Mindset, Perfectionism, and Procrastination

I've exams coming up in 2 days and I'm wasting time on the internet. Not P but still. Even if you take the internet away from me, I'd find something else to waste time on, anything to distract myself from actually studying. This has been going on all my life. Despite countless failures in the recent past, I'm still essentially a perfectionist. I want everything to go perfectly or else I'd not try at all. This is a dangerous attitude, but one that I haven't really been able to overcome. And because I wasn't regular with my studies all year, there's no way I can do something truly satisfying now. Because I know in the back of my mind, that had I really worked all year, put in consistent efforts, I could've achieved something really good and SATISFYING and heartfelt. But studying right now in the last minute though might help me pass, I'll not get that FEELING of knowing in my heart that I gave it everything I could.
So I distract myself with anything I can get my hands on, internet, movies, Pinterest, WikiHow, 10-12 hour sleep, and hate to acknowledge, even NoFap (I've been spending way too much time here the last two days).
And that's not all. Another root cause of why I procrastinate is that I've a FIXED MINDSET as opposed to a GROWTH MINDSET. I, who have a fixed mindset believe that people are either talented or not, that they're born with traits that make make them smart and successful or not. That people cannot improve overtime with effort and persistence and BECOME smart and successful. And all people with a fixed mindset believe that they're inherently born to succeed. That things will come easy to them. And as soon as they fall short of this expectation, they do things like what I've been doing for the last few years. Not put in any effort at all. And what's the end result? They fail obviously. "But hey, that's because we didn't try. If we'd, we would've succeeded. Because we're born smart and things would come easy to us".
It's really pathetic.
Quite recently I discovered about the growth mindset. To quote from mindsetonline.com
"In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities."
There's actually a lot of research to back this up. Dr. Carol Dweck brought this difference in mindsets to light through her book Mindset, her TED talk, and research.

I'm trying to realise this idea but procrastination has become chronic, a habit for me. So it's difficult but I'm trying.
One thing I'm trying to do is to create everyday routines for different times of the day, say, exercise at 6, eating healthy breakfast at 9, sit in front of a book at these times, you get the idea. I expect these routines to grow into habits, ones that have the power to change my life. This way instead of fighting or resisting to do wrong things, we simply got better things to do, because they've become habits to us.
I plan on reading a few self development books, like The Power Of Habit by Charles Duhigg in the future when I get time. I recently read The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson and that helped me get a little perspective as to how things work.

Sorry for such a long post. Hope you take away something from this.
GOOD LUCK PEOPLE.

 

That SPECIAL SOMETHING. I've been thinking a lot lately, yet I've no clue what it is. I've no idea what I want out of life, what I'm passionate about. Sure I've likes and dislikes. As a kid I wanted to be the best in a lot of things. But as an adult, I realise you've to pick your battles. And I'm still at a loss as to what they're. I just don't feel it in my heart. That passion. That special something.