lol. Is there any woman in this world who is not crazy ? I laughed at your last post. Liina.... if you are monitoring him, and he knows it—- what do you think that does to his browsing habits ? Today, I don’t “peek” at women on any computer or tv when I’m with my SO because I am making a decision to protect my eyes from PMO. It has ZERO to do with who my partner is. Are you exerting control by monitoring him —- then complaining you cannot tell if he’s genuine ? I would say this, my parents have been married 40 years. My dad CAN say to his wife , look at that lady over there — Isn’t she ugly/ gorgeous? With his admiration or noticing of the lady , My mom doesn’t dive into depression. She can appreciate the woman or man is or is not beautiful. That’s because her confidence is not based on her husband. Also, consider, I am handsome. But to you, that may not be attractive. Beauty is part of you. So is ugliness. These things are in every human. I have looked at some animals and said “ man that dog is ugly! Why would anyone want it?” And my girlfriend can look at the same ugly puppy and melt. Lol. Each time you compare yourself you are doing the exact same thing porn addicts do when we compare women... it’s a terribly fatal exercise. In the end nobody is good enough. Do you expect to live, exercise or work where nobody will see you, or where your partner will never see pretty women? Wow this statement felt a bit triggering to me when I first read it. I think it was the use of the word “slutty”. I recognized this same word could have caused me to remember all the trauma of having abused myself with this word. So I quickly arrested the thought and focused saying : “I will not let my lust control my brain, and I continue to write you.” That is the kind of process you need to envision to kill this self-inflicted body shaming you have internalized. You are not slutty, dressing slutty, or anything worthy of this. Men have used control to make you feel protected. That’s why you are having such a difficult time flushing your ex’s ideas out of your head. That’s what control does. I would say there are. But all that I have met are ex-porn addicts. They are super vigilant about their words, thoughts, they have a history of having hurt themselves or others and they have made loving themselves and others in a healthy way their top choice. You might find guys who are religious or asexual in a similar way. Overall, beauty is not to be hidden or be ashamed of. Noticing it is natural and to keep flinching at every beautiful person is not sustainable. You will tire yourself out... yes, maybe feel crazy!! Hehe. Hang in there little sis, and keep writing !