Because this is important... Yesterday, on behalf of a dear friend who shall remain nameless, I did some research for her on various places her addicted Partner ventured into. I forewarn you, as addicts, we've ALL ventured into cyberspace that reveals some very fucked up shit. I mean seriously fucked up. And here are some examples (and it doesn't begin to touch the surface). FORWARNING ***THIS STUFF IS EXTREMELY HARD TO STOMACH***: Spoiler: EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING Femdom Cuckold (watching your spouse engage in sex, and even participating at a bisexual level Girls engaging in Ass-to-Mouth sex where the man withdraws his penis from her anus and immediately sticks it into her mouth (sometimes with feces on it) Anal Prolapse where someone, male or female, pushes their anal cavity out externally exposing what is commonly referred to as the "rose" and engaging in orally stimulating it Blowjobs to a horse/pony and/or engaging in intercourse with a dog Scat where both men and women engage in sexual activity such that feces is spread about one participant or another or both, including their mouth Deep colon penetration fishing long objects, sometimes as long as your arm, up into the anal cavity, and beyond into the lower and traverse colons. Extreme fisting, both vaginal and anal, sometimes up to the elbow or shoulders, in an attempt to have the femdom recipient attain a massive dopamine driven orgasm Being urinated on and drinking urine Enema "punishment" as they call it where the rectum is filled with fluid and subsequently expelled after the recipient cannot withhold any more fluid Eating food such as cereal and milk out of another one's gaping anus Transexuals engaging in sexual liaisons with both Men and Women Bukake (aka Bukkake) where women have multiple men ejaculate all over them Child Sexual Abuse Imagery (aka Child Pornography) where prepubescent children engaged in any manner of sexual exploitation by other prepubescent children or adults. If you ventured into the EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING above, you'll see that what I am talking about is some pretty radical shit. And the reason I use the term "radical" instead of "disgusting", is this is some extremely embarrassing, guilt ridden, shaming activities your Partner has engaged in. I have known men who admitted to these activities and more, and while doing so, cried uncontrollably, literally shaken to the very core, beating themselves up and asking "why was I even interested in going there? WTF is wrong with me? Here's what you need to know about it. If you want to see the depth at which this stuff affects the addict. You needn't shame them for doing it. Trust me, they have enough of that to last a lifetime. It has very deadly consequences. I repeat, it has very deadly consequences. The addict's "Rock Bottom" is when he/she realizes there is nowhere to go but UP. When they are caught with these types of behaviors, panic sets in because even UP isn't an option from their perspective anymore. The part of their brain that engages this predicament is the fight, flight, or freeze part of the mid brain or lizard brain as it were. If you are very fortunate, he'll freeze. Fight usually comes in the form of extreme Gaslighting and can even evolve into much worse verbal and physical violence depending on the state of mind. Flight usually comes in the form of disappearing to such a state where it becomes virtually impossible to reach them, let alone help them. If you want to see the depths of despair, one need not look any further than the "Problematic Sexual Behaviors" Forum. I try to help these people as much as possible because I have witnessed first hand the painful trauma these people have endured. It is a very troubling place for these people to be, and it is a most difficult path, much more than simple pornography would reveal, to get beyond. Also, you need to understand that just because they looked at this material, doesn't necessarily mean they will engage in any of it, and most likely won't. It's their addictive brain taking them to places they would never otherwise ordinarily go. As an example, if you ever watched one of the ISIS beheadings that occurred in the past decade, it doesn't mean you have a propensity to either continue watching them or engage in any of them. I know one man who was preoccupied with watching traumatic videos of people suffering from catastrophic events (i.e. a leg blown off by an IED for example). He didn't know why he kept being attracted to those videos. He just did. It also didn't mean that he was going to go out and participate in any of it. So before you go down this path "OMG, my Partner looked at...", just remember, most people ventured down some path they aren't proud of and have watched something at one time or another, and never had any interest in acting on it. Just remember, watching material of this nature is less about an interest in the sexual activity they are watching, but the perceived necessity of getting the dopamine they so crave. If it was watching kittens play that resulted in them getting that dopamine fix, I assure you, they'd be watching kittens play instead. The addict is the one that has to accept their condition and own it. Until they do, there isn't anything you can do to help them. Do understand however, you needn't do anything to them because anything you do cannot possibly be any worse than what they have already done or are doing to themselves. No, you don't coddle them. You don't enable them. You don't get mean and nasty and ugly toward them. They're sick, remember? Freeze is a good state for them to be in so that they can absorb and reflect on the ramifications of their behaviors and actions. If/when they are ready to confront it, they will. Anyway, all comments are most welcome. I would appreciate it if you limited your feedback to positive actions/reactions. These people need help. Not ridicule. Not judgment. Help!