Long term flatline?

Lurker here, finally signed up and posting. This is a great community with a lot of support.

In cutting back on porn use the last few of years I've been "flat-lining"--no morning wood, my penis is asleep almost all the time. But instead of a couple weeks it's gone on for months and months. And I'm a guy who's had a pretty high sex drive for all of my life (I'm 42 now).

I've made it 90 days PMO free on one occasion and more than 60 days completely off PMO three different times. But when I've fallen off the wagon and watched porn my erection has been rock hard. When I've had sex a handful of times over this same period my erections have been inconsistent, and I've usually been quicker on the trigger than normal--both of which is unlike me.

I had my testosterone and estrogen levels checked, thinking that was an issue. T is normal, even pretty good. My E1 is high, but my E2 is normal, and endocrinologist says E1 isn't the one that does anything, so I should be fine. He thinks it's in my head, except I've never had to "think" about morning wood in the past.

Frankly after about the first five weeks of no activity downstairs I've started wanting to "test" myself either with P or M just to make sure the dang thing is still working. So it's starting to get into my head, but it didn't start that way.

I work out often, I eat well, I've taken about every natural dietary supplement for hormone balance, healthy prostate function, and testosterone production over the last six months. My blood pressure is down, my body fat is lowest since I was an athlete in college, and I'm in otherwise great shape--but my johnson is still in hibernation. It's starting to drive me a little crazy.

Has anyone heard or experienced anything like this? I'm wondering if it's the E1 anyway, but my internet research backs up the doctor's assertion: if T and E2 are in order, I should be fine. Except I'm not (unless I'm watching porn). What gives?

Sorry for the longish post, but like I said this has been getting to me. Thanks in advance for your insight and good luck to everyone on your recovery.

 

Hahaha I was excited when I saw I finally got a reply...and then saw it was a thread hijack. ;-)

I don't quite follow all of your question, but if you've written over 250 messages here I'd think you'd been around a while and would have learned quite a bit on the subject. So I'm inclined to turn around and ask you what do you think yourself?

I will say that my experience of flatline is different from what you describe--it isn't related to "no sexual thoughts and outlets." Classically speaking, flatlining, or diminished sexual urge and response, is what happens when the body is beginning to heal from sexual over-stimulation from use of porn.

I certainly haven't heard/read/seen anything to suggest that THINKING about sex and sexuality is anywhere near the stimulant that watching porn and masturbating to it is. When in recovery obsessing about sex (without watching it) can certainly create stress/anxiety which can in turn lead to consuming porn. But thoughts themselves are just thoughts. They don't undermine your natural healing process and they certainly don't create further damage on their own.

Maybe someone else will see responses to this thread and chime in. But it sounds like you might be over-thinking things. Staying away from the PMO cycle allows the body to heal and thus do what it's designed to do: respond to real-life sexual situations when appropriate.

 

Got it.

In the SLAA school of thought the sexual anorexia you mention is related to being a "love avoidant," which is exactly as it sounds. But you don't just become one by trying to heal from a love or sex addiction; it's the opposite end of the spectrum, and not something that you just come upon accidentally. It's the result of a deep fear of intimacy often stemming from some extremely toxic life experiences.

So I agree that you (or anyone, not just "you") theoretically COULD deliberately push yourself to an extreme position of love / sex avoidance. But as with most extremes, it would require considerable and consistent effort as it runs counter to natural human instinct.

There's plenty written up on it online if you want more answers, and you could go to any open SLAA meeting and ask. Good luck with your recovery, in any case.

 

I'd see a urologist. Something is off.

 

One thing I believe needs to be said here is if you have ED you should see your doctor and probably a urologist. I am a firm believer in porn causing ED yet it is still a good idea to have it checked out. Bad erections usually indicate other medical issues such as heart issues, possibilities diabetes, even depression.

Before I began my reboot I saw a urologist to " check out the plumbing". It was far from pleasant (especially the DRE) and I go back in a few weeks to go over bloodwork. I think a multi part approach to any problem is the best.

 

Thanks for the reply.

I did see a urologist a year ago, thinking the same thing. Test results revealed a high estrogen count, but after months of doing everything under the sun to shed excess estrogen there was no change. Urologist also did the ever-so-pleasant "scope down your d*ck" procedure to check the pipes. Nothing particularly unusual on screen there either. Got recommended to the endocrinologist who did some tests and then said the estrogen reading is false--the hormones that matter are in balance. So back to square one.

I'm going to go back to the doctors to see if my E1 (the one that supposedly doesn't matter) is still rising. I haven't been a heavy or daily user of porn for years, and my symptoms don't seem consistent with PIED. (The equipment worked just fine when I ran a porn test recently.) Nonetheless I'm wondering if P use is related, as I've also been having a lot less sex in recent years. So no more "testing" planned, at least for the full 90 days.

Good luck with your blood work results as well. I'll update this thread as I continue to see the docs and stay away from the PMO cycle.

 

Any prostate issues?

 

I've had the scope, an ultrasound of the boys, a colonoscopy, a swab test where they put the scope down, multiple DREs nothing bothers me anymore lol

 

My prostate I was told lays in a "weird" location making it more prone to infection. Great.

 

Don't you love news like that?

I was told mind is "slightly enlarged" but not anything they were concerned about. I'm considering a second opinion of the whole thing. Not that another equipment inspection is something I look forward to. But getting my d*ck back is highly motivating.

 

Every 3 months my regular doctor gives me a DRE to check for issues. I get at least 1 infection a year. It's very annoying

 

Thanks for the reply, franco, and congrats on your recovery so far. You certainly sound like you're on the right track in terms of looking at the big picture instead of immediate satisfaction. I may have to borrow some of your confidence!

If you at all suspect you have hormone issues my unsolicited advice is to get it checked sooner rather than later. Since I've been on this train for a while I've done a fair amount of research, so I've learned that people with hormone imbalances can have significant symptoms (and repercussions) far beyond a sleeping penis.

I get that your relationship to your sexuality is a work-in-progress. But that's separate from your physiological health, and from my seat that doesn't need to be compromised while you sort things out. My .02 FWIW.

And I think meditation is a great idea. ;-)

 

What a pain in the ass, and I'm not being funny. Is there nothing you can do in terms of diet/lifestyle to help with that?

 

I take Saw Palmetto which helps a little. It's an annoyance. Having a finger shoved up my ass every 3 months is the worst. They did recently find my prostate was very firm on the right side with a defined hard spot which isn't good. I yelped during the DRE (hence they found the hard spot) and again the previous exam was only 3 months back. I just had a PSA so we will what happens.

 

Ugg. Good luck with that man--pulling for you.