My partner relapsed after a year

Just forget it ! BUT don't let to him to do it again! If he does it again this is the finish. I relapsed 2 times after 130 day and after from this i can't to stop it! Pls help him

 

Sounds like depression to me. He will keep relapsing if he won't try. You can't help him as long as he doesn't want. You can't force somebody who does not want. You need to make him want it. I don't know how tho. Depression is a tricky thing. People become apathetic and stop caring. You could try to somehow remind him how awful it was and make the pain of NOT trying more real for him than the satisfying coping of games and porn. But it might push him even deeper into depression. So "though love" is kinda risky. But being too supportive might not do anything either, it could potentially just give him permission to care even less. I think the best thing to do here is to get professional help. Not just for addiction, cos judging by what you say it's not the only issue here anymore, also for depression (which seems like the biggest problem now for him than porn).

 

Doesn't sound ready to me either, judging by what you say. But I don't know, maybe he used to be even worse, so in contrast it might appear so for a doctor? Is he doing some kind of behavioral therapy? Cognitive behavioral therapy or something similar? I personally am not very much pro meds. Sure, they might be fine in extreme cases, kinda like bandage for a healing scar. But In my opinion I don't think they should be solution, just a temporary crutch. All they do is cover up the symptom (depression) but does not solve the root cause of depression (which might be porn or it might be him being dissatisfied with his life and losing hope to change that, etc).

Sometimes depression might be caused by some kind of chemical imbalances or even physical brain trauma. But most of the time it's not an actual disease, it's a symptom of some type of thought patterns or life conditions. So having a professional that would take time talking with him, digging up his deepest thoughts to get till root cause and try to fix it by applying some NLP techniques, or something like that, would be 100 times better than a doctor who just prescribes a drug, tells him to ate healthy and try to introduce more hobbies and pleasurable things in his life. But maybe that's just my anti-ish drugs attitude.

 

:/

 

@MementoMori Well, I don't know what to say. I hope he will realize how serious it is and start wanting to change eventually. I will send you guys some positive thoughts. Try not to let him drag you down with him. There is always hope, things never stay shitty forever.

Also, how about doing therapy together tho? You could stop him from some lies then or maybe even squeeze out some truth so he opens up more to therapist. And maybe you being brutally honest about how you feel to therapist in front of him could open his yes and make him start caring more? Just another thought, in case you are not doing that yet already.

 

Is he on this site?

 

I second Shuttlesworth's question. If he's not on this site then tell him about this place and he can chat in between his games. Probably good for him to talk to some other guys who've fucked up big time and then reclaimed their streaks and lives.

 

Totally agree with @Son of a Bitch

Maybe by finding people who share his problem, he can open himself to keep fighting. It's always cool to find out that we are not the only ones with a certain problem and we can share experiences to get better together.

 

Firstly, this isn't like quitting chocolate.
This is one of the deepest brain affecting addictions, on the same level as hardcore drugs.

He's done incredibly well to go for 1 year without it.

I also have to say that asking a question like "Is there any hope?" When he went 1 year is a bit harsh. Maybe you think this addiction just goes away after a flick of the switch, but I would hope you don't think that. It's a very very long if not never ending addiction, what matters most is that the time free of porn outweighs the time in porn, preferably by a 10:1 ratio let's say.
Plus it's all dependent on what porn you're addicted to, if it's really hardcore stuff it's going to be harder to keep away for longer.

He will relapse, its normal to reach a tipping point...but it's climbing the hill again that's important not focusing on the fall.

Now get him refocused, provide a reward for reaching milestones for example.
It can get very tiring and depressing just going and going with no real aim or prize in sight. You find yourself just dwelling in conflicting decisions between keeping on or succumbing to the porn.

Porn addiction is thought cancer.