lowest point of my life

Dispute me being in the middle of a career change. Graduating from a specialized school this past March. I have yet to overcome this mentally debilitating problem of pmo'ing I've had for the better part of 13 years. I'm currently 26. This morning was my 3rd relapse in 5 day's. On average this year every two weeks I've relapsed. This morning was particularly worrisome because afterwards I had dreams of me being a child again and loosing talents of which I am far better than average at ex. Driving vehicles. I am also developing an addiction to poppers as I pmo. This has me worried that I could be effecting my brain activity much worse than usual. I have a post in the "Newbies" forum titled "13 years of failure" where there are much more details of my situation. This is truly one of the toughest most challenging times of my life. I took a huge risk going for a new career trying to better myself and I'm really facing the challenges now. I have basically no money to even eat/do laundry. I've overdrawn my accounts just to keep my phone services on because of how vital it is to my new career. I have a passion and love for working out and anyone that knows at least half the facts about exercise knows how important eating is regardless of goals. Again I haven't been able to eat at least half the ways I should be to accomplish my goals this year. I stated in my newbies post that my immediate goal is 91day's I'm sticking to it. I must accomplish this. So I can become what I know I must an know I didn't just waste away my talents and soul in particularly to brain washing/addictive /mind nullifying videos/images on screens with music playing being in a false reality. The feeling of wanting to quit trying of course runs through my thoughts as an option however the feeling to keep trying is overwhelmingly stronger. I must conquer this issue of mine as it is the one last thing from my past aiding in trying to pull me back from flying away to uncharted realms. I will succeed. Nothing nor anyone Will destroy me including myself.

 

I don't alone however I have an agreement that cuts costs for me where im living. There is no *one reason* I can pinpoint as to why besides the initial fact of just being horny having privacy and a negative habbit. Also it might represent some kind of safe haven rather a comfort zone that subconsciously I try to get into when I actually start making great progress. In other words people often get afraid of their own selves when they start fulfilling or beginning to reach there calling/potential and move passed that. I will absolutely succeed. Along the way I will help inspire and teach others both male and female that we have the power within us to overcome literally anything and/or anyone.