My perversion - acquired or natural?

Bonjour,

I'm a porn addict and I was often looking for female feet or girls feet in high heels.
I was like you. Forced to watch female feet and toes and high heels in the street (plus all what girls have to horny me, butt, breast, lips, long hairs, french nails, legs etc...) but especially high heels, toes and incurved feet. (First time i talk about it like that).
I think we are fetishist. You like mature girls.
The solution is to say NO. Listen your voice in your head. When you feel that it become to happen. For exemple, if a 50 years girl come close to you. Say in your head "No, i'll resist". as any time as necessary. Until the pulse or the person desappear. It's your WILL. you can train your Will.
When I watched too much porn or high heels stuff on internet, i had the feeling that my eyes litteraly burned. Too much is too much. Now, when erotic stuff or toes or high heels pass in front of me, i try too not watch even if i see it.

I hope it will be help full. I'm a newbies here, and sorry for my english !

 

Hi Pauts, great question.


That girl's chin is so hot
My experience has been the same. I started watching porn really young, 12. I guess that's not too young actually, the average kid now-a-days is like 9. On to my point. When the internet eventually came around, I noticed I was particularly interested in a women's behind. Probably from watching hours hundreds of hours of music videos of girls dancing half naked. My taste in women was pretty much determined before I knew what was happening. I really believe if I had watched hours of video showing a women's chin i'd be like "That girl's chin is so hot!". It sounds crazy but to a person who doesn't like women's feet it's the same way. You're not weird or a perv, it's just what you spent a tremendous amount of time doing like everyone else here.


THAT'S SO HOT, or is it?
I don't remember when but there was a time when I started watching anal. Mind you I had no intentions of putting my penis in a women's anus but the shots were in the general area I admired a woman's body. For some unknown reason I stopped watching anal and moved on to oral, and that particular desire lasted a lot longer. I had never previously had any desire for oral sex, but after hundreds of hours of porn I couldn't even watch a girl eat food without feeling an onslaught of passions.


It's all about the chase...
I mentioned all of these things because I wanted to make a point of how powerful the combination of looking and activating your sexual members is. Initially touching yourself and looking at porn is enjoyable because the naked female body is a very beautiful thing to behold. After some time though, the only thing that remains is the rush to find a novel image and the rush of finding that which has not been found yet. This is a compulsion similar to gamblers, at some point, it's not about the money, it's all about the chase but girls are not mountains or rocks to be chased after rather they are sisters, mothers, wives and daughters to be loved and cared for. It's actually a quit normal thing.


Truly feel alive
Take for an example the mountain climbers who climb mountains in sub 0 temperatures to only climb back down and do it again. People who collect rocks and other items experience the same rush and surprisingly ease of mind. It's something we're meant to enjoy, that is the act of being absolutely present. Especially now-a-days, people rarely experience truly being present. It produces a euphoric experience, time itself almost seems to slow down and even stop, you feel truly alive. There are of course healthy ways to achieve this, as mentioned above, collecting is a wonderful habit, Praying, traveling etc.


Be present my friend, not wishing to acquire the not yet acquired but rather appreciating the moment, the present; it's what's been given to us from above. God wishes for us to partake of eternity with Him, the present is the closest we'll get in this life.

 

You can train you will , not your desires.

OP:

I'm not entirely sure what to tell you. Might be acquired , might be natural , might be a combination of both.

See what happens after a few months of no PMO'ing to that.

 

I believe it is natural. Everybody has a certain kind of fetish, fantasy or preference for characteristics in their preferred gender. It's all explainable via causality and the experiences in that persons life which drew them to form the preferences they have.

I don't believe you desires are caused by porn, but that viewing porn of such women could strengthen something that was already present within you to begin with. I don't believe porn can just sway someone into something they wouldn't have already had some desire already.

 

It definitely can and does. You have to be able to account for men who stop watching porn and who's desires revert back to regular sex. Some guys even report watching stuff that doesn't align with their sexual preferences.

I'd agree that it may be a pre-existing condition, but when you remove a single variable like porn and these desires suddenly disappear then something else is going on here.

 

About 2 months in my "fetish" desires kind of subsided (bear in mind this fetish has been with me since I started and I was unable to watch anything but for 10 years) and I started wanted regular sex. I guess it gets better after that, but I was not able to make it to 90 days yet.

 

My thoughts are that there is definitely some acquired tastes based on experience - in my instance, I have a lingerie fetish, most likely spurned by getting off to Victoria's secret fashion shows or looking at lingerie in catalogs and stuff when I was younger and the internet wasn't prevalent. Your brain takes on an acquired taste based on pleasurable things in its past and the images associated with those memories. A BMW guy who's grown up with BMW's and such is never going to convert over to Mercedes because all his car memories and good images in his head are of BMW's.

I do have to say that over time the desires subside, but I don't think they can ever really go away, as we can't erase our memories. I've noticed over my past 2 clean streaks of 60 days and 46 days that my mind has started to not seek out the images as much as they did before. That's not saying that when my wife puts on lingerie it doesn't excite the hell out of me, but rather I don't find myself searching all over to get my "fix" of it. So I do believe a clean streak helps to suppress the feelings you've had over time.