I could really use some comforting thoughts right now. Recently, I have gone through a very difficult time including several relapses and it almost seemed like there was not light at the end of the tunnel. A few of my problems: The relapses deprived me almost completely of any joy and energy I had severe trouble focussing and thus working on my problems mindfully Work is very stressful at the moment and my reduced mental abilities made it even worse I feel like I am running in circles and I'm afraid of losing control again Most of all, though, I think my biggest problem is my conscience. I really want to be morally clean, be a man that is able to be faithful to his wife (though I am single atm), work hard for what is good... But it is hard to concentrate on anything that can strengthen my faith. Whenever I read or hear anything related to being morally clean, fighting immoral desires, not giving in to temptations etc., I cannot help but be reminded how I was turned on by such depraved things. Even worse, I still can be! And also I have failed so many times, even after I realized how bad it was and despite of how hard I tried. I feel like this is too hard a burden to bear. And it robs me of any motiviation to get things done, care for myself and improve my personality. I know there've been times where I was able to cope with that much better. But right now, the feeling is unbearable (not least because of recent relapses, certainly). I would very appreciate to hear how you deal with this. Maybe there are some among you that used to feel the same but managed to get over it. Please help.