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Little Rant

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Matrix Intel, May 12, 2017.

  1. A combination of both, but really doing things myself without having my peers, family and friends, watching me sink or float. This way, it's just me, my and myself.
     
  2. That sounds like peanuts compared to the other stuff that some people do. Don't move away from parents. That story doesn't sound bad to me.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  3. I'd rather dip to another state and make some story up about my past life. That has a much better change of getting a gf than the whole "virgin til 21" story and one-time hitter quiter relationship. Like I've said: When you're dealt shitty cards in life, you got to play dirty to win.
     
  4. Mr.No

    Mr.No Fapstronaut

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    Please you are overreacting. It happened and so what.
    You will need some time to heal but ey man you got 150 days porn free. And some of us can go beyond 30 days. I respect your decision and i am glad you have still faith in humanity. Good luck. If you need help i am here.
     
    Deleted Account and Matrix Intel like this.
  5. ZenPhysics

    ZenPhysics Fapstronaut

    Sometimes we become so thrilled to leave an uncomfortable situation and start fresh, but when given that new platform we're clueless, so we start following the same patterns. So it's good to hear that you've got specific plans.

    Just a personal thought:
    You mentioned that the word "passion" is a pussy word(I don't know why but that made me laugh, in an innocent way). There were times I looked down on the concept of "living your life to the fullest" too, but as for now, I'd rather be labelled a pussy by the cynics than going back to that state of nihilism. I also believe that being (ignorantly) passionate about something helps create your own isolated world without having to physically seclude yourself from others.

    I don't really know why I'm writing this anymore :)
    Just let us know how your life goes in the future man, hope the best for you :)
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  6. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I don't think lying is a good idea. You are going to outrun shame by adding lies to your life? You hope to meet a good girl by fabricating a life? If you do happen to entrap, and it would be, a good girl she may not be too happy if she ever finds out the truth.

    I don't know the details of your life but it is most likely, even if you got dealt a hard hand, that someone has had a worse hand. The people who impress me most aren't the people who had bad luck and did bad. It's also not the people who had good luck and did good. It is the people who had bad luck and did good. They aren't always people who you hear about because of great success. They are often everyday people living a good, honest life making the world a better place in whatever small way they can.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  7. I did what you are planning to do a couple of years ago: I moved away from my friends and family because I did not want to go on as I used to (in my case it was more about problems with the so called "friends"). Was it a good decision? Yes and no.
    I thought that it is easier to find new friends. Or a new clique for that matter. But no new ties can match up to those you had your whole life.
    It mostly depends on your personality and if you want to find new friends. I would recommend you to not move away too far - some ties to your old life can be very helpful from time to time.
    The positive is, that I had a lot of time to work on my personality and on my self in general. I was able to focus on myself, and therefore I can say e.g. that I was never in a better physical shape than I am now, and also psychological I'd say I learned a lot.
    But since I had a 10 year plan (with 6 of those 10 years already gone), I am still considering to move back home one day. Because as I said before: it did not really turn out the way I thought it would. And I guess it never does.
    I hope you will find what you are looking for, and I wish you all the best.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  8. Even if you are not where you want to be right now, the environment is still very helpful for your success though. Right?
     
  9. Did you attempt to meet new people and women, or did you just focus on self improvement?
     
  10. The only way she'd really find out the truth is if I said something, which will never happen, or B, move back to my family and they spill the beans. Therefore, I must drop them completely.
     
  11. I tried to meet new people (and I actually did meet some), but I think age is a factor to be taken into consideration: when I moved I was 30 years old, and even if this might sound wrong, I still think that your age is an advantage. Because when I look at the people I get along with, almost all of them have families (married with kids) - so it is not too easy for me to hang out with them or go partying. That is why I focused on self improvement.
    And coming back to your other question: yes, I do think that my new environment is more helpful for my success than my old was.
    So moving can be a good decision, but you have to be aware of the fact, that it does not automatically solve all problems. It might solve some, but others will appear.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  12. You didn't come across any single people, men or women?
     
  13. Sure I did. But I think it is way easier to meet people when you are already part of a social circle, and unfortunately (?) I can not say that I am right now.
    But I am definitely not the best example/role model for this.
    And to meet new people does not necessarily mean, that something has to happen. You have to be able to anticipate the right situations with the right people - the more people you meet, the bigger the chances that something comes out of it.
    Right now I am in a state where I do not mind anymore. I stopped going out (because I stopped drinking alcohol almost entirely) and I stopped caring. If I stay alone for all eternity - so may it be :) This might sound desperate or depressive, but I am not at all. I just try to accept that it is the way it is (and my situation is not really as bad as it might sound right now - but I had a lot more friends back home, and nothing comes close to the bonds I had with people with who I grew up. I still do get in contact with people: work, college, sport - but new friendships? Only a few).
    Maybe you have to see it this way: imagine the worst possible scenario when you move (e.g. after two years you realize that you do not really have any new friends, no girlfriend, your job/university/college/whatever sucks, you do not like your apartment,...) and from this imagined low point on you can ask yourself: if this would happen, how would I deal with it? Would I be able to deal with it?
    In the end no one (not even you) can predict what will happen - but I think it is important to be prepared the best possible way, because it will probably not turn out the way you think it will (good things and bad things included).
    Still, if you would ask me if my decision was a good decision, I'd say (despite all the negative things): yes. Because I achieved a lot in the last 6 years. And I still think that it is possible to improve on so many other levels. And I guess maybe this is what life is about: find your flaws and improve. Constantly change for the better.
    Whatever you will decide, I hope you will find your way.
     

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