Molested and raped

The thing that I want the most right now in my life it's to quit this destructive addiction.
For that I'm willing to even say what I haven't been able to say for many years. And I want to take advantage that this is anonymous.
Some one told me that I have to also work on this at the same time if I want to be able to quit my addiction.
I'm 30 years now.
I prostituted my self from the age of 13-15. I was raped several times and sexually molester for a family member.
I struggle believing that was all my foul for putting my self i those situations. But I'm learning that I wasn't because I was basically a kid.
I don't feel attraction for man. But I had homosexual sex.. I done alot of drugs and drank alot of alcohol for years. I went to a rehab and quit drugs and alcohol. But I haven't been able to quit masturbation. Some how I manage to quit hard core porn but sometimes I had watch basically sup porn.
I hate that my flashbacks of been raped are temtetion to masturbate even tho are something I hate. I'm not looking for help in this matter. I just want to say it. And I belive that will help me to quit this last addiction.
I did 12 days and I Relapsed again. Like every time Im feeling horrible but I'm getting up as usual. I just want to make this other time, the time.
There for I have to do something different. This is my different.
I'm telling the world that I have been raped many times. And that I had homosexual sex.

I think that because I was on drugs and was a kid that mess me up in ways that I still trying to undertand.
I don't like mans. I like females. But the memories of those moments being so young, I think are affecting my recovery.

Any ways Thank you for reading