Loneliness worsening my issues

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by a.b.c_starboy, May 22, 2019.

  1. a.b.c_starboy

    a.b.c_starboy Fapstronaut

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    Well, like other fapstronauts I'm struggling to get out of my habits of pmo. But it's a serious hard job for me. Again I feel very lonely at my home so not finding anything to do and all the bad thoughts bothering my mind. I find myself hard to resist porns. But I think loneliness being a reason behind it...
     
    Jake n Bake likes this.
  2. therealthing

    therealthing New Fapstronaut

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    Easier said than done but find something that your passionate about and let it consume your free time. No matter what it is you’ll find yourself thinking less about it. Make plans to complete tasks around the times you usually give in to the urge.
     
    a.b.c_starboy likes this.
  3. Lee741258963

    Lee741258963 Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you may have been quite lonely for some time?
    Porn has the strange ability to make it easy to "mute" lonely feelings, feelings which actually are kinda important.
    What I think I mean by this is that feeling lonely can be a useful feeling because it forces you to do things to stop feeling lonely.

    Now your stopping viewing porn, your suddenly becoming aware of how lonely you have felt for a while,
    maybe try hard to do things that address your loneliness, call people up, do new things etc etc etc

    Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts, I'm not an expert in this, ignore this reply if it's off point!
     
  4. pfb2019

    pfb2019 Fapstronaut

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    Had a huge relapse today...Starting new streak tomorrow. I've tried to attract women in the worst, unsuccesful ways. What happened at age 17....well, that's another matter. So I've spent half my life pursuing women and it became an obsession, and that led to costly mistakes which knocked me down on the ground. Couldn't get up for a long while, but what I learned from, literally, is that my recent obsessions made me so desperate I had to fall hard to finally wake up. I said, man, that was not worth losing money over. It's not that we are dumb or stupid, we just do stupid things. And what did I get out of it. Nothing. The loneliness is still there. There has to be a better way for me. You talk about someone who is a true introvert? That's exactly what I am. Both of my gf's, if you wanna call them that, lasted a total of not even two months....combined!! I still don't have very much confidence when approaching a female..can't even say more than hi, how are you, etc. Yes it's sad, but I need to keep moving and stay busy doing productive things. So my current streak ended at four. Aiming for eight, ten days. But I feel the urges are becoming less and less. Time will tell.
     
  5. bikinhappy

    bikinhappy Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude, have you tried meditation?
    I found that my loneliness is rooted in insecurity.
    In my mediation I found that I never alone.
    I'm good and at peace with my inner myself.
     
    Xhiddy and CH3RRY like this.
  6. a.b.c_starboy

    a.b.c_starboy Fapstronaut

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    Well thanks for your advice dude. But sorry to say I haven't done it yet. Also I have not much idea about it...
     
  7. Ra1

    Ra1 Fapstronaut

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    Try to talk to nofap people it helps
     
    a.b.c_starboy likes this.
  8. bikinhappy

    bikinhappy Fapstronaut

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    a.b.c_starboy likes this.
  9. pfb2019

    pfb2019 Fapstronaut

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    Well, here i am and close to age 50. Life is too short for worrying. I pretty much don't care what people think of me or what I do. But if I don't care and it's getting me nowhere, I need to actually go through the experience of rejection. I just don't know what the hell I am doing, and I need to be bolder, but where and how do I start? This is just my opinion, but church is now where I need to be. Problem is, I've been attending off and on since 2007 and I have now been taking it seriously. There have been good suggestions from those here on NoFap. Everybody's different. Eating better? Doesn't hurt. Exercise? Does not make a bit of difference. It's not even close to improving social skills. And that includes gyms and fitness centers. Hobbies? I have a few. But now is the time to take action. I've started journaling, planning my days and weeks out. Making time for doing dishes, cleaning, keeping appointments, talking more to people. Ah, talking. Tough one indeed. What is the secret to this? I guess everybody's different. But you must love yourself first or you will get nowhere. I have friends who are very similar to me. My goals are much different. I need intimacy first, and if it leads to sex, great. But intimacy matters more. I'm just now opening up to my therapist about PMO and what it's done to me. I'm trying hard to stretch no P to 4 days, then 10. 20 sounds achievable, but beyond that I don't know. Not quite ready to fully commit.
     
  10. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    Make yourself busy. Find some hobbies and spend your time doing that. Boredom can definitely cause loneliness.
    Also, if you think it would help you out, a few of us NoFap users have a new Accountability partner group on Discord (specifically for teens)
    We pretty much just chat and try to motivate each other. If you want to join, I can send you the link
     

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