1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

making some hard decisions after relapse. ... need your help guys! !!!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by iwanttobemyoldselfagain, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. iwanttobemyoldselfagain

    iwanttobemyoldselfagain Fapstronaut

    79
    22
    8
    Okay. . so I relapsed again after aix days, and it was barely for a few seconds, I felt no pleasure, just an endless amount of guilt. I have decided I'm going to have to make some tough decisions to prevent this from happening again:

    》I have two bathrooms at home and the one in my room just heightens my sense of privacy and makes me wanna*MO. I am not going to use that bathroom again.
    》someone please suggest a good website blocker apart from K9 for my phone coz I'm blocking out fanfic websites from my life forever.
    》every morning I will update on nofap and then leave the phone in another room FOR THE ENTIRE DAY, and maybe update once before I sleep.

    This shit in my life has gone on long enough. More than depressed at relapsing I'm angry at the habit and the triggers and myself. I'm removing this from my life completely. No half-baked*decisions anymore. I need your support guys. Please suggest a good website blocker for my phone and also any other methods which have helped you keep your distance from PMO. Thanks.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2014
  2. peregrinnus

    peregrinnus Fapstronaut

    469
    157
    43
    Hey bro,

    I'm pretty new here, and haven't been doing this too long, but just a few things that I'd like to share with you, that will hopefully help:

    Don't hate yourself.
    I really believe in self-compassion, and that when we fail, we shouldn't keep beating ourselves up about it. At that moment it's not something that we really need. What we need is love and care, so that we can be safe, be strong and move forward. It's worked for me in other areas of my life, to come back stronger after failure, and hope it helps you too. Here's a link to a talk on self-compassion:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4

    Have strong reasons, and review them everyday
    When I first started out, I wrote down a list of reasons why I wanted to stop, and I review this list everyday in the morning, just before I sleep, and every time an urge comes on. It's important to keep the goals in mind, and also have strong reasons why you want to do it. Keep it in front of you all the time to make sure that it's always on your mind, so that when urges come, you already have a defense against it.

    Know what success looks like
    At the end of the day, or when I'm losing motivation, I just think about how I would be like when I'm finally free of this addiction. I imagine myself walking down the street, happy, free, clear-minded, at peace with myself, smiling at strangers and having them smile back at me. I imagine all the self-confidence I will get, and all the goodness that will flow through me. The imagination is really the most powerful thing you have, and you can use it for evil by fantasizing about porn and things like that, or you can use it as a powerful weapon for good.

    I also keep a big glass bottle, and everyday I keep away from PMO I fold a star and put it into that jar as a visual reminder. So I think about how great it would feel to see that jar all filled up to the brim, and how amazing that would be.

    Find something else to do with your time
    The best way to stay away is to find something to do that is outdoors, that will get your system pumped, that will get you on your feet, away from your chair or your computer, and that will get you excited. Work out, play sports, take martial arts classes, all these will help you refocus on something new. Set goals for yourself and keep yourself focused to reach them.


    Hope this helps. Stay strong!
     
  3. dextermorgan

    dextermorgan Fapstronaut

    52
    1
    8
    Hey iwant !

    My suggestion would be not to go too hard on yourself. Give yourself time, without getting complacent about it. Everybody relapses. All of us have been there. It is a part of the process. It is good that you are aware of your triggers and want to get rid of them. I don't have any idea about the website blockers on phone, I use one on my lappy, goes with the name 'stayfocusd' (with no "e").
    One of the things that help me, which you might try is to think of the thoughts or conditions that draw you to the triggers. Is it boredom, too much energy, alone time or maybe too much time on hands, some sort of frustration ? Get to the root of the trigger and learn to deal with that. When you do get an urge, try doing something that helps you divert your mind.

    All the best.
    Keep going.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2014
  4. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

    188
    10
    18
    In my opinion, you should treat that "guilt" as encouragement to do better next time. And stop hating yourself as well. Every successful fapstronaut has gone through tons of relapse before he made it to his goal. It's part of the journey when you relapse and you look back and think about what caused you to relapse and how you should avoid it in the future.
     
  5. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

    829
    45
    28
    You must strike a balance between self loathing and self acceptance. Obviously you do not accept your current self. Be wary of thinking relapse is nessasarily "normal". Too much of that thinking will subconciously give your mind permission to relapse.
     

Share This Page