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Month without PMO, pros and cons

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by SomeMan2523, Jan 21, 2017.

  1. SomeMan2523

    SomeMan2523 Fapstronaut

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    Hello, warriors!

    I was putting off this posting this, but finally I decided to share my experiences of having no PMO for a month.
    It's probably gonna be a little too long to read. Also I'm gonna be honest about both pros and cons of being sober. And I think it will involve some psychology points that I've noticed. I also hope to keep my story as a bit of a structure for more clear understanding of the whole picture.
    So, scoop up your patience and let's go.

    First of all, all the cases are different, so I would like to point out my

    Initial Conditions:
    I usually have time to myself only on weekends. Sometimes I was like desperate. Sotimes it wasn't too intense in terms of amount of times I was doing it.

    Type of addiction:

    Sex-chats.
    It is more dangerous because it also involves interpersonal non-sexual engagement and gives you extended sense of reality.

    Now let's go through the standard list of benefits of being PMO free life and see how it worked for me:

    Benefits & what exactly worked for me

    1. Having a great sex again:
    - Yes, it doesn't come back too fast and all in once, but that's a yes.

    2. Increased energy and drive.
    - No. I didn't feel it. I think it relates only to those who's involved into PMO 24/7. I may be corrected here.

    3. You have more time to do awesome things in life.
    - Heck, yes!!! (you just have to know those things that you're gonna do, futher about it)

    4. Decrease in social anxiety, increased confidence and self-esteem.
    - Yes, there's that there. But don't rely on it as if it was like wonder-making remedy for all of your anxieties.

    5. You'll be more social.
    - Probably. But nothing changed for me much. I didn't seek to be more social.

    6. Increased focus and concentration.
    - It's a yes. My mind got more clear. Brain fog went away. I got my will back. But again, no miracles. Just feeling sober. No super-powers.

    7. You'll connect with real women.
    - This is a good topic.. I didn't notice that women started to chase me or so as many say. Maybe appreciation of woman for what she is - got better. So I guess that's true, more connection to women.

    8. Increased will-power.
    - Heck yes!

    I didn't research for lists of benefits much, so I can't tell about other things.
    Overall life got a little empty. Grey. But you kind of like this grey. You like that nothing owes your will and you like being sober. Yes, that's good to have your will back!

    Now some notes that I made for myself based on my experiences (after the month).
    There are some remedies and some points to understand how it is.

    My notes:

    1. It's better to have sex with real woman.
    Yes, it's too low to PMO. Guys, some encouragement. You are males. You are strong and should love yourself and respect yourself. It's too easy to just yank your junk. Don't you wanna play some more difficult games? Don't you wanna challenge yourself to stay sober and live your life as it is with real woman?
    So.. after a month I feel disgust to PMO. And understand that real sex is better. It takes time to get used to it though.

    2. Benefit that I noticed. I stopped observing real woman and fantasizing.

    3. Remedy: Switch your thoughts. I doesn't take much energy. It's not even a fight. Just when you catch yourself fantisizing about something, just switch it. Wanna watch porn, switch to something else. Also if you distract yourself from your problems in life with sexual thoughts, switch from it to something else. Eventually it doesn't help to your problems anyways.

    So, basically run away from thoughts every time they pop up. Every time.
    Don't think like "I shouldn't think of PMO, I shouldn't think of PMO". Don't torture yourself. Just switch and forget. It's difficult at first, but easy later on.

    P.S. No any stuff that comes your way, even some AD outside with girls in lingeries. Nothing. Switch your thoughts.


    4. Remedy 2: Never touch yourself. Under no circumstances!

    5. Remember: you have much more time for doing whatever you want. That's brilliant!

    6. I think PMO makes us give up on real things. When you have anxiety and can't approach a girl, you better get home, think that you're some kind of loser and do your nasty thing. Rather than playing some real-man game and approaching this girl. Think about it. Think how many girls you already have blown? Think about it twice.
    That could be relationship. That could be love. With a girl that has meaning of your life. That dream girl.
    And you're here with dick in your hand. Think about it guys.

    P.S. Same with other dreams and moving in life. How many things could you have done in the meantime to bring yourself up to your dream job, dream place to live, anything! Dreams don't happen overnight. It takes time to go to them. Years. But you waste your time.

    7. That's a personal note. Might relate to some of you. I think when you do PMO you have weak will. You give up every time. It disgusts you but you give in. After that you think about changing your life and think "I can't even quit PMO, how can I change my life, I'm looser, I have weak will". Another reason to prove yourself you're strong - to quite PMO. And then get to changing your life.

    8. Brain fog. Less of it. Not a magic cure, but yes. Less of it.


    Now part where I'm gonna share my thoughts about quitting PMO.

    My thougths:

    Okay, guys. This part is going to be contradictory.
    It's not gonna be encouraging only. That's just my thoughts.

    Many of you speak of internet filters. About other boundaries. About subsitution...
    It's all about how to cut off PMO without putting a handle on your will.

    And they say best remedy is to find substitution and find things to do in your life.
    They also say, if you PMO, you are numb to feelings and other things in life seem to be not interesting. And finding substitution is the harderst part.

    I disagree with all that. At all.

    I think many of you came here first with thoughts I should stop, something goes wrong and I should change my life. Most ask "What's the remedy, what's the remedy???".

    Main question to ask is: Have you decided that you are WILLING to quit PMO yourself once and for all?

    Don't f*cken ask how to put an internet filter untill you don't know if you wanna quit or not. If you don't want - no filters will help you.

    Be honest with yourself.

    So, you got the point, right? Wilingness! And right CONFIDENT answer YES for the major question.


    I think your start shouldn't be like "1. I wanna quit. 2. I look for substitution". This way you simply may not find substitution. Maybe it works for you though. It does, but I think it's counter-productive.

    Substitution and wish to change your life comes first.

    You see, our life is boring at most times. It comes down to many things in life. I was away from home when it gave me strenth to start my sober month. And then I got back home and realized things clearly. You know, I got back into rutine.. Work every day, home.. Nothing exciting in life. I'm an alive man! I need emotions to live. I need changes. PMO gives your excitement. Others go for beer every day and whatever else.
    You are trying to sweeten up your life.
    Trying to quit your habit that replaces your emotions in stuck life is a sick way of trying to quit it. I would even say, in "stuck life" that filler-habit is inevitable.

    So, first I would recommend you to review your life. As Mark Manson says (read that guy, he has lots of good articles! It helped me a lot): most peple think that passion comes first. And then comes the action. But that's not true. Action comes first. Always. And then comes the passion. So, don't wait for motivation to make big things. Start trying what you like, break out of your comfort zone. Try things. If you fail do something, cry, don't be scared to have emotions being real you. And try and try again.

    So that's the point.

    Now, I feel like I said just about any point that I had in my head about PMO free thing.
    It's like ... bla bla bla, you can ask me how to find that way in life, I would say - I'm looking for it myself and not there yet.. also you'd ask how to find strenth to quit your job, find job which you'd like, or do something exiting in life.. That's up to you. It's like about having confidence, will to change your life... Will to do things every day and not be lazy....


    P.S. On unrelated topic. Lately I made a very great achievement in one of my hobbies. It took me years to get there. It wasn't like over-night click and I'm there. It were like years and now I turn around and see like "wow, look who I was and who I became!". It's like I didn't know I could get at that level! Honestly that's what they call happiness. Achievement. Sense of life.

    So, I don't wanna go into details about it, but this is the true alive example for you guys that life can be better and dreams are possible. It's only important to chose your way properly. Get your will back. And f*cking keep the wheel of your life in your hands while you are going THE DIRECTION YOU WANT!

    Good luck to all of you guys!
     
    Maskwa91, Sailor93, im_alive and 2 others like this.
  2. Thank you man! I agree with what you write. The will and decision has to be there, from the inside, otherwise all "i have to stop", "i must force myself to stop", will not work. Thanks for the reminder.
     
    SomeMan2523 likes this.
  3. Amar_Avinash

    Amar_Avinash Fapstronaut

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    I know the feeling, keep going man!
     
    SomeMan2523 likes this.
  4. Great summary of your month. I am on a 9 day streak right now. Taking each day as it comes, knowing each day is a new day and challenges may come.
     
    SomeMan2523 likes this.

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