Mixing with the right crowds

ONE of my self-improvements, is looking at spending more time with people that make a positive influence on me. Those that inspire (and can also help me) on making me a person. Motivated and more focused on self-improvements, reaching and achieving goals I’ve set myself to do.

I’m lucky and appreciate that I have friends. But I'll give an example with this one friend I have. He’s been great to me over the years when I’ve been down as well as the good times. In recent times though, whenever I go to see and spend time with him. We’re always at his house, sat in front of his XBox and wasting time watching pointless YouTube videos. Believe you and me, he can sit there for hours on end just doing that.

A lot of the time, I get bored, restless and want to get out there and do things. There’s more to life than a games console and sat in front of your TV. I always end up making some excuse on wanting to leave, and make better use of my spare time.

Whenever I suggest doing something – as in get out somewhere. He’s quick to dismiss my suggestions. Simply because he can’t be bothered, of which he says that he ‘can’t be assed’ in response to some of them. Other times, he says that he’s skint (cashflow problem), which is fair enough. Virtually every time I go out and do things, I invite him along when he’s free. Again, he’s quick to say no. I feel like giving up with him at times.

I don’t want to cut ties with him – because he’s been a great friend to me over the years. But I feel that we’re growing apart now. It’s dawned on me that our outlook in life is now very different. He’s become more of an acquaintance these days than a friend.

To stay on good terms, I’ve decided not to make as much effort for him. Simply because I don’t feel that he’s making a positive influence on me anymore. Maybe it’s down to that I’ve changed and grown up a bit. With the clarity gained from quitting PMO and social media has really helped me put things into perspective.

As well as spending more time and making with effort with those who make me feel good and have a positive influence on me and my life. The ones that do make effort for me in return. The people that really matter. At the other end of the scale, I’ve decided to not make (as much) effort for those who don’t – or cut my ties with them altogether. I don’t need them in my life, nor would they leave a big gap in it.

This is one of the reasons I have been taking up voluntary work. Where I’ll meet new people, that can help and inspire of making a positive influence on me, but also on others. Where I can learn something new. Learn new skills, gain experience and give something back to the community.

With making self-improvements. Has changing your social circle and network of people been one of the changes you decided to make in the process?

 

To be fair to him. He has been down for a while, and doesn't like being out of his comfort zone. He knows that I'm there for him if he needs me and vice versa.