masturbation kills my life slowly

I found this website by chance , I hope it will be a good chance because my life became so difficult , day after day it being so dark , day after day i decided to stop this disease to overcome me but i lose every time regardless my promises and my future plans which broken down in front of masturbation and porn

I feel that I am a dirty man everyday when i practiced it
after practicing this habit and return to my life and my father mother and my sisters i feel something wrong with me , they did not notice because they trust in me but i am not trust in myself at all especially after doing this dirty habit

my self confidence decreases everyday
my social society increases involuntary

i become getting bad marks in my college although i was a good student before masturbation , i fall twice in my college , my friend surround me become successful persons . i love them but involuntary i saw that they overcome on an enemy which kills my life slowly

i hope here to become a new beginning in my life
to be satisfied about myself and to make my family proud of me
i hope that everyday but i do not take any positive step towards that

i hope to be that a real positive step in my life
thanks

 

nowadays i have exams in my college , masturbation still control my life , last year i fall in my exams year because of PMO . to be honest i have not any plan till this moment
but i am still waiting Ramadan hopefully help me in that

I need your help man too