My Girlfriend cheated on me help

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Adidas trackies, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Not to mention, submit does not mean what he is implying it means, but that would be an entirely different thread.
     
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  2. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry, I have confirmation from the Lord Himself, that it means what it means, regardless of how much Satan (modern society) likes to twist His word. ;)
     
  3. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha, okay. You keep telling yourself that. I'm out.
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  4. QuittingPMOforever

    QuittingPMOforever Fapstronaut

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    If pornography is cheating then also M and fantasazing sex with another person is cheating, those who came to idea that porn is cheating are same who are jealous when partner is kind to a person, watching where is partner whole day and not letting their partner to breathe, they dont have shit going on in their life, hobies, goals, passions, all they have is partner to hold for the neck, thats very unnatractive thing to do and if you want to lose your partner just keep doing that

    Porn is fake sex
    Cheating is real sex

    Comparing that 2 things is same like you shoot someone with a fake pistol gun and you deserve to be shotted with a real gun haha, really bro? Or you hit them with a fake hammer toy made of plastic and then they hit you with a real hammer and smash the shit out of you, or kill you

    Almost everything you wrote in this thread are facts, i will just correct you a little bit brother.

    Girls are attracted to bad boys not becouse they are bad, no one likes asshole instead, they are generally more attracted to bad boys becouse they have some qualities:

    -they are confident
    -they have no social anxiety
    -they are not shy
    -when rejected, they are not reactive and dramatic and they are still cool and playful

    Those qualities you also can have, when it comes to nice guys this is what is happening tada

    They are nice and expecting something in return, when rejected they are complaining about female nature and how girls like bad boys, reality is was they really nice? To all other people they are assholes or simply neutral and when they see attractive girl they are transform to angels of this world, which is completely fake, and girls recognize this easily becouse it happened to them from 1000 same other nice guys, and all their negative and aggressive reactions are proof they was nice becouse they are expecting something in return, and a lot of them think they are nice but they arent, whenever you are nice and expecting something in return (it doesnt have to be a girl, it can be anyting) you are not actually nice, and all their negative reactions are proof that they are nice with agenda, which is not nice at all

    A lot of girls admitted they will choose bad guy rather then a boring guy
     
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  5. QuittingPMOforever

    QuittingPMOforever Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha. Answer with argument if you can. You cant
     
  6. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    The primitive "bad boy" narrative is just a common misunderstanding of the whole picture, which is much more sane and balanced. In the end the imperative male requirements serve a good purpose. Now I'm not going to the hubris of claiming to fully understand the Lord's creation, but what I understand perfectly matches His vision of the relationship between husband and wife written into the Bible, the latter which I accepted as truth in the whole.

    And yes, many people are angry about how humans work and have lots of problems with relationships due to this. There are some people calling themselves Christians believing the relationship between God and men should be "on eye-level", carefully negotiating "compromises" and crafting "consent" with the Almighty. You can go the thread about the Bachelor TV show to see examples of this modernist bullshit.

    There are also some Christians thinking they can pick and choose from the word and dismiss or twist stuff they don't like so much.
     
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  7. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Adidas,

    I'm sorry.

    If you don't mind me asking; how did you find this out?

    Did she admit it, or did you discover it? And if you discovered it, how did she react when you confronted her?

    Stay strong brother.
     
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  8. Of course, she can't and neither can you! This is why it's so absurd for someone to say God tells them stuff. He can't argue with scripture (because scripture doesn't back him up) so he just tells us God tells him he's right. This isn't the first time on this forum he's played God tells me stuff card. I say @wwtl is completely deluded and I hope people ignore his God speaking to me BS.

    It doesn't matter what you say nor does it matter what I say. If someone thinks it's cheating they think it's cheating and if they think that their partner should respect that. Personally, I think it's cheating and nothing you've said convinces me otherwise.

    I would rather take what women have to say seriously than what some guy on this forum has to say about women. It's rather telling that when women partake in this thread they have been dismissed or laughed at by you and other members in this thread. If you don't want to listen to women everyone should ignore you when you give advice about how women are because you know nothing!
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
  9. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    So the "King" is now attacking my faith because he doesn't like my opinion? BTW: Scripture is full of examples of the Lord communicating to His children through various means. To me He didn't reveal Himself until I accepted His word as truth in its entirety.
     
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  10. Most of the women who are here saying that porn is the same as cheating it’s not because of what you assume. We don’t have husbands or boyfriends that occasionally look at porn. We have men that would rather watch P than have real sex. We have men that turn us down sexually by saying they are too tired and then we wake up to the sounds of porn down the hall when he thinks we’re asleep. We have men that expect us to be loyal to them even when they don’t want us sexually. Are men have another woman and are ignoring our sexual needs because theirs are being met by this other women. So yes, when porn becomes a problem like this for so many of us women, it’s cheating.
     
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  11. I second this. At this point, I would prefer a real person and a real affair. A person is something I could compete with and he would get tired of her eventually too. I can't compete with P. I am only one woman who has a job and a life.
     
  12. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    All,

    Please treat each other with respect. Attack the issue, not each other.
     
  13. The Unfadeable

    The Unfadeable Fapstronaut

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    No excuse for cheating. Your porn use does not excuse her cheating. When she found out you were using porn she could have left if she couldn't handle it but she chose to stay in the relationship. Regardless to how attached you feel to her shes potentially putting your life at risk by going outside the relationship.
    -This dude could have HIV/ Herpes/ Syphillis / Ghonnorea / and if hes got it, you've got it too
    -This may not be the only guy
    -Who the hell is this guy. Is he a crip, hells angel or a dirty cop. He could be crazy and violent and if he gets jealous this can put you at risk for physical violence.

    You need to put your feelings aside and act like a responsible man here.
     
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  14. Survivalist

    Survivalist NoFap Moderator
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    A gentle reminder to responders: please stay on-topic.
     
  15. I got triggered! I didnt even realize it. My apologies for the response. I hope this situation gets better spon!
     
    Survivalist likes this.
  16. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I agree.

    But in context this is extremely unfair to the OP whose girlfriend actually *did* cheat on him. We don't know that his PMO addiction reached the level of neglecting the rest of his life. Your husband's and boyfriends may have gotten to that point but most users do not.

    By contrast, cheating is always a severe problem for a relationship. In fact, I would say that when someone cheats, they are creating a situation in which at least one break-up is inevitable. It is either the existing partner or the new one.
     
    The Unfadeable likes this.
  17. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    @Lilla_My you are 100% correctt in the assessment of the girlfriend. Beautifully written.

    Dear @HustleMan and other guys picking up rocks to stone the “girlfriend”

    I see why you are telling the guy to ditch his girlfriend. Tbh, I have been a playa/papi chulo..... for a while. but coming and doing nofap has made a huge impact on me.

    I don’t know how many women have loved you, but our culture is shitty and our divorce rates reflect similar attitudes on tossing humans like the are sub par —- again , I’m not above you or anyone else I just wanna ask :

    Generally speaking....Do you see girlfriends as disposable?

    Do you apply different rules for girlfriends than for yourself as long as they hide their emotional pains and scars?

    Would you consider disposable your sister, mother; wife ?

    I wonder how deep your attitude goes. Mine does deep , so no judgment, hang in there.
     
  18. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Need4Change- to put this bluntly, people are not telling Adidas to dispose of his girlfriend, they are telling him to recognize that she has already chosen to dispose of herself. It's over. She cannot continue having both Adidas, and this other boyfriend, let's call him "Puma"

    She did not simply slip up and have a one night stand, she did not utilize porn that can be turned off or escorts that will happily go away once they have been paid. She deliberately, over the course of several months, built a second monogamous relationship with "Puma". The other relationship is almost certainly not NSA, and "Puma" is human too. He cares for her, too. He's in the same position as Adidas. She looked "Puma" in the eyes and made the exact same promises to him that she did to Adidas. When she is confronted (if that hasn't happened already) there is a 50-50 shot she will choose "Puma".

    Adidas may still love her, Adidas may choose to forgive her and it might not matter. Maybe she is not a terrible person, but she has done a terrible thing. She has put herself in a position where now she has to pick who she was lying too. The other will be shattered. And the person who is selected may not want to open themself up to that again.
     
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  19. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Virtually no women have any problems with a man masturbating, I struggle to see where you got that from. We love to see our men content and happy, interacting with others (be it male or female) in a kind and appropriate way.

    Porn addiction on the other hand literally changes the brain structure of a person (please take a look at brain scans). It turns someone into a whole new individual, without empathy, interests, goals and so forth. If your girlfriend developed it, you would soon not be able to have a happy relationship any longer. It's far, far more than "masturbation". Living with a porn addict is mourning the death of someone you care about deeply; even though that person is still alive, they are not there any more. As a partner, you have no sex life any longer, no partnership, sometimes no money, your children don't have a parent.

    If you worked in a bank, and someone came in holding a gun to your head, demanding you to fill their bags up with money, you would get freaked. You would quite possibly experience some sort of trauma afterwards. Now, in quite a lot of robberies, the guns are actually replicas and the perpetrator has no intent whatsoever to actually shoot anyone. Still, this is a criminal act, partly due to the extreme stress the robber puts the victim through. We can inflict the same pain and fear in someone through "fake" acts as we can through real.

    To watch other women and masturbate to that activates the same neurological pathways in your partner as cheating would do. It creates deep pain in women. We have developed through evolution to be afraid of our man, our protector, to look elsewhere. If he is purposely looking for other partners, we and our offspring run the risk of abandonment, be it physical or psychological. It's deeply ingrained in the female psyche, and if you as a man can't accept that, you should consider if a relationship is right for you rather than hurting an innocent person.
     
    King Og of Bashan likes this.
  20. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    Move on then. Having issues with porn it's something cheating is another. She is not trustworthy and I dont think she love you.

    Either way, if the porn was not acceptable for her (which I could understand depending of the context) she should have break up. No cheat.
     

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