Masturbating w/o porn to flesh light

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by dirtymoneymike, Mar 15, 2017.

  1. dirtymoneymike

    dirtymoneymike Fapstronaut

    5
    4
    3
    I'm aware that masturbating without porn while rebooting is still not a good idea, but what if you use a flashlight? It's not a hand and it's somewhat the same feel as a vagina. Wouldn't that help the pied in a way?
     
  2. MrGiantAnt

    MrGiantAnt Fapstronaut

    19
    17
    3
    I think it wouldn't help. More edge you give yourself you will fall of the ledge, back into your old ways. Just think of if this way, your not using you hand but the same motion. It's like muscle memory, it will trigger you. It's a slippery slope my bro.
     
    Bryaan and dirtymoneymike like this.
  3. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

    134
    108
    43
    I wish I could say it would be okay but no. It's not.
    The reboot is really a complete rewireing of your brain, and a wether you masturbate by hand or by toy, it's still you with yourself.
    After the reboot I can imagine that you can use a FL, but from what I'd gathered if you do 90 days hardmode, you'd be incredibly sensitive at first.
    Hm, so maybe it's even a good thing then to get "used" again to the sensation.
    I think the reboot also servers as a way to learn control over yourself and your urges. Like, if you did 90 days once, you can do it again.

    Nevermind though, during reboot it's not. No.

    Also, imagine you're masturbating with a FL, what do you think? Hot women? Hot enough to be pornstars maybe? Maybe remembering that one scene... (you get where I'm going with this.)
    I posted a thread called healthy masturbation in wich a doctor suggested that if you masturbate, you are not allowed to "escape" into a fantasy.
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  4. dirtymoneymike

    dirtymoneymike Fapstronaut

    5
    4
    3
    Man 90 days is so hard for me. I'm struggling to just do 30 days. The most I've done is 17 days. Right now I'm on day 10 and those urges are just killing me right now
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  5. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

    134
    108
    43
    I wish I could help you but all I can do is to say stay strong man. Resist. It's totally worth it.

    Bytheby, what I did, I took my FL ( I have one, so I know ... ) and put it in a box and then far away in out basement, so it'd be trouble to get it. ^^
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  6. Cole turkey bro, I know it's not easy but you have to break the chains. Honestly I've thought about buying one before when I thought I had deeath grip but I realized that was just the addict part of my brain trying to fool me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
    Deleted Account and Bryaan like this.
  7. IGY

    IGY Guest

    It helps to see what you are doing! :D
     
    Bryaan and ptrjovskis like this.
  8. ptrjovskis

    ptrjovskis Fapstronaut

    103
    133
    43
    Dad jokes...:D
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  9. joey0411

    joey0411 Fapstronaut

    19
    18
    3
    But you could also stick your FL between something (or put it against a wall). Then there would be no hand involved anymore. And wouldnt watching at my dick instead of having fantasies be ok while masturbating?
    I mean there would not be no hand movement or fantasie anymore.
    Im thinking about trying this: A -no Porn challenge- for 60days with allowing masurbation once a week in the way I described before.
    What do you think?
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  10. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

    134
    108
    43
    Well, stricktly nofap speaking you still trick your brain and masturbate in some way.

    However, I do get your point. I personally intend to finish my 90 day reboot and then slowly, very carefully watching myself, reintroduce masturbation (no porn!).
    Also with a FL, but not from the start.
    I didn't intent to, or even now plan to give up masturbation my whole life. For some this might be the right thing to do but I don't think that is me.
    However, once I did masturbate again I'll carefully have to watch how I react or change.

    The thing is, nofaps ideas work for each person in different ways. Some are okay with once masturbation a week, some maybe even more.
    But, to really have a solid foundation on which to base your oppinion on, you have to go through a lengthy hardmode noPMO (at least 30 days I'd recommend, maybe even more).
    For me, nofap not a dogma or something to life by, but rather a very keen observation on ones behavior on porn and mastubation, and rewiring your brain to do so in a healthy fashion.

    There was a good statement some youtube guy once said.
    For the reboot: What are 30 / 60 / 90 days of your life given in the overall time? How fast does a week usually pass by? From the 20 years you walk this earth, what is one month (...2...3) of that time?
    You get the idea.

    Further notice, I made a posting here to Dr. Glovers (No more Mister Nice Guy) idea of a healthy masturbation.
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/healthy-masturbation.94231/
    TL;DR: Once a week, no stress or unfinished business, just you with yourself, not even escaping into fantasy.

    But! Consider what I wrote before and take it with a grain of salt. As long as you struggle to finish a 30/60/90 day reboot, maybe you still need time and should reboot longer.
     
    Deleted Account, Bryaan and Unas like this.
  11. I don't even have a desire to have fantasies any more, I am hooked to looking at photo's, but how bad is looking at photos, but not porn? maybe I am trying to hard to have a sex free mind. I am not dating right now and would rather not at this time, am I being too hard on my self? I know I am rebooted. I keep trying to reboot when am already. just because I look at pictures I think I am not rebooted.
     
  12. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

    134
    108
    43
    I assume you know it but just to say it anyway, be careful not so substitute with these photos for old habits.
    Apart from that, I know what you mean. I finished my 90 days but Since day 75-ish nothing really changed anymore, however until then changes where huge. I personally think that I am also done with rebooting. I still finished the 90 days ^^
    I think there is such a thing as being too hard on yourself. The thing now that you're done (and me as well) is to find a balance between all the things.
    I have since then looked at erotic images, but from an artistic view (I used to draw stuff and still consider some of that a hobby).
    Also, I (carefully) looked at porn and found that I as well was indifferent to it. Thus I do consider the reboot a success. (Not gonna watch porn now, of course, what once was can happen again).
    So, relax and cut yourself some slack, you've succeded and that is an achievement.
    Just observe yourself not to fall into old paterns again.

    As for masturbation (since you posted in this topic) with or without a fleshlight, I guess you can try it, if you want to. You're not gonna destroy your progress and if you feel it does cause you problems, just stop again. (again, observation on changes is key).


    Of topic, guess I gotta write a success story now... :D
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. the photo's are taking me down a downward spiral I can tell, I might try a flesh light with but no pictures, at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for your advice and thoughts.
     
    staub likes this.
  14. HandsOffDong

    HandsOffDong Guest

    That is just gross. Like flesh light..really? Are you happy sexing a plastic vagina and having to clean it afterwards?

    Just do your 90 days. You won't even want to f&ck a flesh light anymore lol.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

    134
    108
    43
    Eh, to each his own. :p
    As long as people still consider this masturbation (which it is) and treat it as such (which they should) it's just a more pleasurable hand.

    You're right however, finishing the reboot is important.

    Gonna quote you again on this, @yukon, just make sure you're reboot is really done. As you said yourself, you're on a downward spiral from these pictures. That sounds like it might be problematic.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. think I might do this reboot, then if I want to. I really should do 90 days. I got un -rebooted
     
    staub likes this.
  17. I am thinking of doing 90 days, and then trying out if I still want to. but I agree with your earlier post, it would be good to do 90 days .
     
    staub likes this.
  18. Sixzeta

    Sixzeta Fapstronaut

    10
    6
    3

    Don't think it about it like that. Just think about it as one day. For me that really helps. I just make a decision that I won't do it today. One day at a time brother
     
  19. yep, I found it was actually the pictures wanting me to do the death grip and masturbate. daily, with out the pictures, the habit of m drained.
     
  20. Covert

    Covert Fapstronaut

    216
    737
    93
    I think its better not to masturbate during our reboot period without any means for say porn. Its the period you are rewiring your brain and yourself simultaneously for betterment or that you want to achieve through this journey.

    You say yo are struggling here we all are and believe me I know the feeling. All of us know what you are going through because at some stages we all have been there. I don't know your PMO condition but see that you had managed to be PMO free for 17 days and thats not a joke. While you reboot your brain will play in a strange way but thats normal as because through years of constant feeding of porn and masturbation have lead to this, so it will take time there is no magic number for there to reach. Believe me I have tried hard to find that number but I failed repeatedly, numbers mentioned here and there are just averages based on different users opinions and their recovery period. After finding this me myself have become depressed and hopeless but still trying to continue my journey and in this people like you and many out here are helping me.

    I will strongly recommend that NO MASTURBATION during your reboot there is no exception.

    Try to resist you urges, your urges will be high at the beginning but try to devise your thought elsewhere or engage in any type of activities. Try to elaborate yourself here by posting about when your urges are strong and how do you intend to counter it, this will help fellow Fapstronauts here to understand you and accordingly will provide you with solutions. Keep a log of your journey. Another thing don't get obsessed with numbers like 90 days is great but if you face difficulties then break your journey like head for 30 days and when you get there enjoy and celebrate through any means, then head for another 30. This is just my suggestion you don't have to blindly follow this, try to devise your ways by looking upon others, like tailor made because size M in tshirt is fine for me and maybe for you as well but fittings as per our body might be different. So plan accordingly.

    Focus on 17 days that conquered, the rest will be history. Keep Up
     
    staub likes this.

Share This Page