my Fresh start

everytime i relapsed i regreted it and now i have fetishes which i am disgusted by.

i always justified my addiction with one more relapse. spoiler its never just one more.

this addiction is turning me in to something i refuse to become.

so as of now i am 2 hours in to my journey.

my fetishes such as femdom, hentai made me hate my self and everytime i want to quit i come back to it of my own free will.

i know hating my self will not help and i need to forgive my self but it is hard.

i am doing nofap not for anyone but for my self because i know this is what i want. i want to remove my fetishes as well as porn and fapping from my life.

for too long i allowed this shit to consume me with a cycle of relapse feeling bad and relapsing more but not anymore.

and people who started this journey today i hope we can support each other to beat this addiction.

what i will do is cold showers, video games , eat 3 times a day and exercise.

(sorry for bad english)