Long distance relationship and temptations

Datme · Apr 23, 2018

Hey guys

I have been on NoFap for one month now (woohoo!) and I have noticed incredible benefits but also lots of anxious withdrawal symptoms.

Now one of the benefits is that you get lots of attraction of other women which is great because you get a lot of confidence from it, but I have a girlfriend and she lives in Asia.

Around 30 - 31 days ago I went out with my friends and a girl approached me and she hugged me and tried to flirt with me but I tried to shrug it off a bit and just try to talk casual. These things never happened to me before so I was quite in shock but at the same time it did gave me a good feeling.

I felt attracted to her but not in a loving way but more in a sexual way and we were both drunk. This was a dangerous scenario for me of course but I just remained calm talked normally and she tried to make moves on me but I responded very lightly to it (just smiling).

Then at the end of the night she asked me if I could take her home. Then I really got the sexual feelings but I told her that her friends can take her home. She asked me 4 times and I refused it 4 times.

When I was back home I still felt the strong sexual emotions and I relapsed.

The next morning I felt ashamed of myself even though I didn't do anything wrong and I told my girlfriend everything and she responded very happily that I was so honest about this and that I could resist the temptations.

Now 30 - 31 days in I am feeling these sexual urges again when I see other women on the streets. It's very frustrating and I will never cheat on my girlfriend because I really love her. However these feelings are so freaking annoying.

I will see my girlfriend at the end of June so until then I can release my sexual energy and then I also finished my reboot.

Does anyone maybe have some experience or advice for me on how to deal with these emotions? I don't feel the need to watch P actually it's mostly an urge to have sex and I have it mostly in the morning when I have my morning wood and fantasize about things or when I see attractive women that I get these feelings and fantasies.

CowardlyLion · Apr 23, 2018

First off, I’m incredibly proud of the way you handled that situation. It’s understandable that it caused a relapse, but the fact that you told your girlfriend about it right away is incredibly admirable.
From my understanding, a mans testosterone level peaks in the morning, hence the erections. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for sexual desire. This is why men are normally more hung up on sex (since we have higher testosterone levels) and why a woman’s sexual desires peak at the time of her menstrual cycle that her testosterone levels are highest. The best thing you can do is find a way to push past these biological feelings. As soon as you wake up, jump out of bed and get started with your day. Don’t lay around and let your mind wander. Keep busy. Keep active. Meditate. Do some mindfulness meditation. Avoid the internet or media. Work out a little if that’s something you do. Have your favorite beverage of choice.
Make getting up something worthwhile. These thoughts will come to you. Take note of them, look at them from a distance, and imagine them as a balloon in your head. As they rise up, push them away gently. Recovering isn’t about getting rid of these feelings completely. It’s about noticing them and dealing with them in a safe, healthy way, before moving on with your day.

Datme · Apr 23, 2018

CowardlyLion said: ↑

First off, I’m incredibly proud of the way you handled that situation. It’s understandable that it caused a relapse, but the fact that you told your girlfriend about it right away is incredibly admirable.
From my understanding, a mans testosterone level peaks in the morning, hence the erections. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for sexual desire. This is why men are normally more hung up on sex (since we have higher testosterone levels) and why a woman’s sexual desires peak at the time of her menstrual cycle that her testosterone levels are highest. The best thing you can do is find a way to push past these biological feelings. As soon as you wake up, jump out of bed and get started with your day. Don’t lay around and let your mind wander. Keep busy. Keep active. Meditate. Do some mindfulness meditation. Avoid the internet or media. Work out a little if that’s something you do. Have your favorite beverage of choice.
Make getting up something worthwhile. These thoughts will come to you. Take note of them, look at them from a distance, and imagine them as a balloon in your head. As they rise up, push them away gently. Recovering isn’t about getting rid of these feelings completely. It’s about noticing them and dealing with them in a safe, healthy way, before moving on with your day.
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Thanks for the advice! I do have struggles getting out of bed sometimes so I am going to work on that!

Datme · Apr 24, 2018

GhostWriter said: ↑

Can you elaborate on this?
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Basically at the end of June i've done 3 months of no PMO. After those 3 months I am back with my girlfriend so I just do no PM.

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Long distance relationship and temptations

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