Met a nice girl, but have a 'problem'..

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by HVL85, May 15, 2019.

  1. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    So I met this girl in a bar, I approached her one time, then talked with her again the next week, asked her FB, got a friend accept. We chatted a little on FB.

    It's been a bunch of days now and I didn't contact her since then. I'm not sure why, but it's as if I'm not interested anymore, while on the other hand I am. And I know she likes me too.

    Might have to do with the fact that I got sort of a erection problem, now I can get it up fully, but during sex it just weakens during penetration. I have not had sex with her btw, this is just from my previous experiences.

    I think I also need P to stay aroused and indeed my brain needs to be rewired.

    The thing is, since she's a bit of a extravert, and I'm more of an introvert, I'm worried she will tell other people when she finds out I have this erection problem and have to use the blue pills for it.

    I might be thinking too far ahead, I mean, we have not even dated yet, but this thing just keeps going through my head and really holds me back. I'm scared the world will get to know my problem. Btw, I've never had a serious relationship in my life (age 34), so it's like my mind thinks a relationship is all and only about sex.

    But to be honest with you, I don't know what else I'm supposed to enjoy or let's say 'do' in a relationship anyway. I know, weird, 34 of age, loser, all that. This is how I genuinely feel.

    I am going to be under treatment for my erection problem but that won't be in until 2 months.

    Suppose I always felt insecure when it came to women. Basically my question is; how will I know if I can trust her with my problem when it's brought up, and should I continue despite all these worries and inexperience of mine?

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Kapusta_ Breath

    Kapusta_ Breath Fapstronaut

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    If she's a mature woman, she'll understand. Only you can gauge her maturity. I'm going through something very similar. Some women I've talked to about it and that took all the pressure off and then I was good to go. Other times, despite my better judgement, less mature women just made it about themselves. This isn't the support system you want in your life.
     
  3. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    Hiya,

    Thanks for replying.

    Meanwhile, a week later she took off with some other guy - I guess she likes many guys - but I still have this immense fear that I will be laughed at when I tell about my 'problem' or worse that other people (read: women) will know about this and laugh at me and the word is spread that I have this problem.

    I can't really seem to help myself think in another way. Everywhere you read and people talk about sex, hell, I even I find it important, so I'm really worried that in early stages of dating or relationship it isn't going to work out. And that other women who might know about my problem will reject me for this on forehand.

    Pretty extreme thinking perhaps, but it is what it is.

    What did you mean, "less mature women made it about themselves"? They said it was 'your' problem?
     
  4. Kapusta_ Breath

    Kapusta_ Breath Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps you need to look for a lady with a few degrees of separation between you and your connections? Tell the next one you are nervous and when you are nervous sometimes equipment doesn't function the way you want. The world has a lot more interesting information in it than you having anxiety - perhaps think of it this way to ease your worry about people talking about you. If you can achieve and maintain an erection when you are alone, you don't need those pills man. Here's a video I stumbled upon the other day which I related to 100%:

    What I meant by "less mature women made it about themselves", is that despite me talking about it, saying it's my problem, that I need to get out of my head, that its happened before with other women and that its something I've struggled with for a long time...they made it out like it was THEIR fault. The furthest thing from the truth. This only made matters worse because on top of all my own internal issues, now I had this feeling of guilt that I've made HER feel bad because of ME and she couldn't just accept that its MY problem and she was NOT THE CAUSE.
     

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