men have it much harder than women!

No man, dont read dating advice, it sucks and most often leads to more rejection.
You'll start approaching woman with a structured mindset that will only serve to bring more superficiality and generalization to your life.

If I were you, I'll just start meeting new people and trying to make girl friends. After you have girl friends, you start meeting a lot of woman and guys as well.

 

Disagree. Check out my post on the SO forum when I asked if women married to pmo addicts would do it again and only one or two said yes the rest were a resounding no. So no the answer is not that if you really like a person a woman will help a man through his pmo addiction. Don’t kid yourself. Smoking does not effect a woman or a relationship in the same way a pmo addiction does. Kick the habit before you even think about dating then be honest about your past.

 

I agree with you in part that making friends is good and I used to feel the same as you do about dating bloggers and for the most part I still do. But Evan Mark Katz is different trust me google him. He gives women hard advice they don’t want to hear but it applies to men too. There is lot of good stuff about chemistry vs compatibility. He went on 100s of online dates before he got married.

 

Google Evan Mark Katz. It’s going to make you mad at first it made me mad too his advice to Alpha women but he’s right.

 

Alpha Woman?
Sorry, but I googled him. And the quote "Understand Men. Find Love." is misandrist, as it generalizes men. Its not different than any other dating book targeted to males instead.

And I must say one true thing that you dont want to hear. Relying in a emotional dating advice from a book is not a sign of being essential to your beliefs or having a strong emotional health. That's not Alpha.
If that helped you, that's ok, but dont stuff other people with these things. They are not a good way for dealing with breakups or heartbreaks. I have a lot of girl friends that as soon as they get frustrated they act extremely harsh with the idea of commiting again. Its all 8 or 80. People dont have calm or patience anymore, and those mindset blogs, magazines, websites just retro-alimentate this intolerant generation.

Vice, Cosmopolitan, any article that starts with "20 things you should..."
This is all fucking us up. Wake. Dont let other people impose things on you, that's the strengh a true mature person (alpha may be / whatever you call) should have.

 

Well clearly you did not read beyond the headlines but that’s okay. Just so you know an alpha female is one that is very successful in business and runs her dating life the same way. She takes control, she sets up dates, she chases men. Except alpha men don’t like that. They want a women who is softer more feminine and he tells alpha women that and boy do they get mad. I’m not changing that’s sexist but he’s right. Of course not all men or all women are the same. BUT there are certainly some generalities among each sex that ring true. He also tells 35 year old average looking women to stop getting angry that men their same age who are 6’ and above don’t want to date them he preaches realism. And changing your strategy if it does not work in dating. He’s backed up by research as well and dude this is not cosmo he’s tough as heck on women.

Of course you should not rely solely on the advice of a blogger. Just like you should not get your news from one network. You should read lots of different sources and analyze them and take something from each. Use your critical thinking skills. I learn something new and see things in different ways daily.

But like I said if what you are doing in dating is working for you all then keep doing it. If it’s not then consider the fact that you might need to make some serious changes in your approach and strategies. That’s going to be uncomfortable I get that but that’s what it takes to effect change. Or you could stick your fingers in your ears and say “nah nah I can’t hear you I am going to do what I want.” Which is what I see a lot of on this forum and yes it’s mostly me men. Read things you disagree with and consider the point of view!

 

Yes!
I say that mostly because there is something in the approach, the essence of what he speaks that I feel that is not totally credible. I watched all of his video and read everything.

What can I say more? I still think this isnt right, Im not in chemistry with what he says.
I can follow all advices I want, do the "research", but in fact I'll end up doing what I do in my own way thats a fact, I cant change that, the more I want to perfect into a relieable social skill...

If I end up reading this I would probably attract people with the same mindset as you, basically because you absorved that info. Its part of you now. And you cant change that, can you? You dont want to, mostly because now thats what you believe in. And people hate to change what they believe in.

 

OKay, first of all, I just realised your age is around 40. I hadn't noticed that earlier, I think.

Maybe in your situation, things work differently. I don't really know.

But you said you rejected 30 women?? You had 30 opportunities! Even if they weren't exactly perfect for you.
You've had women tell you you're handsome, and that's a good sign!

I am 22, and I don't even get to meet any girls, let alone cute or hot ones. A girl I had huge crush on once made fun of me because I was balding.

I think it might be best for you to take whatever you're getting. At least its better than not getting anything at all.

 

That’s exactly what I am saying! Those are some wise words from a 22 year old. I’m also 40 but female. No matter many women do the same thing. It’s not about taking what you can get it’s about being realistic and recognizing as you age that physical looks are not what holds together or makes a good relationship. So sure you get a hottie and then she uses you for your money and you are mad. But if you ask the Long term married what makes the marriage work you are not going to hear looks and I’m willing to bet that most of those 30 other women would not have screwed you over. It’s why 45 year old men go overseas to get a hot 22 year old Asian or Russian bride when an American woman would not even look their way, why do you think that is? When you are 22 you’ve got sometime and maybe you want to chase a dream girl. But as more and more time goes on you need to adjust your method and your standards.

 

Wow you got through his entire page quickly! I wish I could read that fast. But at this point I think our conversation is done. What you are doing is clearly the only way for things to be done. I’m not actually even sure why you are here since you have got the method down pat! Just keep doing what you do. No need to adjust it. But know that no matter how much you relent it women’s behavior is not going to change. The only behavior you can change is your own.

 

I'll find a PDF of the book, read most of it, and then come back to discuss it with you. I'm actually open to see his point of view. But you bring a good dilemma. Should YOU change, or the other person that loves you? I think its both. But in the same way, being someone you're not wont help in dating, there are things you can and you cant do to get a partner. 50% is also their responsability, so when it comes to meeting people, sometimes the best approach is to not rush it at all.

I see a lot of Happy single 70-80 year olds... They had few or some love experiences and they continue to move on. The grass is always greener on the other side, but being happy alone is also a option.

 

It’s not why I think it’s why I know they do. Because they want to date 25 year old hot women who would not give them the time of the day in their home country. But for a woman looking for a visa that 45 year old man has something a 25year old overseas wants but a 25 year old in the US does not a chance at a better life and a K1 visa. And many want a woman who will stay at home, be barefoot and pregnant and listen to them without talking back. Not going to find that here. Then when the women leave them they just can’t figure it out?

 

Okay I have your answer now my apologies I failed to catch your age before. One question I have is what is your target dating range? It usually should be someone within 7-10 years of your age range. So that wouid put you say 46 to 60? Maybe earlier 40s. To women younger than that you are a creepy old man. I’m not saying that to be mean just honest. When I was in my 30s I got a lot of that like why is this old dude emailing me when I said my cap is 40? The women you emailed were they looking for men your age per their profile?

Age aside here’s the bigger problem for you. To women of all ages a man in your age range that has never been married screams to them DANGER run away now. Most would rather have a divorced man. In general the reason is because men that fall into that category have one of the following 1.they have serious commitment issues. 2.they have unrealistic dating expectations and are superfical 3.they suffer from a serious mental health issue or personality disorder. 4. They suffer from some kind of addiction and 5. They have a very serious character flaw. It’s usually a combo of all of these but 3 and 4 are the most common.

So in sum you have a very huge strike against you. None of these things may be true but that’s how you are being perceived by potential partners so you have to recognize that and you do have to change your approach because what you are doing is not working. I was like you I blamed men oh they are all jerks, I can never find a good one. But they are not instead I was picking jerks and dating or chasing men I did not have a chance in heck of a relationship with. I had to realize the only part of that equation that I had any control over was me and my behavior and so I changed it and my dating life got 100 times better.

 

Yes I agree with you...

 

Yes I think

Yes I think meeting women through social situations is always better than online dating. That way both of you can experience the "real" versions of both of you.

As for me, I hope to meet girls who are either friends of friends, or through college and stuff.

I have tried cold approaching girls who I thought were cute too, and it has worked to some extent.

You'll have to be more "high status" I guess to get better quality women. That's usually how it always is.

Like maybe exercise, learn some skills and stuff. Like you mentioned dancing, which is awesome.

 

Coffee shops,
Book stores.
Gym
Comic con

What ever you like women who have the same interest will be present.
I'm not saying stalk every women who enters but they are there

 

I agree look for similar interests.