My situation - apologies if this turns into a long post

I'm impressed you read the whole saga/thread!
I've finished the first draft of the novel - 87000 words, roughly 350 paperback pages. I'm pleased with the way it has turned out.
Am now going through the draft and looking for ways to make it better. I expect that to take about another 6 weeks or so.

I write music too, but have put that on hold for now while I concentrate on the novel.

ANH

 

That would have been appropriate.

Science fiction. Set in 2062. Man loses wife in car accident. After 2 years of loneliness and failure to meet anyone IRL (as everyone spends all their time on-line having virtual sex and no-one is interested in real relationships) he buys a robot companion. However, she is not what she seems...

 

There are some sections about a divorcee mother worrying about raising her 14 year old son in a porn-saturated world that have certainly been informed by my experiences here. If I manage to get it published, I will include you in the list of acknowledgements!

'Kenzi? Who's Kenzi?' <Author, tight-lipped, gives enigmatic smile>

ANH

 

So Monday was another day of hard work by both of us on the house, getting everything ready for the carpet fitting on Tuesday (today) to be followed by moving the furniture back in on Tuesday and Wednesday. It went well and my wife was in a very good mood, thanked me for all my efforts etc. Unfortunately she was also exhausted and sore from all the physical work, so it was clear that there would be no chance of any intimacy last night.

As is the usual pattern, when I am almost certain she is not going to be visiting, I didn't get my hopes up and was able to fall asleep. It is the hope that always gets me - it is my Achilles heel. Perhaps I should change my user name here to 'struggling to cope with hope'?

Warning of potential triggers

Just when I had got my conscious mind under control, my subconscious crawls out from under its rock and sabotages me. I had a very vivid and arousing dream in which my wife was lying naked on her front, legs apart and I was behind her, giving her anilingus. [There are some here, no doubt, who would point out the obvious symbolism]. Woke up feeling both highly aroused and frustrated. Damn!

Safe now

Another busy day ahead, which will keep my mind occupied, but no doubt make my wife too tired for love making. Such is life at the moment. One day...maybe quite soon. There's that darned 'hope' again...

ANH

 

Thank you!

 

An interesting day: many positives, some tears and another glimpse into my subconscious. (You're not the only one who can do trailers, @Kenzi )

The carpet fitters were in the house for three hours over lunchtime. My wife, daughter and I were trying to keep out of their way and this ended up with my daughter downstairs and my wife and me in my wife's bedroom. I was lying on the bed, feeling quite tired, as I had been up early and doing a lot of tidying/prep work ahead of the fitters' arrival. My wife was about to leave the room and halfway through the door, stopped, looked at me and came back into the room and gave me a soft, loving kiss on the lips. It was such a rare, perfect moment - encapsulating what I crave but so rarely get - that I cried. When my wife asked me what was wrong I explained that I wasn't sad, just emotional and said 'I need your touch.' She asked me if I'd like a cuddle on the bed, but with the carpet fitters just outside the door, it didn't feel comfortable so I reluctantly declined.

A little later, my wife was sitting on the bed, bare feet up on the bed. I adore her feet, so I placed a little kiss on each big toe and then knelt at the foot of the bed and started massaging her soles. Often my wife gets tired of this quite quickly and thanks me (which is a polite way of saying 'please stop now') but this time she seemed to be really enjoying it and directed me to exactly where she wanted me to press and asked me to press harder. I get to do this so rarely that the muscles in my hands are quite weak, so fairly soon my hands started to ache. However I wasn't going to stop because of a little pain so I carried on and inwardly resolved (in all seriousness) to do daily hand exercises so that I can do this for longer in the future. With 11 days since my last O and with the treat of skin to skin contact with my wife I rapidly developed a raging erection. It was at this moment that the carpet fitters appeared outside the door asking if they could 'have a word.' I sprang to my feet and had to rapidly adjust my clothing to remove the 'tent' in my trousers. My wife didn't notice at the time, but laughed when I told her later.

The consultation with the carpet fitters was about the nature of the new paint our decorator had used. The skirting boards in particular are, it turns out, highly susceptible to damage - the paint just flakes off given the slightest touch. Sure enough, when the carpet fitters left there was extensive damage to our previously pristine paintwork. Rather than being downcast as I expected, my wife just rolled her sleeves up and helped me fix it. Despite the anxiety involved in having to do painting right next to a brand new carpet, everything was fine and we restored it in a couple of hours. The room looked great and we then spent a further three hours or so moving the first of the furniture back in. My wife was still upbeat but extremely tired by the end of the day so I new she wouldn't have the energy for love-making last night. (Ironic isn't it. She was in a great mood, we'd had good connection during the day, we are both aware that, even by my wife's time-table, it is high time we made love, but we were thwarted by good old-fashioned exhaustion. ) I therefore kept my hopes in check and had a good night's sleep.

On Wednesdays my daughter usually goes out for a group activity with some friends and will be doing so today. I will be dad Taxi again, dropping her off at about 12 noon. This means that my wife and I will get a few hours alone together in the house. On one such occasion recently, my wife took the opportunity to dress up while I was out dropping my daughter off and we made passionate love on my return. As I was going to bed last night, I wondered whether something similar might happen today, or whether my wife would be more interested in using the time to continue to work on getting the house back in order. I then had a dream in which this scenario played out and my wife declined the opportunity for love-making saying 'I don't like to fuck in the middle of the day.' Interestingly, recent experience shows that certainly isn't true and also she almost never uses the word 'fuck.' Not sure what my subconscious was driving at, but I am hoping this was just the ramblings of a sex-starved mind, not a premonition of what will actually happen when I get back from dropping my daughter off later today.

So, twelve days since we last 'fucked' (as my wife wouldn't put it) but perhaps today will be the day...

ANH

 

Yup! One of the many reasons I have total sympathy with the SOs here. The obvious difference is that my wife is blameless in the situation. The only thing she is guilty of is having a low libido, which is hardly a crime!
ANH

 

As I was driving back from dropping my daughter off I was trying hard not to get my hopes up. I was trying to tell myself that while I might open the door to find my wife dressed in lingerie, she might equally well have a paint-brush in hand, ready to get on with more decorating.

When I got home, I heard my wife shut the door to her room which I thought was a good sign, as when she dresses up she likes to get completely ready and then appear wherever I am, to enjoy the impact her outfit has on me. (shock and awe!) A few minutes later she emerged half wearing the red basque I had given her earlier in the week and she'd yet to try on. It just about fitted but she couldn't manage the all the fiddly hooks on her own. At her request, I knelt behind her and tried to do up the rest of the hooks. I was kneeling behind her, with her naked bottom just in front of me. The situation was highly erotic, but then slightly less so as I had to borrow her glasses and get her to move under the light so that I could see to do up the hooks! (I hate getting old!)

Once I had finished with the hooks she turned around and she looked amazing. It was clear at this point that further decorating was off the menu. We made love slowly, passionately and beautifully. I felt like I was at the edge almost immediately I was so aroused but the whole experience was wonderful and we both 'finished' explosively. And then we had a long warm cuddle, and fell asleep in each other's arms. Afternoon delight indeed.

ANH

 

Not weird, just, kind, generous and compassionate. It looks like yesterday we made three people happy!!
ANH

 

A happy few days have passed. My wife and I are relaxed in each other's company, having the occasional hug and just getting on with life. I am going away on my bird-watching trip before the crack of dawn on Tuesday, returning late Wednesday. I am not expecting that we will make love again before I go away - though maybe she will surprise me.

I plan to leave a love letter for her to find when I am already on the road. I have just finished writing it and it is two pages long. In it, I tell her about the depth of my love for her and how much I adore making love to her. I've also included the following:

Some people say that it is difficult to keep the magic alive in a long marriage; I honestly think I could make love to you every day until I am 100 and never get bored. Some days it is a constant battle to keep my hands off you! But I am keen to keep the magic alive for you too. So that is why this letter also contains a request. When you have some time to yourself, when our lovely daughter has finally dragged herself to bed, can you write back to me please? Say whatever you feel like saying, but can you also think about our love-making and write down:

a) Something that we've never done, do occasionally or have done more in the past that you would like to do more of

b) Something that we do that you are not that keen on and you would like to do less often

c) A fantasy that you have that you would like to try acting out (if only once)

d) A fantasy that you have that you wouldn’t really want to act out in real life, but talking about it or pretending might be fun.

I honestly cannot think of anything you might suggest that I wouldn’t be prepared to try, at least once, so please don’t be afraid to ask! Let your imagination run wild. I love sex and I love you, so let me bring you pleasure in any way that I can.

I hope that she is pleased to receive it and takes the opportunity to ask for what she wants!
ANH