Low libido and dont want to hace sex since start of reboot

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Sorry for the shitty link format. But your state of arousal is independent from your wants/desires.

You can be turned on by things that you have NO interest in experiencing sexually and transversely, unaroused by things you passionately want.

If you can, dis uss this with your partner. Ask for patience as you navigate your recovery. Its likely that because you are rewiring your brain, you may come out of this a little different of a person. Both exciting and scary....not knowing who you are without PM.

I believe in you and wish you the best of luck. Communication is a good step, HOWEVER: you need to have a discussion in regards to knowing what she REALLY wants to know in your recovery (like when you slip up, the kind of thoughts you have) and you need to decide for yourself what recovery means and tell her.

Ask for patience, forgiveness, be thankful, try to assure her that shes wanted by you. Start by doing things that show desire in whatever is appropriate for you two. I.e. grab her butt in passing, run your hands on her chest when you kiss her...things that show desire but have no intent on leading to sex. It has worked for me in regards of combating my PIED and loss of erection during sex. See if it could work for you.

Let her know this is a new journey for you. Some things you try may not work. You may relapse. You may be flat lining for an extended period of time.

Believe in yourself. You will get through this.

 

Hello man, I can't believe how similar your story looks to mine. I'm going through the same. I lost libido with my gf even though she is amazing with me. I don't feel like having sex at all with her but I'm attracted to 3 others friends I talk to often. I don't want to cheat on her but is super difficult not to do it.

At the first 2 weeks of starting NoFap I had the best SEX OF MY LIFE, she and I were so happy. But after that I stopped feeling aroused by her.

I was scared and I researched and found that this can happen. That there is a 2 to 6 weeks period where you won't feel anything. Some other people say it's more.
Im in my 48 day now and I'm feeling better, sometimes anxious buy trustful about the process. Quitting porn I realized it's indeed a challenge for me.

Hope this helps, let's keep in contact, send you good enetge on your recovery.

 

Same boat here bro.. Where the fuck did my hornyness go. Is this truly a cause of porn and masturbation? I'm at work like all of these guys are normal and I'm just broken. Then I ask God why me? I am on nofap 1 month, but with bad relapses.

 

Flatline is real tough when you have a gf/wife
Just trying to remember that it took a lot of years to mess up by brain so it will take time to fix it

 

How's it going with you guys.. Did you guys manage to want to have sex with the wife?

 

Just trying not to overthink it
Sometimes you think so much about a negative result that your thoughts make it real

 

The problem is that when you are rebooting you hormones start to stabilize and it takes time. I'm 24 and trust me even me at the begining i lost all my desire for sex. It's part of the process. But i did not have your problem because i did not have a wife/girlfriend so it was total abstinence. It put less stress on the process if you do not have to perform. And remember that pron hyperstimulize your brain so when you get off it is normal to have less desire. Your brain just need time to recover

 

My husband is going through a period in which he has lost sexual desire for me, but he is probably attracted to other women and this is very painful for me My husband has also told me he feels his love for me is ending. He says he has no feeling for nothing. Can it be normal to feel this a few weeks after leaving the PMO?

 

Thank you very much. Your words comfort me. I thought that somehow I was losing my husband and even more because he has been very distant with me. Probably another woman in my situation had already left. But I really love him and I want to have the opportunity for him to recover from all this crap that is the PMO

 

Yeah the flatline can be really harsh, sometimes i would even feel awkward around my own family and have social anxiety when i was around them. So it is a weird phase but it passes with time. You should not take it personnally. The reboot take us through weird phases but it is for the better.

 

congrats bro on your 71 days

 

Hey, my husband is now a bit over one month and the situation is the same... It's really hard for me not to take it personally since I am 3,5 month after birth and gained a lot of weight during pregnancy - 25 kg and first few sex was ok from his side and he assured me he doesn't have problem with it as he knows I will lose it (my sister had the same issue) since I was really sporty before and during pregnancy. I already lost 4 kg. But I have big problem in looking at mirror and not comparing and hating my body and myself that I took guard off. And my husbands porn problems for years added also some insecurity. And now he still sees and compliments other women but is also sad that he can't really enjoy it as he has no desire. And he abstained from p and doesn't want to have sex but when he can't sleep he m 'whithout joy' just so he can fall asleep and I don't know what to think about it... He falls asleep afterwards and that's important also for me, because after work he has to take care of the kid and I can do something for me but I don't know if it won't make the situation longer. He goes to bed at 22-23 and wakes up at 6-7 and when he can't sleep until 00-1 am he m. He also needs a lot of love like cuddling right now. It's not easy for me. But I am still positive because it was his decision to do reboot and he started the subject and asked me for support (he gives me his electronics every evening to hide because it's too tempting for him and it works). I told him that he might have a problem 3 years ago and for 1,5 year the subject was taboo, cause he didn't want to stop and I was to overwhelmed with it.

 

And personally I asked him not to flirt with me and not do things like slapping my butt cause it feels fake and I don't like it as it goes nowhere and gives me fake hope. He actually likes to do it and he also wants to have sex as it was always an important part of the relationship but has no desire. So he actually wants to make reboot just without p, but can't put himself to sex and when he can't sleep, I'm already sleeping and have to sleep as our son doesn't sleep much during the day

 

[QUOTE = "the awakening, post: 2109115, member: 287023"] Sí, la línea plana puede ser muy dura, a veces incluso me siento incómoda con mi propia familia y tengo ansiedad social cuando estaba cerca de ellos. Así que es una fase extraña pero pasa con el tiempo. No debes tomarlo personalmente. El reinicio nos lleva a través de fases extrañas pero es para mejor. [/ QUOTE]
Thank you so much!

 

[QUOTE = "melonka, post: 2109660, miembro: 332387"] Hola, mi esposo ahora tiene poco más de un mes y la situación es la misma ... Es muy difícil para mí no tomarlo personalmente ya que tengo 3 años, 5 meses después del nacimiento y aumenté mucho de peso durante el embarazo: 25 kg y el primer sexo estuvo bien de su lado y me aseguró que no tenía ningún problema, ya que sabe que lo perderé (mi hermana tuvo el mismo problema ) ya que era muy deportiva antes y durante el embarazo. Ya he perdido 4 kg. Pero tengo un gran problema al mirarme en el espejo y no compararme y odiar a mi cuerpo y a mí mismo que me quité la guardia. Y los problemas de porno de mi marido durante años agregaron también cierta inseguridad. Y ahora todavía ve y felicita a otras mujeres, pero también está triste porque no puede disfrutarlo realmente porque no tiene deseos. Y se abstuvo de p y no lo hace. No quiero tener relaciones sexuales, pero cuando no puede dormir, está "sin alegría" solo para poder quedarse dormido y no sé qué pensar ... Se queda dormido después y eso también es importante para mí, porque Después del trabajo, él tiene que cuidar al niño y yo puedo hacer algo por mí, pero no sé si la situación no se alargará. Se va a la cama a las 22-23 y se despierta a las 6-7 y cuando no puede dormir hasta las 00-1 am, m. Él también necesita mucho amor como mimos en este momento. No es facil para mi Pero sigo siendo positivo porque fue su decisión hacer un reinicio y él comenzó el tema y me pidió apoyo (me da sus dispositivos electrónicos todas las noches para esconderse porque es demasiado tentador para él y funciona). Le dije que podría tener un problema hace 3 años y que durante 1,5 año el tema fue tabú, porque no lo tuvo.
What a difficult situation you are living. I can imagine what you are going through. I wish with all my heart that this will happen soon for you. And yes, pornography generates more insecurity, it makes us feel terrible too.