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Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by Decerebrate, May 6, 2018.
No, but thanks...will look it up.
Day 34. A little more difficult the last 2 days. But a bit less depressed as well. I have nothing else right now. Perhaps later.
Day 35. I should probably write this in the evening, but today is going well so far. Logged 3.4 miles running and 50 pushups. I always feel better with exercise.
Talked on the phone with my heretofore text only accountability partner. I think this will help both of us.
I have come up with an explanation of why exercise is so important for pmo at the biochemical level... Convinces me anyway! It really is, along with diet, the most important defence against pmo for me.
Totally agree. Is the theory dopamine based? I've been reading a lot about that with regard to addiction.
No, well not directly. It is based on the fact that while beta endorphins have a secondary effect across the whole nervous system (like all opiates), dopamine dosnt do this. In fact I don't see dopamine as the villain at all. Quite the opposite.
I am writing a longish thesis on this, that I plan to post around the 100 day mark.
Cool. Can't wait. I don't see any of the neuroreceptors as villains. More like tools to use as we better understand their roles.
Made it through another day. This easier than yesterday.
Today was successful. So busy that I didn't have time to think. There is virtue in hard work. Started the day off with some yoga. Tomorrow should be a run day, meaning that I need to go to bed so that I can get up. I have a couple of accountability partners that are helping a lot. I appreciate my wife's support as well. I don't want to hurt her anymore.
The key to this for me is finding something that I love more than my favorite sin. I have been looking for decades, and think that I may have finally found it.
Good day so far. Ran 3.7 m this morning. Very busy at work. Will be busy all evening.
So healthy to run in the morning. Keeping busy is good but make sure you get some rest too, friend!
Day 11 of monk mode. Tough this morning. Lots of intrusive thoughts.
It has been a difficult morning, but I have had great support.
Pema Chodron speaks of the wild elephant mind, and that we are not sane when we are making these bad decisions. Perhaps a return to some Mindfulness will be helpful. If I can keep the mind calm, focused, and not craving, I can prevail.
I made it through the day. Off to bed.
"The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." H.D. Thoreau
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." H.D. Thoreau
3 am. Here I am, awake. Might be a tough day again.
"If its root remains undamaged and strong, a tree even if cut will grow back. So too, if latent craving is not rooted out, this suffering returns again and again." - I can't remember the reference
Hang in there man. We are here for ya if you wanna talk about it.
Yeah. At least the urges are not continuous. That would drive me mad, I think.
For me things got easier after 3 weeks.
Thanks. So maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.