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Looking for some advice

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by fried333, Jun 12, 2017.

  1. Jun 12, 2017 #1
    fried333

    fried333 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I've realized my performance problems may be related to PIED - possibly some PA as well. A couple of weeks ago I gave up PMO, but around the 2 week mark I fooled around with my girlfriend and O'd twice. To work towards fixing the issues do I need to avoid O'ing for a long period of time or do I just need to stop the PMO?

    I really don't feel the cravings to PMO like many folks discuss, which I suppose is an encouraging sign, nor did I feel in the two weeks PMO free that I started to experience the flatline that so many discuss.

    Ultimately I want to fix the problem, and I just wanted to get some input as to what has worked in the past (I understand everyone is different). Namely I wanted to get some thoughts as to if O'ing is counter productive or not (only with my girlfriend, either via oral, hands, or sex).

    Appreciate the help!
     
    fried333, Jun 12, 2017
    fried333, Jun 12, 2017
    #1
  2. Jun 13, 2017 #2
    GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi I'm a SO of a man with PIED in reboot and I've offered this advice a few other times on here so I hope it helps you. The answer to whether or not oing with a committed partner is good or bad during reboot is unique to each person. First the cons. If oing causes you to have thoughts of relapse then don't do it at all, do a hard reboot (no O) for 90 days. If your SO knows of your journey then there are some methods others discuss on here such as tantra. Those did not work for us but do for others. The second con is if it causes insecurity or depression which could cause you to want to relapse. Normally this comes from performance anxiety or those in reboot expecting a change that is not happening yet. The pros are it helps your relationship. Without intimacy relationships often fail. I recommend you tell her of your journey so that she can help you. Asking for no sex at all would require you to be 100% open too and many SOs may not be supportive of that. NoFap is about having great sex so if you can do it and stay on the road go for it. BUT don't use your own hand during sex ever. If you can't O from her you stop and try again another day. Do not MO at all. Be present with her. Do not fantasize or replay porn during sex with her. And do not use sex with her as a pmo replacement.
     
    GG2002, Jun 13, 2017
    GG2002, Jun 13, 2017
    #2
    franco216 likes this.
  3. Jun 13, 2017 #3
    fried333

    fried333 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks - how long has your SO been rebooting? Any progress so far?

    I don't feel that it really increases my chances to relapse - so far it really hasn't been difficult avoiding porn. I'm on the fence about going without any O or whether it is OK to O with her. Ultimately I want to get fixed - if O'ing with her makes things take a little longer, I'm OK with that, because I think it may help our relationship. That said, I am totally for pleasing her in the interim.
     
    fried333, Jun 13, 2017
    fried333, Jun 13, 2017
    #3

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