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My observations on online dating

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by vibemaker, Jul 30, 2017.

  1. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    @Arkangel Colon

    Well I actually said in my post that sex & a relationship isn't a must for happiness between the lines. I don't think you sounded harsh, but I wonder how you came to the conclusions you made. Ehm... and of course I want to have sex with the girl I'm in a relationship with. That's also a healthy part for me. I just don't masturbate.
     
  2. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    You do you, man. I'd rather masturbate than have sex with anyone of any gender, and anyone of any sexuality. But if you wanna have sex, I'll have nothing against you.
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  3. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    Ok, great thread.. i just deleted the last dating ap on my phone as i know it was hindering a full reboot. This thread helped me to get into reality.. several times i would go to cancel it but then the ap is open and im scrolling through the girls locked in again hoping 1 clicks me back.. i tried for days to get rid of it but would always get sucked back in.. finnaly killed it. Happy for me!
     
  4. Those dating apps are addictive like porn. Maybe more insidious because it seems like you might be making a real life connection in the future.
     
  5. Delete your accounts on the dating apps you have. Just do it. Its bad for your reboot. Fibd girls in the real world. The good old-fashioned dating feels much better

    I made the mistake to download a dating app years ago, some people talked about it at a party and I wanted a boyfriend (I am a girl)

    In short, I got addicted to that app. Coz I felt wanted and so easily and in seconds I had tons of dates without even going out. I went on countless first dates having fun dumping guys and boosting my ego. I re-downloaded this app tons of times just coz when I felt unwanted or simply lonely, with no friends and nothing to do

    Then I met 2 guys on that app, and I fell in love with both of them. They broke my heart. The last one even said to me after he left me, months later on the phone in front of his girlfriend that we met on a dating app, like you knew what it was. Dunno if he meant it but that really hurt me, like I had no faults about the way we met. I would have changed that if I could

    These 2 guys have been the most abusive relationships I had. I could see that had almost zero respect for me compared to guys I have been with that i met in "real life"

    They have been the 2 biggest mistakes of my life
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2017
    vibemaker likes this.
  6. You were cruel as fck :(
    BUT
    Karma is a bitch
     
  7. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Yeah. Dating apps are pretty bad. Meeting a girl in real life is infinitely better.

    But, if you are not meeting girls in real life then it's better than not meeting any women at all.

    Though I would highly recommend Bumble over Tinder. Having women make the first message gets rid of all the effort with the stupid 'witty first message' stuff.

    Also it's funny that you mentioned the guys you met over dating apps not really respecting you.

    I met my current GF on tinder and I don't really think about it that much. But when I do it does make me upset. It makes it really in your face the knowledge that she was meeting and sleeping with other guys before we started hanging out.

    Which is kind of an unhealthy surface to start a long term relationship on.
     
    Scorpion24 likes this.
  8. Let's set the records straight. I didn't deserve it. I am a good person
    Cruel asf? I just grabbed a drink with some guys that weren't really interested in me, we didn't get along and that was it
    they had other dates ready to go on so i am sure it wasn't a big deal to them
    It is not cruel to go on a date and then decide you don't wanna see that person anymore, it is called tastes
    I felt i needed a guy to make me feel wanted to feel appreciated. now i learnt to love myself
    same thing some guys do when they have s with a lot of girls, they want to feel wanted and they too lack self-love and self-esteem

    This is a big bullshit. I hate when guys come up with us girls being cruel. What about some guys?
    Usually guys are less picky while girls are more picky. that is a fact. rarely guys reject a girl

    due to those 2 guys i have been with, I went to a very deep depression, suicidal thoughts, my self-esteem got destroyed, i had no respect for myself, i have been humiliated in my dignity of a woman due to my s addiction, they both ruined my things and clothes (they stretched my clothes, they were eventually 1/2 sizes bigger than mine, they had fun with them while i was asleep i think. i hoped they would have stopped but they did it until they could. i never understood why they did that to me. eventually i had to throw 90% of my clothes away and buy new ones), to one I just told him "do you remember the way I looked at you?" he didn't say anything but i know he remembered that. 10 minutes later on the phone told me he regretted that had been with me, he had no mercy

    the first one attacked me for being Catholic also (he was Muslim), being told at the end i deserved all the worst in life and he dumped me after having s out of blue high on weed and got paranoid and started saying he was going to report me to the police and i was a disgrace to my family. i tried to calm him down, he was laughing at me in an evil way while i was begging him to not leave me in that way, at some point he looked at me with anger and i was afraid he would have hit me with his hands so i gave up and didn't say anything. he then stalked with phone calls and text messages me for a year after we met once after the breakup, i wanted him to apologize but i felt he wan't truly sorry. i am happy he stopped trying to get in touch with me after what he did to me. he will be forever blocked on whatsapp and on my phone

    At the end i just wanted to die, i gave myself to 2 people who have been monsters to me. I had to pick myself up, i didn't even know where to start. i was so humiliated, didn't want to tell anyone i knew in person it was too humiliating but i talked with a priest and went to Mass and looked for comfort from God Himself

    at the end of my last relationship (the second guy I met on the dating app),I hit rock bottom 8 months ago. it was the darkest period of my life. i used to cry everyday, praying God to make me die. i couldn't bear that pain anymore. i decided to quit my addictions for good

    I wouldn't wish this not even to my worst enemy, if i had one. Now you tell me who was cruel as fuck. I treated them very good, took care of them and loved them and that was what i got in return but i forgave them for what they did to me. it was a long suffered path but i did forgive them and above all i forgave myself for letting them do all that bad to me and keep staying with them

    @Temujin i wasn't sleeping around via the dating app i used. i was never interested in that. i only had s with these 2 guys i have been with each 7 months. my problem wasn't finding a guy who was willing to fuck me but someone who i could get along with and have a serious and healthy relationship. about using a dating app, you gotta deal with other "competitors". plus you gotta see if the both of you are ready to commit and delete each other profiles on dating apps. usually people do not. sounds bad putting it in this way but it is the truth. by the time i realized how things worked in dating apps it was too late and i already fell for one of those 2 guys

    I had a girl friend who admitted that met her then bf on a dating app and he introduced her to his family quite soon. then she also went on living in his family's house with his parents coz he had a work that took him a lot abroad. some of my guy friends told me that he was fucking around even if he introduced her to his family etc., technically all good signs

    basically she found numerous times messages quite explicit from other girls he had s with. when she confronted him about that, he cried. I told her he was the evolution of the fuckboy. they had each other pin numbers for their phones and he didn't even care to get caught. it was disgusting. i felt sorry for her. eventually she broke up with him after 2 years and a half

    now i see it in this way, better being single than being with the wrong person and wondering if the other person is really loyal to you and trustworthy. I believe dating apps are absolutely not better than not meeting women/men at all. how did people do 50 years ago etc.? and yet they have been able to find their s.o. and have families with kids. you just got to get out there, socialize and then boom, you find someone right for you in a spontaneous way without forcing things
     
    Scorpion24 likes this.
  9. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. It sounds horrifying!

    Also I know not all girls use dating apps to sleep around, but dating apps do carry that stereotype. Which has made it a bit awkward when me and my GF explain to people how we met.

    I also agree meeting people in everyday life is much better
     
  10. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Wow, it's really crazy what fuckin idiots wander on earth. You don't deserve this. Take care of yourself. :)

    Btw, I deleted my last account a few days ago. Don't miss it.
     
  11. @green lion eating the sun
    It meant to be joke at first because I was once the guy that was seriously dumped to boost someones ego.
    I will not measure my suffer with your because comparation of suffering is useless.
    According to this:
    I hope you had a solid lesson from this experience and you will be wiser in the future.
    I hope you won't be doing fun this ways on no one because you can meet finally someone who will do fun of you in worst possible ways which you experienced.
    Your emotionall reaction tells me that you still didn't forgave them - it's my feedback to you because
    you might not see it.
    I feel much compassion for you and those abusive guys. And also to the ones that you dumped to boost your ego.
    I'm happy that you survived and are now here recovering from damage.
    I wish you all the best.
    And remember - You reap what you sow.
     
  12. Thank you :) i now rarely think about that dark moment in my life but when i remember i get a little bit sad
    But still hitting rock bottom motivated me to face, acknowledge precisely my addictions and
    quit my addictions for good and i worked on bettering myself for the first time in my life and this really improved everything :)

    A quote from Othello that marked the start of my reboot "This is the night that either makes me or fordoes me quite"
     
  13. did you get dumped after the first date?
    i have NOTHING to reproach myself about dumping guys after the first date. this is ridiculous. i am 25 and those guys just wanted s from me, we didn't like each other and they had others girls to go on dates with
    if everybody after dumping people after a first date felt bad, then people would constantly feel bad
    why you said i didn't forgive them? it didn't make sense for me to keep harboring anger etc. towards them, it didn't help me plus i am a Catholic and my religion teaches to forgive the ones who hurt us
    so you are saying that when you took it bad after being dumped you deserved it coz "You reap what you sow"?
     
  14. I would like to publicly apologize you.
    My first post meant to be funny (I didn't know the whole story) while the second one meant to be a feedback and a kind response with best wishes on your recovery journey and life journey. You didn't deserved such a horrible treatment and there are no doubts.
    If my posts offended or insulted you I would like to say one more time that I apologize for this posts.
     
  15. Thank you
     
  16. what if I dont have a chance to meet woman in real life? im 27 and have no clue where to find them.
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  17. I couldn't agree with you more. It sucks that the majority of people don't age gracefully. Very difficult being in your 40s and trying to meet someone that has managed to stay fit and attract
    are you stuck on a deserted island?
     
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