Male seeking an experienced female AP

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Argonaut, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    Hi there,

    I'm seeking the help of a genuine, cis female AP, who'd be interested in mentoring and overseeing my chastity.

    You'll ideally be familiar with the struggles (emotional and physical) and yet will be intent on helping me achieve a real and sustained practice of respectfully obedient male chastity.

    I'm a fit and intelligent guy needing to seriously explore this dynamic with a wise and discerning lady.

    A.
     
  2. cleaningupmyact

    cleaningupmyact Fapstronaut

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    umm...is this even allowed here?
    I find this to be pretty suspect. Why do you need a cis woman?
    and why are you describing yourself as "fit"?

    This has red flags all over it.
     
  3. strongman777

    strongman777 Fapstronaut

    I agree with @cleaningupmyact this sounds super dodgy. Mate if you wanted an AP you would just ask for one, and not specify who they would be and describe yourself as fit or intelligent.

    Also some guys have a chastity fetish - pretty sure that isn't helping you as its causing your resolve to stop PMO to become sexualised in itself.
     
  4. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    Not sure why this has to bother anyone, only me and any mutually responsible adult female who wants to get involved, surely.

    Is it only the females here who are allowed to stipulate the gender of their AP? If so, that would be blatantly sexist.

    If my needs bother you, just look away, don't read the post - it won't kill you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
    need4realchg likes this.
  5. It bothers people, and it shouldn't be surprising for you. Not here.
    Do you want to describe your male problems to a female AP?
    Also, you want an AP on a forum dedicated for addicted people. Your AP will be an addict too. Do you think it would help your potential female AP, a fellow addict, if you were a male - her potential object of addiction?
    By the way, "respectfully obedient male chastity" sounds really, really suspicious. "Obedient"? Come on...

    As someone experienced, who was also tempted to seek female APs, I would suggest seeking a male AP. For your own and other people's good.
     
  6. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    Interesting... Of course if you want to cherry pick phrases and cite them then there are thousands of posts here where the content points to something distinctly other than a purely transcendent pursuit of non-libidinous chastity.

    And what about the gay poster's here; I assume they are interacting daily with same-sex members in pursuit of their own particular outcomes, surely? And they have every right to do so without interference or pseudo-policing from anyone who need not be involved. You'd only be bothered by that if you went and deliberately read their content?

    Thanks for your suggestion, rtff , but I'm a big boy now and will make my own decisions on something so personal and which need not remotely affect you.
     
  7. Just please, be really careful about choosing your way of dealing with the addiciton. You can be a big boy, a professor, a philosopher, but the mechanics of being and addict and healing from this addiction are mostly the same for anyone. I just don't want another person failing here, so no hard feelings.
     
  8. cleaningupmyact

    cleaningupmyact Fapstronaut

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    A gay male would not be describing himself to a potential female AP as "fit, intelligent, respectfully obedient" etc. Clearly there is something else going on here.
     
  9. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    I believe NoFap is non-denominational and not explicitly religious, so there is no judgement here if you have different motives. But would it be fair to assume that your motivation to NoFap is driven primarily by a desire to impress or better respect the opposite gender, rather than an inherent desire to stop your habits for your own sake?
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  10. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    Maybe. Maybe not.

    But then that would be my business, wouldn't it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2019
  11. cleaningupmyact

    cleaningupmyact Fapstronaut

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    this thread is so creepy. Its a shame that NoFap staff allows this kind of behavior.
     
    Robinthehood likes this.
  12. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    The only creepy thing here is the fact that you can't stay away...

    You're practically stalking me.

    Truly creepy!
     
  13. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Your first post did have the whiff of some kind of Dom power thing about it, handing over your chastity so to speak. I don't give two hoots what you do bro, whether you're genuinely here to better yourself or what. But I read what you wrote, and it bothered me too.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 5, 2019
  14. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    If the moderators want to remove the thread, fine. But I've seen nothing in the rules here about not stipulating the preferred gender of an AP.

    Until then, all the personal abuse in the world won't force me. As I said above, just look away; it won't kill you.

    Some very, very, uptight people here, who can't seem to ignore what doesn't please them. I wonder why? So far only 4 people from a membership base of around 400,000 have a problem with this post.

    None of them have been any of the several women who've kindly contacted me to further this choice.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2019
  15. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

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    I laughed so hard when I read the thread title. So thanks for that.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Hello Argo,

    I had to click on this. Lol.
    I’m not a female. Sorry.

    I actually read your request without seeing any sexual overtones.

    I don’t think your request is weird, in fact , to me it has a grandmotherly feel.

    I personally have a preference for women in certain things—- for example:

    My therapists have been mostly female.
    My urologist is female. She did my vasectomy and honesty I regret that in hindsight. I would rather a male.
    My hygienist is female.

    My dentist is male.
    My general practitioner is male.
    My pastor is male.

    Hopefully you see I wish to be very transparent and I would like to ask : why a female ?

    Why older ?


    How much older?


    Would a 70 year old woman wise and wrinkled be what you envisioned?
     
  17. Argonaut

    Argonaut Fapstronaut

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    I know, I know... I've made such a terrible, terrible mistake!

    My thread should have made no reference to my preferred choices and instead I should have been contentedly seeking an AP of the same sex. Then I could have enjoyed sharing intimate insights, confessions, needs, conflicts etc, etc, with another bloke. Yeah... Er, no thanks...

    Thankfully one of the MATURE (terrible!) FEMALE (gasp!) responders to my thread has already proved to be an ideal AP, living in the same city and wanting the same thing. Unthinkable for some of you, clearly. I know a few of you will be so disappointed to imagine me actually getting what I was seeking.

    Yes, I got what I was looking for, so I won't be reviewing the thread anymore. Burn it, delete it, do what you like, and for some of you that clearly means you can now go and try to police and belittle another new member's thread here, somewhere.

    Then you can get back to busily discussing masturbation with each other. Your favourite subject, apparently. What a surprise...
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2019
  18. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    ? Are you responding to the other guys or to me?
     
  19. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
    Staff Member

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    All,

    Please note there is no rules violation for people to find APs that do not match their own gender. One reason may be the person is attracted to those of their own gender and don’t want the temptation. Seeking such an AP is only an issue when the motives are for hooking up, not for recovery.

    Please do not actively gang up on a user who has a different recovery plan than you do.

    On a personal note, I’ve written about this before and I currently believe they should not be your first AP, and it should be done very carefully if at all, but sometimes unique situations occur.
     
    PeterJL, Argonaut and need4realchg like this.
  20. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Sparky,

    Thank you for that clarification.

    I apologize if this off-topic but I'm not sure where else to ask; could you point me to the post where you have written about this before? I am slightly bi-curious, and I am starting to worry about my daughters' habits as well as my own, so the idea of a female AP is intriguing to me. But I would like to hear more from people who have tried it. Quite frankly I am surprised that any women are even willing to do it.
     

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