Lifelong battle with OCD, anxiety and mild depression

I think watching P activates the brain part responsible for addiction, and even if you don't M, you get anxious after because you haven't satisfied that urge.

From what I see, even after a long time of quitting PMO, watching P would put you in a state of anxiety for days after... sad, but a good reminder to never watch it again.

 

Absolutely, do not give in!

 

Well I have almost 2 weeks since my last ejaculation and the anxiety has been so annoying that I hate myself for jerking off two weeks ago, I WILL NEVER TOUCH MY DICK EVER EVER EVER AGAIN.

Fapping makes me a pathetic, weak, scared little pussy. Ejaculating in general, actually. I will keep it in FOREVER

 

It's not social anxiety, it's just anxiety. I used to have social anxiety really bad too though, but I'm in sales so I overcame it and am super social now.

The anxiety in the past two weeks has been very bad and it was due to ejaculating 3 times in a 4 day span and playing fifa online which raised my blood pressure and made even more anxious (stupid game lol).

Also, my OCD spiked and is there with me constantly. Just waiting for it to diminish and will never fap again, forget that.

 

Had sex with my gf today and I couldn't hold it in, it's tricky sometimes. I talked about everything to her after, my anxiety, doing nofap, everything. She understood and is cool with it all. I'm very blessed to have her.

The moral of the story is: talk to someone when you're goig through something. Don't hold it in.

 

Quick update: still have days when anxiety and OCD are sky high. I have years of masturbation and porn use so it does NOT take 90 days for a full reboot. It does not take 6 months or a year, it takes way longer to come to the superpowers. I do make the mistake, when I have a good day, of thinking it'll be like this from now on, only to fall back into the anxiety trap after. It is so frustrating since I am not watching porn (since December 2015) and not masturbating, but I feel the same way as I did when I was.

Am I the only one like this?

 

Update: more calm and balanced today. I did this cycle more than 5 times and it is always the same:

- I have sex with ejaculation.

Days 1-2 after: low energy, tired.
Days 3-10: EXTREMELY high anxiety, OCD,
Days 11-14 calimg down, feeling at peace
Days 15-on: high energy, joyful, bliss.

 

Interesting update: even just looking at a couple of gifs or just 5 seconds of porn will fuck you up! I didn’t even touch myself, just watched 10 seconds of porn and boom sky high anxiety the next day. Fuck.... can’t even peak at some porn, 2 years after I quit watching it every day...

 

i know what you mean, i went 60 days no o. and couldn't hold it in anymore,,,i absolutely had to o. and did and kinda regret doing it--i was wayyyy more calm before the o., i hope to get the peace and calm back but i totally get that when you come, you go--its the only way to stay strong,,,don't fall for the big o.

 

Hey guys i’m back here to provide an update. It’s been 3 years that I have discovered NoFap and started getting out of the hole that I was in mentally and physically, in spite of all the great things I had in my life. For the past 3 years I have experimented numerous times what P, M and O do to me so i will briefly go over them:
- P just messes my brain up completely, I have a huge high while watching it, followed by a month of pure hell: anxiety etc etc
- M does the same thing to me, on a less intense level
- O suprisingly, I thought would be ok if it is from having sex with my gf, however for me it is not. After O’ing from sex, I feel insecure, shaky voice, less of a man, fragile, like a weak bitch basically. This is not just in my head, I have been experimenting this for the past 3 years and it is always the same.

My gf has been gone on vaca for a month and I haven’t ejaculated in about 6 weeks. I feel like Zeus. After she’s back I will keep having sex and orgasming without ejculating, I have recently discovered how to do it and I love it. Super intense pleasure without the down effects the next days/weeks.

Cheers!

 

Very informative posts, thanks. Are you referring to karezza sex?

 

Yes. Not necessarily super slow and smooth, just when I feel close to O I slow it down and let it oass and then get back at it and eventually you feel orgasms without ejaculating, very similar in sensation though. So similar that sometimes you look at your penis to make sure nothing came out lol.

 

I agree 110% with this. Tried it many times and every time it's the same result. Porn and well-being are mutually exclusive.

 

Dude i am so happy today and the urge to put some porn on is sky high. Howveer ai remember that shitty feeling after that LASTS FOR WEEKS so fuck it. Not gonna happen. Fuck you porn