Masturbating, but no real sex?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by RUN-YOU-FOOL, Jun 15, 2018.

  1. RUN-YOU-FOOL

    RUN-YOU-FOOL New Fapstronaut

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    Good day,

    Having enjoyed written pornography and masturbation since the age of 10. However I have never fallen in love with anyone, nor have I ever enjoyed sexual activity as soon as somebody else is involved.
    The stories that arouse me are far from the typical lovemaking.

    I have been with both men and women, although I never actually wanted it, because I thought I had to. I thought one had to engage in sex when in a romantic relationship. I discovered asexuality and found out the term akoisexual which means you get turned on by fantasies, but not by any real sex. I also think my own body in itself strongly turns me off because even in my fantasies, I never participate or am there at all.

    Now however, I am worried that it's my excessive masturbation that lies at the cause of all of this.
    Does anybody have any experience with this? Can porn have caused this?
     
    Connaisseur likes this.
  2. FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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    I really don't know about this but all I can tell you is "Stop porn, stop written porn and stop masturbating". stop feed your fantasy.

    Something I start doing, cause I have recently relapsed, is everytime I want to watch porn or masturbate or just look for a movie with hot girl which is just porn disguised, I tell to myself "I can't do it because I am an addict and I won't be able to control myself". And so far so good, it reduces the urges.

    I realized, just by stoping to feel like "I am stronger than other so I can do nofap and still watch some hot dancing youtube video", I am more focus in the NoFap journey.

    Because the truth is none of us is stronger than our own pulsion so we have to stop to feed it.


    And also, stop believing in science crap, there is no such thing as akoisexual. If you stop pmo for 180 days or maybe less, you'll see than any woman / man that engage sexual intercourse with you will turn you on like crazy
     
    VeganRights likes this.
  3. RUN-YOU-FOOL

    RUN-YOU-FOOL New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for taking your time to write this. I will definitely consider it
     
    VeganRights and FrenchOliver like this.
  4. Daristocratify

    Daristocratify Fapstronaut

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    Psychologically it has direct correlation to your porn usage. While watching porn technically you're the 'observer' who listens/watches a narration of intimacy as visuals. And masturbation is a very emotional affair, masturbating to such a situation creates a strong bond towards your stimulus which in your case must be a specific porn.

    So my guess is that's the only way you are going to get aroused, since you've developed a strong habit of it is by being in that situation(of watching porn), where you are simply the observer, so probably direct association into sexual activities might not interest you right now..

    Nofap is a prescription my friend to such situations, fuck porn, really it's killing your sexuality as much as it is taking away your true identity as a person..

    Be strong and abstain from it, that's the cure..you know you can do it!
     
    Connaisseur, Hitto and RUN-YOU-FOOL like this.
  5. RUN-YOU-FOOL

    RUN-YOU-FOOL New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. I had similar assumptions, but I can't find much on it online so this is great to hear. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this and I will definitely start working on this problem.
     
    Daristocratify likes this.
  6. Alexander79

    Alexander79 Fapstronaut

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    I am really similar to you. I used to read stories and videos and masturbate a lot. I just don't find real life situations sexy enough to get into.

    I have given up porn but I can't stop stroking. I can easily not cum.

    I just can't stop stroking.I think i've programmed my brain that my sexuality = wanking. I hope this can be undone by abstaining
     
  7. tiba

    tiba Fapstronaut

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    Why do you worry? Are you sad about it? Your post didn't sound like that. If you are happy with not having sex with real partners, what's wrong with that? Don't let them tell you how you have to be.
    Abstaining for a longer time reboot might be fine, for you to find out what you really like.
     
  8. Muphy

    Muphy Fapstronaut

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    I am 29 .. watching porn since I was 12 .
    Never new I was addicted .. never heard of nofap.. just going on..
    I tried to stop this and believe me you can hold it for a week.. but when weekend comes .. it's all back and you'll think it's ok to stop for 5 days and I'll watch now and get satisfaction and then from tomorrow onwards I'll try to abstain for two weeks..
    Well tomorrow is Sunday .. you'll watch and fap it again thinking you'll start from Monday..
    In next week you'll do on thursday by accident and then you'll think ooooppss .. ok.now it's done so I'll again start from Monday and the you'll watch and satisfy yourself on Friday Saturday and Sunday.

    Now on Monday you'll think ohh I'll start from 1st of next month it's only 4 days away and swearing this time..

    And it's all going to repeat and I'm next month you'll block some websites .. then stop watching youtube for some time and this sort of things you'll do whole year.

    Trust me.
    I found that two year ago that there is something not proper while having sex with my gf..

    And after that two years i kept giving excuses that I'll stop from today from Monday from next month and many more.

    Now it's been 20 days and I have stopped it all. Nothing at all.. and now I don't imagine sex at my office.. I don't imagine sex in bus... I don't imagine sex while commuting..

    The secret is..
    I started reading a novel. It doesn't give me time to think anything else. I come from office at 5 and get into that novel and I read it till 8 .. have dinner and again back to it.. call my friends on phone for time pass... Then back to novel.. sleep at 1am and wake up at 7 am .. back to novel.. I don't watch TV.. I don't watch movies on laptop.. infact I haven't opened laptop in days.. I read on Kindle so there is no option of just googling stuff and distraction by anything..

    I chose a novel..
    The mistborn triology..
    It has 3 books in series.. and then three more books in series .. and then 2 books as prequel..
    Total 8 books..
    I have reached on 3rd in 20 days..
    By the time I complete 8.. 90 days will be passed..

    Also the book.is great..

    My suggestion: reading is excellent habit. Select some book with long series and get yourself involved into... Also this book has no porn or sex stuff so you'll not reach down your trouser while reading it.

    It helped me a lot and I already see changes in my routine..
    I need less sleep.
    I am attentive at office .. I feel a new energy in myself..

    Try it out.

    I might not have explained in some attractive fashion and with good vocabulary.. but trust me it has helped me ..
    And surely will help.you.


    Plus don't read other people's problem Bec that might excite you..
    Don't visit this website again and again and ready other people's problems..
    Like .. I am not reading your problem Bec that might excite me to do something..
    Just come to your post read suggestion.. post new if needed and log out..
     

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