Most soul crushing reason to stay on course

That's her fault not yours.

 

If the ED is related to his porn usage, it is his 'fault', as his girlfriend probably didn't force him to watch porn.

Good to at least see you here now. You indeed have a good reason to start your recovery. You do not want it to happen again that way. But you already made the first steps by admitting the problem, coming here and talking to someone about it. It can only get better from here.

 

Of course watching less porn is better than watching more, but the effects can be different for everyone I suppose. There is not too much reliable science on the subject, as the subject is accompanied by a lot of ideology of all kinds (left-wing, right-wing, ...). I usually suggest to mainly listen to yourself and your personal experience, and others' personal experience as long as it sounds like it makes sense to you. Simply speaking about it on this platform may help as well.

 

I don't mean to be argumentative but I believe that is a harmful way to look at it. ED isn't something a person should blame themselves for having. It certainly isn't something someone else should ever blame you for having.

As you note in your follow up comment, the science on PIED is not reliable. Although it may be worth noting that a big part of the reason the science is unreliable is the difficulty of finding a control group of men who are NOT PA.

Personally, I'm morally opposed to P so I don't want to take away a reason to give it up, but the fact is it may or may not actually be the actual cause of someone's ED. And even if it is the cause- you aren't any worse than the rest of us who use P and simply don't have ED for whatever reason.

If an ex is breaking up with you simply because you have ED, that is someone else being callous. Do not guilt trip yourself over it.

 

Eating burgers and pizza every day, drinking 2-3 litres of soda every day will definitely and surely get you to obesity, no matter how much you exercise. And obesity leads to type 2 diabetes. You can't say that someone is at fault for having diabetes, but surely they're responsible for having a lifestyle that leads to diabetes.

I believe it's the same with ED from pornography; how much science do you need to learn about "tolerance" in the reward/motivation brain circuits? It's there already, fully, read Gabor Mate's "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts". He doesn't name it "pornography", but "addictive behaviour". So are people at fault for ED? No, ED (no matter the type of ED*) is a symptom of a lifestyle that one chose to live.

*if you eat a fat-filled diet, you get ED because the fine capillaries in the penis get clogged up; heart surgeons call it "Early Death", because it signals that a heart attack is on the way.

 

You are both right. One shouldn't blame himself for getting ED through PMO , if he didn't knew he would get one that way. Still, it is was him who brought that thing into the relationship with another person, so it is his responsibility and not the other person's.

 

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...egels-while-masturbating.246114/#post-2199843

 

Accepting is the first step before reforming. Without realization there can be no sustainable improvement. So, even if it's a bitter pill to swallow. It's worth it. And if you don't wanna face the truth, you're gonna have a hard time with your reboot.

 

I have two separate responses

First, if you want to know what the mainstream medical/ scientific community has to say about the theory of PIED, it is basically considered not just lacking evidence but closer to having actually been proven wrong. P does NOT cause ED, unless you are so ashamed of yourself for doing it that you have stress-driven ED:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...8/does-pornography-cause-erectile-dysfunction

Now, I get that this is controversial on this site because many people credit their reboots with curing their ED. I don't want to discourage anyone; perhaps this works because the reboot simply increases confidence, decreases shame and stress. Or maybe there is something more to it and mainstream science just hasn't caught up. Believe whatever you want, just don't claim medical science backs it up.

Second point:

For the sake or argument let's assume PIED is real; it's still rude to kick someone when they are down.

With regards to the portion of your comment that is bolded; why not just end the sentence there?

The context is an ex throwing shade directly on the OP's ED, not how he got it.

Are you saying you would break up with someone because they have diabetes? Then call them fat?

How about someone with liver disease, or lung cancer? If they didn't want a divorce they never should have drank or smoked?

 

Add alcohol, working a job you hate, and heavy mobile-phone use (instead of reading) into the mix and you will live a very painful, poor, dull and low quality life (with a low life expectancy too) as long as you continue on that path. In fact, it is impossible losing weight, build muscle, getting trimmed and maintain it as long as you drink only a few units of alcohol per week or more. In fact, your liver, kidneys, and digestive system will be so busy and occupied handling those toxins that almost your entire metabolism will come to a temporary standstill and when it gets going again (after disposing the toxins), it will only do so at half speed for several hours to come.

 

Incredible how Porn can affect relationships. Good luck, you can recover, be confident.