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My brain is so broken that I need to quit porn NOW

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by puesnaahloko, Jun 27, 2019.

  1. puesnaahloko

    puesnaahloko Fapstronaut

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    Hi! I'm a 21y/o guy who has been PMOing since I was 14 or something like that for like 1 time per day more or less.
    Well a month ago I had a lot of stress, University exams, being so fu***ng lonely for like 3 years now (didn't fit very well in College), trips on summer with the only friends I have now so I needed to pass those exams, etc....

    So as I felt stressed, I just went to PMO to relax a bit, and heyyy ED guys!!!
    From that day I've been very bad, developed severe HOCD because I couln't get an erection even to any kind of straight porn and from that day I have A LOT of anxiety, and because of that feeling I just lost my sexual & emocional will to be with women, and that increased the anxiety a lot more because I know I'm not gay, but my brain keeps telling me that if you are not into straight porn and you don't have a willing towards women, then you are gay bro! and it's like every time I see a man now I get some anxiety like pfff I don't even know how to explain it guys...
    I know I'm not gay man, but that "chest pain" that I feel every time that I'm thinking about all this thing scares me a lot man and it's like a circle, it never ends and only gets worse.

    So I searched and I found this place, I learned about escalation and desensibilization (I can say that I have experience that, and in a hard way! lesbian, straight, anal, hentai, milf, pov, incest, and more things that I'm not proud to say because they go a lot deeper in this last 3 years that I've been so freacking lonely that I think I have spoken with less that 10 girls in 3 years, and half of them was like for "studiyng reasons") so I want to quit porn so my brain can reboot of almost 8 years of constant dopamine.

    The thing is that as I think I've developed severe HOCD and I have a lot of anxiety because of that, i need to keep saying to myself that I feel aroused by straight porn, and a lot of times I relapse on porn just for the anxiety I have. And then as I have a lot of anxiety and I don't see it as a way to get pleasure (it's like i need to CHECK that this still arouses me) and I have hard times to get a nice erection, that increases the anxiety and again and again and again guys, it's a circle that never ends....
    I don't know what to do anymore...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 6, 2019
    Jwarrior77 and Lovable king like this.
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    - You can set up your day counter here
    - You can find the forum usage guide here
    - Here is we’re you will find a glossary of terms often used in the nofap community. Glossary
    - You can also find a guide to the basics of rebooting here
    - If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

    You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

    You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

    If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.


    And I would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.
    You can also join challenges in the "Events & Challenges" section, to keep yourself motivated and focused.




    You may start by checking the links below:
    Learn more about Rebooting.
    Forum Usage Guide.
    List of Rebooting Ressources.
    Glossary of terms used in NoFap community.





    Best of luck to you in your journey!





    -The Winner
     
  4. puesnaahloko

    puesnaahloko Fapstronaut

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    I'm now witha pshycologist and pfff let's see how is it going, but I don't know man, I just want to live like before, even if I have to be lonely and depressed, but at leats my sexual identity was not in a constant doubt....
     
  5. BudoKai

    BudoKai Fapstronaut

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    hey, the fact that you are here stating your problem and issues with PMO means that you are in the right direction, you are 21, you are still young and have a lot of time to fix your PMO problem, let me tell you, I am in my early 30s and I still struggling with this problem since 15...but I know clearly that I am not gay, and I know I like women, it is just that I need a lot of support and help to avoid PMO
     

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