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My advancement through therapy

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Andrew0268, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. Mar 16, 2015 #1
    Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    I'm lucky enough to be a student at a University that offers free mental health services. A couple months ago I employed them in order to get a handle on this. This was the missing key for me. I had struggled tooth and nail to not PMO for 3 days in a row.

    Since I've been going to therapy (4 times over the span of 10 weeks) I've not had near the struggle I had before. I have days that are rough. I have weeks that are rough. There are times when I slipped up and relapsed. But something changed. Making the move to go to counseling and talk to someone about it helped in so many ways. I got more accomplished in 1 hour of telling my story to someone than in 60 days of nofap by itself.

    It was a monumental help to me in my progress.


    In brief...
    It helped me grow as a person
    I got to see my weak points that I never saw before
    I saw that reasons I was fapping (almost none of which were related to being actually horny)
    I got the weight off of my chest
    I was honest with myself
    I was honest with another person who didn't judge me or change the subject because they thought it was weird
    I got some tools to deal with problems as they arose.
    And so much more.

    I don't feel like I'm ignoring a part of my sexuality anymore because I'm quitting porn. I used to. I feel like I'm outgrowing the need to even want to look at porn. As I'm outgrowing it (I'm not done yet) there is no struggle to not look. It literally isn't on my brain anymore. I don't think about it. I don't have to ignore, fight, or distract myself from urges. I even put the internet back on my ipad. No blockers..... but I am ready to put on the blockers if I go back there even once.

    The inner pain and drive to go look is not completely gone. But the inner pain and drive is no longer in my blind spot. I can see it now. I own it now. I own the pain and the drive to look. So it doesn't cause me to struggle so much.


    I hope all of you who are deeply struggling with this.... especially if you just can't seem to do it.... give counseling, therapy, or whatever a thought. It feel emasculating and embarrassing at first. But, isn't part of being a man mean to do the hard thing? I think it is. This was not something I could do all by myself. I needed to ask for help. And every girl who I've told about this has given me tremendous amounts of respect. It's hard to be vulnerable. But it makes you stronger. I encourage that you consider this route if you are continually struggling. It's worth the embarrassment... you'll get over it.
     
    Andrew0268, Mar 16, 2015
    Andrew0268, Mar 16, 2015
    #1
  2. Mar 16, 2015 #2
    PrevCDM

    PrevCDM Guest

    Fantastic post. Thank you for sharing with us so much.
     
    PrevCDM, Mar 16, 2015
    PrevCDM, Mar 16, 2015
    #2
  3. Mar 16, 2015 #3
    foodman389

    foodman389 Fapstronaut

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    I think telling somebody what you're going through is a tremendous tool to recovery, whether it be therapy, or just a friend or family member. It takes courage if it is someone you are close to, or even anyone for that matter, especially if you have never told anyone before. Letting other people know is kind of a way of committing yourself to the cause if someone else knows about it, you won't want to let them down.

    Great post and thanks for sharing your experience :)
     
    foodman389, Mar 16, 2015
    foodman389, Mar 16, 2015
    #3
  4. Mar 17, 2015 #4
    The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. I saw a therapist once every other week on and off for about three years, and I'm convinced I could not do what I'm doing now if I hadn't done that first.

    Addiction to PMO frequently (but not always) has roots in anxiety, depression, etc., which gives rise to a need for control -- the kind of control we can't ever have in a real relationship with a real person. If we don't address the underlying anxiety (or whatever), it's that much harder to deal with the PMO issues.
     
    The Eleven, Mar 17, 2015
    The Eleven, Mar 17, 2015
    #4

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