MASCULINITY IS A LOADED TERM THAT FUCKS EVERYONE

Thankfully this lie has not confronted me a lot in my (admittedly short) lifetime. It is a lie none-the-less.
Good on you for calling it out. Men who embrace authentic masculinity are great .

 

Tell me, would you be more attracted towards girls with a curvy body or just simply, quite feminine? Or would you automatically go up to fat/skinny girls and make friends with them first? I guess most of us would choose the former. That's called the first impression. Masculinity is one of the important factors when it comes to first impressions. Don't get me wrong tho, first impressions aren't everything. But they are something. I would rather have a girlfriend that is average looking and is kind-hearted than a beautiful girlfriend who has a shitty personality. But tell me, how do you know one has a good personality? You mean all good looking people are bad while all average people are good? You never will know until you talk to them, which is exactly the problem that I mentioned earlier, you will only talk to people with good first impressions first.

But I have to agree that some males are taking masculinity wrongly and many are suffering due to this stereotype. That is one problem society has created for itself. And some men with disorders and disabilities are often looked down upon, that I'm very aware. HOWEVER, don't let this stereotype be an excuse for not striving to be a better man. I would like to think that this stereotype is here mainly for men to improve themselves. Like take for example, one man who is rather fat. Wouldn't he want a better body? But what if he thinks that hey, I'm not going to fall for this stereotype and what's the harm in being fat? And with those thoughts, he gives up his training program and proper dieting. Do you think his thoughts are good? I assume not.

So what is the real problem? Is stereotyping of masculinity the real problem? No, I think the real problem is that you're not accepting yourself.
Have you seen how some fat/skinny people can be the best people to hang out with? Do you think it's just because they have friends who accepted them? Or do you think that they just accepted that they are fat/skinny? I think it would be the latter in this case. And by accepting themselves, they work hard to make themselves a better person, so other people's mean comments will never affect them because they know their weaknesses and will never let other people use it. In fact, they will turn their weakness into a strength.

So please, accept yourself and make yourself someone better, don't just complain about all the stereotypes and expect something to change. Remember, the world will not change for you, only you must change for the world.

 

Interesting, but I'm interested to a slim (not really skinny) tomboy girl. It's her personality that I liked. It's kinda something inside her that attarated me from the very 1st day we met. Sadly, she's got lots of male friends as many tomboys do. We went out twice. She liked me too, I knew it. But, at that time she needed to get away from things, she took a course out of town for 3 months. So, I can't see her everyday. Another guy knew it, he followed her to that course and it totally blew my chances with her. The guy is her boyfriend now. I'm still bitter about it.

 

True. ANd it even difines what happiness and confidence are.
We questioned what is meant "to be yourself". How can we be ourself if this manliness discourse said we are not manly enough? Idk. This comparing to others that made us unhappy about ourself and made us having such low esteem.

 

What does that even fucking mean @Rubidium?

 

I guess by authentic I just meant original, unique, down to earth. Masculinity is mostly an inner virtue in my opinion. The people that I know who have authentic masculinity - are very respectable and I think they are pretty cool.