My husband prefers porn to me

Hi guys, I’m new to nofap. I believe my husband maybe watching and maybe addicted to porn. We only have sex twice a week and I usually initiate. When we have sex he does things that seem “porny”. He blames his low libido on stress and says that nothing gets him excited and that he NEVER masturbates EVER. I tell him it’s completely normal and he shouldn’t be ashamed. But he sticks with this lie. My gut says he’s replacing me with porn! Also I notice that he checks women out. So I know he has it in him! He definitely is sexual. Also complains that after sex he has prostate pain and that maybe that’s why he’s maybe psychologically turned off by sex.

 

Many thanks for the quick reply. I have had this conversation many-many times and still he won’t admit it. He never turns me down for sex either. So if I wanted we could have sex more then 2 or 3 times. But he never initiates. Then I feel like a big pervert or desperate. I just feel helpless and unattractive. I’m wildly attracted to him. It’s creating low-self esteem and anxiety in my personal life. I know I’m a catch, but when your husband doesn’t treat you like it, It’s beyond hurtful. Is it safe to say all men masturbate alot and he must be lying to me?

 

New to this little community and it’s definitely helped. Again thanks for reaching out

 

Hey Numb, thank you so much for that link. I will look it up. He’s an amazing husband, and I’m trying my best to be patient and I am having a hard time with him opening up. He said he used to do it quite a lot before we met, but now doesn’t. Says he’s not in the mood for even that. My gut still tells me something isn’t quite right. Thanks for your advice

 

Hey no worries, I really appreciate your advice. We have a beautiful relationship. We are newly weds and are affectionate towards one another 247. Also we have very active lives and on our day off we do what most young couples do. It’s not dull or boring. But sex is very important and 2 a week is not enough. We were making love 4. 3 is fair. 2 is going downhill. I’ve not lost my attraction to him and I expect the same from him. I see he’s sexual and politely looks at other women. So like I said he has the spark. Sex is everything; bonding, fun, attraction, and so on. Thanks for your feedback and always open to opinions!

 

Hi Numb,
Thank you so much for your kind words and something tells me we are in similar situations. I too want my marriage to work and I fear if it gets bad now... what will it be like 10 years down the road. I expect my husband to not only love me BUT be in love with me aswell and I don’t ever want to lose our passion. I think you know from experience that WE MUST NOT IGNORE OUR GUT. And it is hard to be patient. I fantasize about leaving him some coconut oil and tissues by the bedside. A gift set from his beloved wife . But I say “calm down” give it time. Look at all the qualities he has. But really... this is important and why can’t you take 20m out of your evening 3 times a week... I do hope your situation sorts itself out and our men start to be honest. My husband does this thing where if he doesn’t mention it... it’s not a lie. Keeping things from me are not a lie. Unless I ask. Best of luck and it feels so good to hear your words!

 

Thanks Ghost Rider,

He says after we have sex or after he mb he gets a pain in his prostate. Like pressure. We have both gone to the doctor. They have given him medication. It was a 30 day treatment. (ciprofloxacin) The doctor said maybe psychologically he’s refraining from sex because he doesn’t want to be in pain. We used to make love 4 days. Now it’s 2. I initiate one session and he the other, but I feel it’s a pity-fuck. He get’s off and I’m turning him on though. Porny things are deep-throating and pushing my head down during oral. I don’t mind. It makes him happy but I know this is done in porn. To answer your question he is 34 and yes we are both in a very-very stressful situation. So this is true. He also never refuses to have sex. But definitely low-libido issues. But like I said, he notices beautiful women. I notice that. The spark is there! When we make love he tells me the things he likes. It is hot sessions. We had the same schedule for a year. So if he were to mb it would be in the bathroom. Now we have opposite schedules so he can do as he pleases.

 

Oh and also he had gotten his testosterone levels checked. All good. Healthy as a horse

 

He’s very caring and affectionate. We are always hugging and kissing. He does little things for me all the time. At times I think I’m being way to hard on me, BUT my gut is on fire-fire! We come home to each other every night. Stay in communication throughout the day. Maybe I’m too passionate. So confused but I feel he is 100% mb. I think no way can a young man be that numb to sex.

 

Thank you so much. That would be great. We went to the doctor together and he explained the pain. The doctor prescribed that medication and even did the whole “finger” test. So I don’t think he is lying. Otherwise I don’t think he would go through all the trouble. He was also super diligent with taking his medicine twice a day. He won’t even take aspirin.

 

So we went to the doctor together. He explained the pain. The doctor prescribed this medication. My husband was super diligent about taking his medicine twice a day. He never even takes aspirin.

Let’s see... what else, I feel that he’s not lying about pain, but I feel a guy in his early 30’s would have a higher libido. Am I right? We are always together. So he would have to masturbate in the shower or bathroom. He takes his phone with him, but I can hear him listening to video clips. Unless it’s mental imagery.

Do you think only men who watch porn like deep throat or is this a fantasy other men have. He’s NEVER suggested anal or anything forceful. Also caresses me before and after.

And also really great all around. He acts like he’s in love. But to me sex 2 a week is ridiculous.

 

Oh I keep a journal about every action that happens. It’s super helpful and that’s why I’m super in tune with my gut instinct! Thanks for this. It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel this nofap. People that can relate.

 

New
Oh I keep a journal about every action that happens. It’s super helpful and that’s why I’m super in tune with my gut instinct! Thanks for this. It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel this nofap. People that can relate.