My boyfriend is on nofap, refuses to sex.

Ummm.... there is a women's sub-forum for the Nofap challenge I believe.

 

You should follow his example. Take the Nofap challenge, check out the women's sub-forum, and get your libido under control!

 

Try to understand him: every time you two have sex, he needs to regenerate himself from it to make himself abstrained from PM stuff and to make it more pleasant for you. That's all because of the hormones. You may say like "he hadn't this problem before", but I think he had. If you had sex more than one time in a day and he masturbated too, he was in real trouble.
Or you could just make shame of him or leave him. Whatever.

 

I think that NoFap has no strict rules at all. It's just the place where people're trying to help eachother. He decided to do this. And I think that was his sacrifice to make your relations clearer, cause', you can believe it or not, he suffers from not having sex with you too. And also I think that he could realise that that load of sexual activity (you and PM) will bring him sexual disorders like the symptoms of "overworking".
Honestly, you should talk to him, as I think. It would be hard and maybe he won't say the actual reason but still it would be better.

 

Yeah, nofap really isn't that into imposing rules. Some people will have sex all of the time while on nofap, others won't have any sex at all. It is a personal decision that each of us make, often with the advice of other people on here. If he has determined that to be mentally or physically healthy he must abstain from sex on certain days, than my advice would be to respect that. I know it isn't easy, (you're talking to a bunch of people with sex related addictions here) but he deserves to not be pressured for sex.

 

Hi Natalie, this is definitely an issue. Mismatching libidos are a problem. My advice to you is you read all about 'Karezza'. This would help prevent him from orgasm but also give you the intimacy you are looking for. He is also allowed to be intimate with you in ways that he doesn't have to get off. My advice is to talk to him about your needs and come to an arrangement that works for both of you.

 

Yeh it's tough for you because he's the one with the problem but at the same time I think it will be very rare to find a guy without this problem, we all grew up with porn and are therefore damaged. Most men don't know this yet. Maybe find other ways to build intimacy together e.g. Massages, baths etc.

 

He is right. Even after sex there is refractory period so we cant cum twice easily. This will kill me .

 

Yeah that sucks and I do not think he should just do NoFap while still having sex. It is just not right towards you to be honest.

You should tell him about your feelings and explain to him that having sex with you is something completely different than masturbation or porn. Otherwise he will loose you at some point since it can't go on forever.

 

Why on earth do you need to do it three times a day?? Careful, if you pressure him to 'perform' all the time, you might lose him. Better to get your own libido under control, and really look forward to the fun times when they come around. Do it for him, do it for yourself, and do it for your relationship. Good luck~~~~~

[Beware the sense of.... entitlement]

 

Many NoFappers consider sex a no-no. Some, differ in opinion, often precisely because they want to separate sex in a healthy relationship from unhealthy PMO by themselves.While all agree that a good relationship is the goal, the two (porn-addiction and healthy sex) cannot be fully separated, one tends to lead to the other. As one is experiencing the one, the other script plays out. Your BF seems to love you so much that he wants to compromise. Hard mode would be better for him, but I think he values the relationship too much to risk losing it. On the other hand, he doesn't want to pollute it with PMO. He wants to clean up his life and keep the relationship with you. Don't take his balancing act for lack of love and start demanding more sex/"proof." Don't pretend the two can be fully separated in his mind. You do have a _choice_ to face it together and help him/you through it. A support group for partners of porn addicts might be good for you. I love that you're searching for answers, though! SUCCESS to both of you!