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My girl friend has left me, now i'm more determined than ever!!

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by meditatior94, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. meditatior94

    meditatior94 New Fapstronaut

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    For a long time I have known PMO has been a problem in my life and I know that it has been effecting my relationship with LY (I'll refer to my X as LY to keep her anonymous) who was my girl friend up until recently. LY was so supportive throughout out relationship which lasted around one year and a half, she was so kind, loving and caring I wasn't forced to become the man i wanted to be, I was so happy being loved by her. She was my crutch. I had this feeling niggeling inside me for a long time but kept burying my head in the sand as I was enjoying being with her so much.
    During the relationship I would watch porn and wank at least twice a day, morning and night sometimes I'd even fit several times in during the day too. This caused our sex life to be non excitant as I had nothing left in me to give to her. She is so incredibly beautiful and this caused her pain as she doubted that i was attracted to her.

    LY has made it very clear that she doesn't want to see me at all in her life right now. This is very sad as we still have so much love for one another. LY sent me a letter explaining that she felt like i was using her as a crutch and how exhausting that was for her. I full acknowledge this as true. There is some hope however and within the letter it is mentioned that possibly we will be very good friends and even partners again in the distant future if i do the work i need to do.

    I am committing to No PMO and I'm now on day 5, I have also stopped drinking and hope to make lots of other major changes in my life in the coming weeks and months.

    As breaking up with LY is the saddest thing in my life right now and the urge to contact her is so large, I feel at peace with the knowledge that over time I'll be stronger and more able to be a partner to a woman of such strength too. I do also hope that that woman will be LY!!


    I have updated my counter but it is still showing my 11 days instead of 5
     
    Deleted Account and Lonewolfpt like this.
  2. Lonewolfpt

    Lonewolfpt Fapstronaut

    Totally me in some aspects.

    I am in the same position brother redarding the Love life.

    You gotta be strong. I also feel like PMO destroyed the possibility to fully connect with my ex-GF.

    Were u open with her about PMO?
     
  3. San_Peter

    San_Peter New Fapstronaut

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    I guess I am not the only one. My situation is almost identical to yours, and as I was reading it I felt like I was reading something describing what I went through!

    PMO was one of the main culprits of why I had a hard time attaching to my ex gf the way she deserved. When she found out about my problem it made her feel like she was not enough, and really took a toll on her self esteem. It really hurt her, and makes me feel so guilty and terrible that I could not overcome this horrible addiction before entering the relationship. I did not realize how bad my attachment to PMO was until near the end of my relationship though. By then it was much too late. Obviously there are more factors that lead to the break up, but I would say because of how emotionally numb Porn can make you if your PMO problem is bad enough it can take a serious toll on being able to fully connect with your partner.

    I have been PMO free for 65 days now, and am aiming for 1 year. I have not struggled much after the 2nd week, as my guilt how wrong I did my ex, and motivation to become a much better better man because of it drives me to not EVER even consider PMO as an option again. I hope you both stay strong, and can succeed.

    I one day hope my ex gf can reach out again and see how much I have truly invested in working on myself, and we can start anew. Until then this is a day by day process!
     

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