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My depression is making me relapse constantly

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Gavalar09, May 4, 2019.

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  1. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

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    Another 2 weeks without porn and my depression has hit its height again today. I relapsed again today, not fully PMO but I've been watching porn on and off all day.
    I cant stop thinking about my ex even though we broke up 2 months ago.
    I don't enjoy anything anymore.
    My PIED is huge and even though I can get an erection with porn I can't with a girl.
    I don't want another relationship and I'm extremely suicidal at the minute.
     
  2. Boi. You know its hard to let go but you must. There is no other way around. If you want to gain freedom and beat your depression then there is no other way around. You must go through thr pain accept reality. Accept who you are. I was in there too. Depression and fapping at once. I understand you. To beat both you need inner peace and accept what ans what isnt part of you. Your addiction isnt you neither is your depression they invaded your mind successful but that doesnt mean that they are a part of you.
     
  3. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

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    I beat PIED with my ex and it was an amazing relationship but she broke it off and now I have noone.
    I just keep relapsing/edging and I know my PIED is back.
    I don't know how to stop.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  4. You know how to stop but you arent ready thats what you think, right ?
     
  5. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

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    I know how to stop but depression gets the better of me.
    I don't think I'll be with another woman again and that my penis won't work.
    And I don't want to be with anyone else because I still love that girl but I know she doesn't love me.
    Loneliness always drives me back to porn because I have noone and its the only thing that currently makes me feel anything.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. I understand that but there is no turning back now! What happend happend. Stop chasing your past. Because in the end you will regret every second you didnt want to start changing
     
  7. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

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    But my PMO is back and I don't want to go through telling a girl all about how my dick doesn't work again.
    And that's if it ever will again.
    It took my 4 months to cure it all last time and now god know how long it will take to cure it this time.
    I know what to do but suicide just looks like my only way to find any sort of peace.
     
  8. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Yeah, music can put you in a different state of mind. Its crazy...
     
  9. No fuck you. You consider suicide instead of honesty ? Get your thoughts straight! Accept that life is hard okay. Life doesnt care how you feel when you are ready or what you want to do! Accept that but try your best! You cant be successful with nofap if you dont cure your depression first trust me. Forget the nofap challenge conenctrate on yourself first. There is no escape that gives you peace. START LOVING YOURSELF OR BECOME THE PERSON YOU CAN LOVE AND RESPECT
     
    Majik and Fenix Rising like this.
  10. Bombadil

    Bombadil Fapstronaut

    Quick question. Is your pmo caused by the depression, or is it possible that it's the other way around? Or a vicious cycle? Just a thought
     
  11. Bombadil

    Bombadil Fapstronaut

    Bit harsh...
     
  12. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Galavar, you aren't a fucking bitch!
    YOU'RE A FUCKING LION! YOU'RE TOUGH! YOU AIN'T WEAK! NOW GET UP!
    GET UP! YOUR GREAT ANCESTORS DIDN'T SACRIFICE SO MUCH TO HAVE YOU BE DEPRESSED AND ADDICTED!
    MY FRIEND, YOU ARE THE SMARTEST SPECIES ON THE PLANET!
    YOU ARE GREAT. REMEMBER, EACH PMO FAIL IS A BATTLE SCAR, AND EACH BATTLE SCAR SHOWS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH!


    LOOK AT THIS LION! LOOK AT HOW MUCH THIS LION HAS BEEN THROUGH! THIS LION IS A WARRIOR! THIS LION IS WHAT IS WITHIN YOU!

    YOU AREN'T A PUSSY! YOU AREN'T GOING DOWN TO A STUPID PMO ADDICTION, YOU'RE WORTHY OF ANYTHING. YOU'RE A FUCKING WARRIOR!

    NOW GET UP!
    GET UP!

    [​IMG]

    DON'T FALL!
    YOUR GORGEOUS FUTURE WIFE IS OUT THERE
    YOU AND YOUR WIFE WILL LIVE THE BEST LIFE EVER

    IM TALKING ABOUT HAVING YOUR OWN PRIVATE JET! GOING ON AMAZING VACATIONS WITH YOUR KIDS...
    DRIVING THE BEST CAR... HAVING THE BEST HOME!
    upload_2019-5-4_12-46-6.jpeg
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    DONT LET THIS ADDICTION TAKE YOU OVER!

    Talk to me if you want bro! Don't let this addiction take you over. You never know, I might visit you in the summer.

    STAY STRONG!
     
  13. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Agree.
     
  14. I suggest seeing a therapist or doctor soon. Plus try to do some aerobic exercise as this lifts the spirits, especially when you get used to doing it.
    And meditation!
    You're going to need to put a little effort in. Just a bit, but tiny steps add up.
    When the little voice tells me 'you're too depressed to act', I simply ask myself if I can stand up, splash my face with cold water and start jogging on the spot. The answer is 'yes, I can'.
     
    Majik and Bombadil like this.
  15. Gavalar09

    Gavalar09 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys.
    It's the starting over that's killed me.
    I had a whole year of no pmo and cured my PMO but now it's all come back full circle.
    The breakup has crippled me and as a result has led me back to not only my depression but to PMO Aswell.
    It's just all come back like before, my dopamine is at its lowest point again and I don't feel joy for anything.
    I know doing nofap again will help.
    But my depression is huge and that what's causing me to come back to this awful addiction.
    Knowing no girl will love me whilst I'm an impotent mess.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  16. You seem to understand your situation rather well.
    So, there is hope, even if you feel down.
     
  17. Yes but sometimes its the right thing
     
  18. No girl will love you if you dont love yourself
     

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