My Christian girl

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by wwtl, May 25, 2019.

  1. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Well this story became part of my 30 days success story, was unplanned (by me) and is scattered all over the place in this forum. So it's time for a thread. Short recon:

    1. Start NoPMO.
    2. Get approached by girl in church, suddenly nofap superpowers engage (I never intended this).
    3. We now regularly meet on church activities and worship, it's still pre-dating. No activities outside church.
    3. Over the course of few weeks she gets enthusiastic about me, seeks my vicinity, then becomes shy, then pretends everything is back to normal again.
    4. Lastly she mentions her BF like a dozen times without any apparent reason. I stay fully confident and don't react to it (no reason to).

    Dating in church is banned, so of course I didn't make any advances (beside not masturbating to porn, when I'm at home). I'm playing "church game", which is essentially being there, staying chaste, sing and pray together.

    While people usually create these threads to ask for advice, there is actually nothing to do for me (yet). I also know exactly what is going on with her and I'm fine with any outcome.

    I will use this thread to update and continue the story, when something interesting happens. Feel free to comment on it as you like.
     
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  2. L'empereur

    L'empereur Fapstronaut

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    Interesting story. Indeed. It shows that they are looking for it even in church. No doubt about it. They got no boundaries when it comes to it. Pray by heart and not even allow it to speak about her bf in church. Damn.
     
    wwtl likes this.
  3. ectowarrior

    ectowarrior Fapstronaut

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    Man, this girl wants you. If she speaks about her bf is cuz she wants to see your reaction. Like pre selection. Just keep being nice with her.
     
  4. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    That couldn't be more obvious. This Saturday I dressed up a bit to see her reaction. She was constantly rearranging her hair, while the new girl next to her was behaving normally. I have no problems reading her, but the direct comparison made absolutely apparent, what is going on.

    After mentioning him obviously often, the last thing she did was pointing out her tablet wallpaper showing her kissing him. I'm not kidding. I used to get hurt and jealous by this, but I'm 41 days into a streak, so I'm in full control of myself and can react however I want to (despite the attraction being mutual).

    Despite not dating yet, I innocently broke the touch barrier last Sunday and managed to shuffle her my number by Wednesday, so she has the option to take it out of church at any time. She agreed to teach me a little bit of guitar when meeting next Saturday and is not afraid to touch me doing so.
     
  5. ectowarrior

    ectowarrior Fapstronaut

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    Wow. I think she's trying to test ya. In any weird woman's way haha. But keep meeting her. Be nice and warm. But I recommend you to not be direct. Your know, she have bf, so. Just aim to be her friend only.
     
    wwtl likes this.
  6. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I know this from filthy literature used to read in my dark past like the books by Roosh V. But the Lord turned him into a Christian recently as well.

    As long as we are meeting in church, I can't be direct. I'm fine with that, because my style is being really subtle anyway.
     
  7. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    If she has a boyfriend, of you I wouldn't even get so intimate into her, be wise as "jelousy arouses fury". If she really has a boyfriend and is somehow flirting to you with you wanting to be her boyfriend, maybe when you become her boyfriend she will do the same to you, just saying.

    But of you I wouldn't even tolerate such boyfriend showcasing from her, just telling her if she doesn't have anything else to say or if she's done telling me the romantic drama would be my approach as that's the way I am, but you aren't me though.
     
  8. Branchman

    Branchman Fapstronaut

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    It is an interesting and exciting story.
    How old are you?
    I think Boskiman has reason, in what he says of her way to be with you having a boyfriend, I am of the idea that your partner should be your best friend.
    I recommend you a boook of a priecher called Dante Gebel, it is called "Love in facebook times", I dont know what languages you dominate, but it is in spanish. It talks about being in love with somebody, a little about relationships, but it is nice, just don't forget what Mark 12:30 says.
    I hope the best for you!
     
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  9. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    I'm not thinking that far ahead actually. As I said, we are still in the innocent pre-dating stage. But how she deals with her existing relationship is going to tell me lot. At some point I have to teach her my rather strict principles and I'm not going to endure further "testing" bullshit, that's for sure.

    She wasn't that blunt, she built numerous (unneeded) references into normal conversation. She tried to provoke me but I stayed strictly on topic. He was never the actual topic itself.

    I'm mid/late 30s and I fully agree with that. If we ever go into dating she is going to have to earn her status with me, which might be an entirely new experience for beautiful woman who is used to that men just comply with whatever she wishes for.

    Sadly Spanish isn't part of my repertoire. And you are right, the Lord comes first.
     
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  10. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Time for the first update as promised:
    She seemingly remembered my Saturday appearance, and did put on a wonderful floral dress for Sunday despite colder weather. So far I knew her as the white/light colors top/pants type. (I strongly prefer skirts and dresses, so she pretty much hit home.) After worship we both had a nice time singing songs together with the new girl and there was not a single mention of Mr. BF.
     
  11. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    If she did it once she will do it again when she gets the chance. Do as you may wish though. Just be sure to put and end to "testing" the sooner you can when you see it'll work.

    Keep up the alpha game!
     
    wwtl likes this.
  12. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    There are two ways to view this:

    1. It was a simple provocation/test: Then I passed it by keeping my frame, according to her reaction on the following day.

    2. It was an attempt to shift responsibility for her existing relationship to me. I didn't take the bait and did not comment on it. This is the advantage of having not made an explicit move yet. I have no reason to comment on her situation. I won't start anything until she sorted that out on her own and will not participate in any kind of adultery.

    BTW: It's actually a huge advantage, that there are no text chats or phones involved in the process. The only way to communicate is to wait 3-6 days until we see each other again in person. How it used to be before iPhone ruined everything. ;) I actually like that.

    I wish I could tell this sentence to my self 42 days ago and see his face. :D

    But seriously: While the chemistry matches really well, her views and values still have to mature a bit to meet my standards (Christian, among others). That's something I'm not going to compromise on.
     
  13. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Can't you just talk to her after church?

    Roosh V became christian??!!! Good Lord, who is next? Richard Dawkins? Can you give me details?
     
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  14. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    We talk all the time, when we meet, unless we are singing or praying together. ;)

    Well, the Lord turned Saul. Just look at the master fornicator's latest tweet:

    https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/1132778403000664065

    He now calls his own books "fornication guides" on his website.
     
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  15. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    And Paul.

    I scrolled through his Twitter, it is incredible. Do you know what denomination is he?

    Btw, are you protestant?

    What did you ment by "dating" is banned? How you understand dating?
     
    wwtl likes this.
  16. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Yeah, just look at his new forum rules: https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-73256.html

    Orthodox if I remember correctly.

    Indeed, I recently joined a Baptist parish.

    Our parish rules state clearly, that church is not a dance hall and everything related is banned. But I never intended to pick up women or start a relationship in church. My primary reason for being with a parish is to be close to God and follow His plan.

    I made this thread not to ask for advice, but to tell the story happening despite the odds. Me meeting the Christian girl was an answer to a very specific prayer I spoke almost two years ago when I was still deep in PMO hell and felt desperate and lonely.

    We will most likely spend a lot of innocent time together this year during various activities and get to know each other better in the process. Which is the exact opposite of what I experienced during my heathen "online dating" years. The latter always pointed at a quick path to fornication with no lasting results.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2019
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  17. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I am happy and suprised by Roosh V's change. Yeah, church is obviously not a dance hall or a club.
     
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  18. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Though while his new stance on pre-martial sex conforms with mine, it's entirely unrealistic in the society I live in. Sex before marriage is considered mandatory for marriage where I live.
     
  19. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Another update: Despite still not dating officially I managed to build lots of comfort with her. She is comfortable being alone with me, which happens more often now circumstantially. The concept of "personal space" stopped existing entirely. Also my innocent church game ran smoothly: Just make up an excuse to compare hand sizes, then touch palms just a few seconds longer than needed and watch how she gets electrified... :D

    My new guitar endeavor also helps spending quality time with her. Though since I got into it I'm more interested in guitar than in her. ;) My infatuation toned down as well. (Thank you rebooted dopamine system!)

    Her mother is an entirely different challenge though. See ran some inappropriate son-in-law (beta provider) test routine on me and I did crash and burn, because I completely didn't expect it. Thankfully I still didn't show any intentions, instead I put her daughter into the (still undeclared) friend zone to have full plausible deniability. Considering the environment this was the exact right choice.
     
  20. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    On Saturday she started ghosting me and was seemingly surprised by my reaction: zero attention from my side. ;)

    On Sunday I gained some valuable intel from the parish elder. Turned out, before my time there, she hit on the previous (younger) volunteer I happened to replace and drove him off entirely (he doesn't even show up to worship anymore). So my completely professional behavior paid off big and I successfully averted drama. This is the reason, why you withstand temptation.

    For me it looks like, that there is still a lot of upbringing and correction to be made. Which is what we do in Christian parishes and what I actually volunteered for. :cool:
     

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