and deemed a troll.)
Until recently. I was [link removed talking about veganism/vegetarianism] and that [link removed corporatism] is the reason that our habit of eating meat is so prevalent. and I realized that the same argument applies to porn. The self-hatred, the lack of care of self, the use of sex to get attention, and so forth, all reduces to the elimination of presence in favor of addiction. And this reduces to corporatism.

Corporatism is, essentially, statism. It's the atmosphere and flavor of a society that is based on [link removed taxation]. Now, I recognized the flaw of this when I was very young, mainly from property taxes. But I had blinded myself to the full conclusion of anarchism by having already masturbated to porn for years on end. When you have the sex trance, and your position isn't clearly morally defined to you, then there is no position: there's just the sex trance.

Originally, [link removed when I realized this], I decided that I would put a full stop to any self-touching. It was partially in relation to an inspirational post somewhere on here. I pressed a button while I was considering the question of jacking off, and I got to the thread. But I had no referent, so I [link removed screencapped] it. I decided I would not touch myself, period; [link removed masturbation, I concluded, using a theory I'd been working on, reduced presence]. I even [link removed got rid of the porn on my tumblr (at least, what I could see)]. I think advocated [link removed meditation instead of masturbation].

But there's an important caveat (a few of them, actually):
1. The biggest one is my wife. We're semi-separated, and whenever I go over there, we can't not have sex. We like each other too much. She practically "rapes" me. But this isn't about sex, it's about touching myself to her, whether that be in regard to us talking, or looking at pictures of her.

Essentially, any content that isn't corporate-based I consider to be fine to get off to, because the dopamine dynamic makes for accelerated learning, and to do such accelerated learning in a natural, organic context, I think is a healthy thing, as well as an outlet for sexual frustration. It is, however, as being an outlet, that this falls under suspicion. I consider the fundamental question to be, "Will this alleviate the corporate porn chemical structure that I've burned into my brain, or not?"

Trigger: these next points could potentially be triggers. I'm presenting them for discussion because I want to get a better grip on whether I should discard them.

2. Book porn. Literally, naked women and books. Like [link removed this]. And [link removed this]. Scroll down on the first one, and you'll see more books, booty, and boobs. I don't know about you, but it makes me want to cum and then get down and dirty with a good book.

3. Real people having sex. Like [link removed this]. While technically it still adheres to a lacking of presence, this again is organic objectification, and has an absolute limit of how far lack of care could go. These are real people, and your reactions will affect them.


In juxtaposition with this, I've [link removed been becoming more critical of anarchism], principally because I hold to holarchism, which, while having most of the anarchistic principles as its foundation, does not in any fundamentally way focus on social grouping; it's all focused on the importance of the individual. I made two videos about it, [link removed here] and [link removed here].

While it has been partially due to the [link removed prodding of Daniel Magus], it's something that's been on my mind for years. It's based on the total environment of anarchists' being that of a statist culture, such that there is a search for "The Solution"; rightly goes the thought that "[link removed anarchists do not offer The Solution]", yet there is an overly-rigid paranoia about social groups. The same way that statists see all social groups as forms of government, so too do most anarchists see social groups as the anti-thesis of anarchism. Despite the recognition that social grouping does not entail statism, [link removed there is no effort to consolidate the needs of what statism shows to a human want]: organization above the individual level. The focus is exclusively on ensuring the recognition of self-rule. The problem with this is that the reality is, we are social animals. Not that we, necessarily, have to use force to maintain that, but that is the anarchistic assumption: social groups will be done via force. While it is true that most current versions are indeed just that, anarchists do not actually propose any alternate versions of societal structure or thought. You would think that this would be covered by the "The Solution" problem, but it isn't. [link removed It is the same assumption set as atheism, which has led to scientism, and a rejection of the reality of quantum mechanics' non-locality]: it is the rejection of social grouping in favor of individualism, the same problem of ideological sustainability that feminism faces.

It was in still arguing with people on facebook and YouTube, that I ended up getting sick, and, in feeling like shit about myself, masturbated grandiosely, 4 times in a single morning, and the last one to chaturbate, when I'd had a 1-2 week run of complete abstinence from touching myself. It was a wake-up call to get off of arguing about things on facebook and YouTube as much as possible, and read some good books, [link removed apply to some corporate jobs], get ready to learn some singing and music, and get some coding done to make an idea I have for a better facebook, [link removed Social Wiki], a reality.

I know I've covered a lot of ground with this post. It's partially because, about a week ago, I wanted to write about this topic, but the possibility of reactivating my banned account was not an option, which was extremely disheartening, and I couldn't figure out how to make a new thread. In fact, the only reason I'm writing this one is because I got to link to be able to write it via email... albeit, I'm seeing, 11 days ago at this point. Well, I got frustrated and dropped it, and used the app instead.

But, the app does not allow for distinctions regarding the MPO stuff. If you masturbate, you've relapsed. So, now I'm on the forum here, per the new fuzziness that I want to discuss:

The essential thing to note is that what I most want to talk about, first, is whether it makes sense to masturbate to the things listed above.

 

From what I can tell, my other post was deleted. My hope is that a reply works the same way.

 

It seems that it does.

Yet the overall problem is still maintained:
"The following error occurred:
Sorry, you were not able to post since the message contained a link or an image!

For this Forum, before you can create content with links or images, you must first meet the minimum requirements

Minimum Requirements
You must have created at least 2 Posts (Yours: 2)
You must have received at least 1 Likes (Yours: 1)
Your Like: Post Ratio must be at least: 0% (Yours: 0%)
You must be registered for at least 2 days (Yours 11)"

My assumption then is, that though the requirements are met,
I still need to be approved.

I implore you - look at the story and the necessity of links to it!

 

Thank you. I took them out, but still hit the problem of not being able to post due to there being links.