My NoFap story (coming from a skeptic)

Hey all,

I (28) went on holiday and didn't masturbate for two weeks, figured I would extend it and try NoFap. I returned from the trip about a week ago now. I thought I'd share my experience.

Presently, I'm past the 20 day mark. (Quite a bit more but I set a strict starting date of June 20th, because that's when my holiday started. I actually hand't masturbated a few days before.) Feel free to skip any of the sections below if you don't care about them.

Background
My starting thoughts were that I'd been having some sexual issues, mostly limp dick and just not particularly interested in women. I was also quite ambivalent about one particular woman I had had sex with a while ago with phenomenal breasts that I broke up with. I didn't feel much attracted to her, but felt ashamed of that, like I wasn't a man. What man doesn't want someone with breasts like that? I felt insecure and weirdly shamed and 'cucked' by the situation. It wasn't very healthy.

I also started reading No More Mr. Nice Guy and realized that my relationship with women has always been on the opposite end of the spectrum of a player. I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm fit, but I've always been extremely reactive about my sexual urges and always kind of rolled into relationships. I think generally I've been ashamed of my hetero male sexuality.

I started watching porn at a young age. As a teenager, probably a bit excessively, but later on a 'normal' 2/3 times a week. The subjects were usually:
- Comics or games, cartoon or hentai style
- Voyeurism
- JAV
- Celebrities (particularly looking up nude footage of women I find hot in movies)
- Amateurs or gifs

I always felt sort of ashamed about these preferences. They felt childish and seemed to feed on a sense of shame. I did have a healthy sexual relationship with my longest girlfriend though, and the whole limp-dick thing and disinterest was only a recent phenomenon.

The rules
Basically, I'm doing No PM and I'm accepting whatever O I get that isn't caused by masturbation. That means I'm fine having sex and I'm fine having wet dreams. I actually love wet dreams. They make me super relaxed and are usually interesting and very vivid. I consider them a natural way in which my body releases sexual tension. So far, however, I've not had sex nor have I had a wet dream, so so far it's been no PMO for me.

The goal is a full reboot, 90 days, which ends 20th of September. What I do then, I'll see. Again, sex is permitted, so I'm hoping to just have sex to settle some of my urges.

After 20 days
So far, I've noticed the following:
- NO WET DREAMS. I had expected them.
- I am much more horny and aware of my dick. I get random boners and sometimes I get sexual thoughts. I just kinda watch those happen and its actually kind of nice.
- My dick smells different. It smells good though. Very potent, like it's ready to go. I was having some dry skin issues before I started.
- The sexual fantasies are pretty much always about actual women I could have sex with.
- The sexual fantasies are not really related to the past. They are first about women in my immediate vicinity and then about women I could have sex with if I tried.
- My fantasies are perfectly normal, about me having sex with ladies I know. They're not about voyeur, not about other men, not about weird situations. In my fantasies, I feel powerful and dominant, like a man.
- It has not kept me awake. I used to masturbate before sleeping a lot and would get restless in bed, masturbate, then sleep. Now, I just kinda meditate.
- It doesn't at all feel unnatural or forced not to masturbate. I haven't had to suppress any urges.
- I want to have sex. I sometimes feel it like electricity running through me, where you know even a touch will be a sensual experience.
- I think I feel more energized (I've been jetlagged from the trip, but the trip was great and I was very creative during it).
- I think I feel more clear of what I want.
- I look at more women more often, and they look at me more (or I see them looking).
- I don't really feel the urge to watch porn. Insofar as I miss it, it's more out of nostalgia.
- I have been a little sad and anxious, but I'm also tired due to the jetlag. During the trip, I felt great. Very relaxed.
- Anxious thoughts (which sometimes bother me) have not been particularly bad. They even feel a little blocked, like I have too much 'life force' to become panicky. Sounds weird, and not sure if it's placebo or a coincidence, but it feels true.

Finally, the woman with the big breasts that I dated and I had sex with that I felt I had to be attracted to hasn't dominated my mind much. This was surprising, I had expected the opposite. As I grew more horny, I'd long for her more and the thought of not having her anymore would grow more unbearable, so I thought. Instead, my body rather naturally seems to say it wants something else, namely sex with other women. I think what I'm finding is that once I give my sexual energy the space to grow, I can interpret it much better. It has a mind of its own that has a say, rather than being suppressed and bullied by my psyche into doing things it doesn't much want.

I'm still a bit skeptical about the whole dopamine thing, although In haven't read much about it. I definitely feel better though. So far, my thoughts are:
- The boost in horniness and testosterone probably make you feel more confident, combined with the discipline and commitment. This definitely makes you feel better, more assertive. I've just been checking out women and flirting more, plus I'm more 'in the present.'
- If you're in a relationship and want a healthy sexual interaction with your partner, NoFap is a great idea. I have no doubt that if I were in a relationship I would be channeling this sexual energy into my girlfriend.
- I think porn is definitely the superlative of regular masturbation. I have no urge to watch porn now, but I feel an urge to masturbate. After having orgasmed from masturbation, I'm sure I would just want to watch porn again if I kept it up. It really is just a lack of imagination.
- So far I would definitely recommend NoFap to anyone that is even slightly uncomfortable with their PMO habits. It's really about not indulging yourself and the payoff is quite good. I would recommend picking up meditation though. Always a good idea, but especially to observe your urges rather than resist them or give in to them.

Will post more updates. Was gonna post one at the 30 day mark but I got excited (and horny) and decided to post early.