Letters to Cake; she's in a crisis

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Nov 11, 2018.

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  1. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    I will now demonstrate that it works quite well for it's intended purpose. Bye GW. :)
     
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  2. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Ghostwriter/Lavrans/The Black Dog,

    I spent a good portion of tonight sobbing because you (all?) have done nothing short of inhumane psychological torture. I even went as far as to submit deletion of my account, which added to the overwhelming sense of loss & sadness. You see, I almost let whatever games you (all?) are playing drag me down into nothingness; willing to throw away months of my documented hard work towards growth & freedom away, because for a brief moment I forgot just how far I've come as a victim of psychological, emotional, & sexual abuse.

    Thank God that vulnerable feeling was fleeting & I remembered you (all?) are actually the really fucked up ones, not I.

    You have put a mother & her 2 children in immediate danger. It was done with the sole intent to be malicious & scare me.

    I do hope mods are reading this. You claim I got weird over xmas when in reality, it was you (all?) that got weird & even stretched as far into calling my personal # because you (all?) are psychopathic sex addicts preying on a betrayed woman with children. I, & others, know the full story & what's REALLY been going on.

    You (all?) are lonely, miserable, jealous, unhappy, psychotic pieces of shit that fucked with the wrong girl.

    Once again, I am done with manipulation, scare tactics, lies, control, gaslighting, etc etc etc....You, my friend (s?) are the one (s?) that need the help. To outright lie & paint a wounded woman in a light that is completely untrue, speaks volumes. Not only that, but maliciously put her & her children in harm's way.

    You (all?) are fucking scared & desperate because you know I've caught on.
    Say I'm crazy, use my trauma & abuse against me, but remember....I'm not the only one that has seen what's REALLY gone on behind the scenes. I can show, if you'd like, but I'm pretty sure you (all?) don't want that coming out, because people might actually start believing you (all?) are psychopaths that are in desperate need of help.

    Good try, though...you almost succeeded.

    Now, I will ask for the last time, that you (all?) leave me the fuck alone. You cannot break me & your obsession is fucking unreal & creepy. YOU need the help, not I. Don't you ever try & scare me off a place I find comfort in again, just because you are a miserable piece of addicted shit that can't get Cake to want anything to do with you. Jesus fuck, leave me alone.
     
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  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Wow, @cakeinacrisis I'm sorry to hear that you are being harangued here. Like @TryingHard2Change I have found your posts useful and moving and it's wrong to think that you might leave for any other reason than your life moving on to a better place.

    I don't want to suggest the obvious, but have you tried blocking the people whose posts drag you down? There's an 'ignore' link on people's profile fly-out. When you ignore someone you do not see their posts in a thread, you do not see them quoted in other messages, and they cannot message you. That might help.

    (Sorry @Strength And Light, I missed your post along similar lines.)
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2019
  4. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Then don't tag me and keep me out of it. You say "...leave me the fuck alone...", yet you turn around and tag me. Just as I have respected your request from December 30th, please respect mine as well.
    And I am so sorry you are going through this personal hell. I truly am.
    Well good. Then show it. Show me what you have that connects ME to this conspiracy of yours. You can't because there is nothing that connects me to any of it. Nothing! I'm not a party to it and never was.

    Again, I am so sorry that you have concluded that I am a participant in this conspiracy to resort to such desperate measures. I am so sorry that someone has traumatized you to the point you have called me and others out on it. But you don't go around accusing innocent people, the least of all, me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I will not stand for it and I will defend myself, for I'll be damned. I am not going to tolerate it. And no, you shouldn't tolerate being abused and must protect yourself. I so hope you find out who it is. I so hope you find closure on it. And I so hope you find healing. But it is NOT me.
     
  5. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    FYI, I never report stuff to the Moderation Team because we have this love/hate relationship. But for what it is worth, I took the liberty of reporting this one. Here is what I had to say word for word:

    "...OK Moderation Team, I've had just about enough of this nonsense. I have little doubt that she is somehow being traumatized by someone here on this website. I just know it wasn't/isn't me. I'm really growing sick and tired of being dragged into it. I'm sick and tired of the false accusations against me. I have tried to gracefully ignore it and her. But she continues. Please put a stop to it. I hope she figures out who it is. And I also hope they get busted and banned for it. Furthermore, I hope she can heal from it because this type of behavior only adds insult to injury of a Partner that has been betrayed. If you want/need anything from me, just ask, and I'll provide you whatever you need. I just want whosoever is doing this caught and myself exonerated..."

    I wish you all the best and have hopes and prayers that you can somehow find peace where it appears little is to be had.
     
  6. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Hi there ghost.
    I see you still want to twist things to appear as though my trauma is causing me to be crazy. Low. Really really low.

    So! Because this is my journal, I will go round and round all day with you on here, if you'd like. I am not scared of you or my ex & I will not let this 'crazy traumatized spouse' agenda continue. Why don't you write one of your novels & explain some things to me, you know, to help me understand how you think you haven't had a hand in harassing me with mind games & passive aggressive posts & taunts. Hopefully your buddy @The Black Dog will join in :)

    Explain to me why you would send some "random" (I put random in quotes, because you & I both know this was a setup) person to private message me to check your "authenticity". Did you send this user to anyone else to check your "authenticity", or just me? Hell, why don't you just show us all those messages between you & the dog account prior to you sending him to me to check your "authenticity" & the messages between you & him after I got weirded out by the whole situation & told both of you to leave me alone.

    Also, explain to me why you felt the need to make a thread about me after you & this other user creeped me the hell out & I told you both to leave me alone. A thread that not only I, but others as well, thought was clearly written as a threat towards me.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...bitter-root-expectations.209089/#post-1845620

    Let's hear your side, ghostie. We all know you clearly keep your messages with other users, so go on.....show us the exchanges between you & the black dog that led to him seeking me out. Go on....
    I will not be labeled "crazy betrayed spouse" any longer. You & I both know that's laughable & a really fucking poor move on your part. You might bully others on here, but you will not bully me, nor will you slander me to save your ass.

    I'm an intelligent person, ghost. You & my ex underestimated me.
     

    Attached Files:

  7. Just ignore him, that's what I tend to do. It's always best to remove things or people who are having a negative effect on your mental health. We need to take care of ourselves.
     
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  8. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I have, my friend. I've ignored, blocked, asked to leave me alone multiple times....
    I'm sick of it, to be honest. I'll be damned if all of my hard work is negated because someone is obsessed with me & refuses to leave me alone. I have been walked all over for too long. I've never stood up for myself, so just let me. Please?
     
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  9. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    I concur, if I was trying to do that to you, that would be really really low. I am not trying to make you appear crazy, nor am I willing to Gaslight you into it. I will address each and every item.
    If you want him to join in, that's between you and him. I would encourage his input if he so chooses.
    First of all, your assertion that it was a setup is all a supposition that is unfounded. Here is precisely what I said to him, and I DID NOT tell him to PM you. I told him to check my references as he embarked on a mission to solicit help for another individual. You just happened to come to mind at the time. You made a huge flying leap to make broad assumptions about me on this basis.'
    I offered to help, and I wanted to reassure him that I could be trusted to do so. Trust me, I won't make that mistake with you again.
    I'm sorry of you saw this thread as a threat. That never was the intent, nor was it for the purpose of pointing YOU out. You knew I was referring to you without naming you. And I didn't call you out deliberately, for I had already figured out something was wrong. I just didn't know what or to what extent. That thread was not a threat, and if that is your interpretation of it, my sincere apologies. That thread was a vent. That thread was a reminder to me about the bitter root judgments and expectations that I have endured through out my life. That thread was a means for me get something that was significantly bothering me off of my chest and out onto the computer. That helps me process things that are bothering me. Your accusation bothered me because I did nothing wrong, yet I was being accused of doing something wrong. As much as the events that precipitated this have caused you trauma, being accused of something you haven't done is equally traumatizing to the accused. I didn't call you out by name because I didn't want to subject you to any further harassment than you had already experienced up to that point.

    I really don't give a damn what other's think about it. I only give a damn what you think about it if you feel threatened by it. So to that extent, I am sorry. That was not my intent.
    I will be happy to do that if/when he agrees to it. I will not violate any confidentiality between him and I any more than I will violate confidentiality between you and I. If he agrees, I will gladly replicate every single exchange between him and myself subject to redaction that would identify any other person in the subject of our discussion. And when anyone reads it, they'll quickly and clearly understand why their identities were redacted.
    I'm not labeling you anything but a "Betrayed Spouse". That's it. I use the term "crazy making" to describe a betrayed spouse when they get "crazy" on their spouse. It is a generally accepted terminology in sexual addiction treatment practice. It's why I also explicitly said I refuse to contribute to the Gaslighting that you have already been subjected to.
    What move is that?
    I am not, nor have I ever, bullied you. I'm a straight shooter, I tell it like it is, I don't hold back any punches, I don't beat around the bush or give people shit to read between the lines. I am direct and to the point, always have been, always will be. If someone doesn't like it and sees that as bullying, that's their problem. I can't "make you feel" anything. You can't "make me feel" anything. But I will tell you this; I WILL defend my good name against the bullshit you keep dragging me into so help me God.
    The only think I underestimated is the propensity for someone you are trying to help to turn around and attack you. Thanks to you, I will forever forward keep my guard up.

    As for all of the pictures attached, I can only speak for those between you and me. The exchange between you and I is no real secret. It has been shared before ad nauseam. I'll let him address that if he so chooses. If this is your so called evidence, you've got none.
    And yet you continue to call me out. If you have ignored me, you would stop tagging me. I hadn't said anything to you whatsoever until you dragged me into it. When you stop tagging me, I'll stop defending myself. But if you intend to keep portraying me as being something that I am not, we're going to continue to have a problem. Sadly, this witch hut you've created, some of your loyal followers will be inclined to believe the bag of shit you keep shoveling.

    Please do stand up for yourself. I highly encourage that. Just make sure in doing so, you don't trample all over the people whose only crime has ever been to help you. We can be done with this. All you have to do is stop including me in your damned unsubstantiated accusations, and we'll be done, and I'll go back to ignoring you like I have done since December 30th.
     
  10. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    I agree. When people are trying to work on themselves and their own recovery and people like @GhostWriter have no clue, or simply REFUSE to leave them alone, ignoring them is all we can do. And yes, he is absolutely gaslighting you, @cakeinacrisis because that's what narcissists do, otherwise he would've left you alone LONG ago. Everyone who reads any part of this thread can tell that he's not welcome here, but here is anyway, continuing to post things to you, refusing to leave you alone, which we can all tell (at least the rest of us anyway) is what you want.

    Now its time for him to reply to this comment, sentence by sentence, and tell us all that he's really only here to help and anyone who doesn't see that clearly doesn't know anything about him, recovery, or ourselves.
     
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  11. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I really don't want to have to be doing this, but ignoring got me nowhere & I deserve to be able to get safety, respect, & peace on this forum, just like everyone else. *Don't read if you're just going to tell me to ignore or take privately. It doesn't work, unfortunately.*

    So, @GhostWriter, your stories are bolded & my responses are in italics.

    Then don't tag me and keep me out of it. You say "...leave me the fuck alone...", yet you turn around and tag me. Just as I have respected your request from December 30th, please respect mine as well.

    You know ghost, I'm finding that you have a lot to say until your ego & competence gets challenged. You will jump on any thread & try to gaslight the hell out of anyone that disagrees with you but as soon as you are challenged by someone that won't succumb to your tirades, you scream muh boundaries, respect them, leave me aloneeeee & then you go keyboard warrior their asses on your little snowflake thread, or whatever new thread you've started to be able & get your version of events out.


    And I am so sorry you are going through this personal hell. I truly am.

    Are you so sorry, you intentionally put me in danger? You knew what you were doing with the shit you posted yesterday. Do not act like you give any shits about this made up personal hell you think I'm in while maliciously & passive aggressively attacking me. On my journal. You are delusional.

    Well good. Then show it. Show me what you have that connects ME to this conspiracy of yours. You can't because there is nothing that connects me to any of it. Nothing! I'm not a party to it and never was.
    Again, I am so sorry that you have concluded that I am a participant in this conspiracy to resort to such desperate measures. I am so sorry that someone has traumatized you to the point you have called me and others out on it. But you don't go around accusing innocent people, the least of all, me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I will not stand for it and I will defend myself, for I'll be damned. I am not going to tolerate it. And no, you shouldn't tolerate being abused and must protect yourself. I so hope you find out who it is. I so hope you find closure on it. And I so hope you find healing. But it is NOT me.

    I did show earlier you were directly involved, so....prove you weren't. It's really that simple.

    FYI, I never report stuff to the Moderation Team because we have this love/hate relationship. But for what it is worth, I took the liberty of reporting this one. Here is what I had to say word for word:

    "...OK Moderation Team, I've had just about enough of this nonsense. I have little doubt that she is somehow being traumatized by someone here on this website. I just know it wasn't/isn't me. I'm really growing sick and tired of being dragged into it. I'm sick and tired of the false accusations against me. I have tried to gracefully ignore it and her. But she continues. Please put a stop to it. I hope she figures out who it is. And I also hope they get busted and banned for it. Furthermore, I hope she can heal from it because this type of behavior only adds insult to injury of a Partner that has been betrayed. If you want/need anything from me, just ask, and I'll provide you whatever you need. I just want whosoever is doing this caught and myself exonerated..."

    I wish you all the best and have hopes and prayers that you can somehow find peace where it appears little is to be had.

    Projection; do not assume I have little peace & do not dare insult me & my healing by talking to ANYONE about me & using my betrayal as some kind of thing that defines me. My betrayal doesn't have any influence on my ability to be a rational & intelligent human, so for you to try & use it to get out answering to this crap you participated in, is so very childish of you.

    If you want him to join in, that's between you and him. I would encourage his input if he so chooses.

    Oh, no, it's not between him & I. As I've shown, you two collaborated & brought the weird to me, so as adults, you two owe me an explanation. Here. So everyone can see & nothing gets confused.

    First of all, your assertion that it was a setup is all a supposition that is unfounded. Here is precisely what I said to him, and I DID NOT tell him to PM you. I told him to check my references as he embarked on a mission to solicit help for another individual. You just happened to come to mind at the time. You made a huge flying leap to make broad assumptions about me on this basis.'

    Interesting. Why would he need to check your references to solicit help for another individual? Wtf is this, a job interview? Regardless, you tell this guy to check with me bc i was the first one that came to your mind. I'm curious....you said you didn't tell him to private message me, so how did you think he was going to ask me about your credentials? So, let's assume you assumed he'd do this by way of private messaging me. Were you going to give me a friendly heads up that some random guy was going to be asking me about you?

    Is that a no I hear?

    **your supposed message between you & this other user, regarding you telling them they need to check out your credentials; friggin weird**
    So here is what I am going to suggest if coming here is not an option to her. But before you do this, check me out. cakeinacrisis is a good reference. If you need more, just ask, and I'll give you plenty more.

    I offered to help, and I wanted to reassure him that I could be trusted to do so. Trust me, I won't make that mistake with you again.

    Is this not weird to anyone else? Or is it just me? Why would you send a stranger on a porn addiction website, to a spouse that has been violated beyond belief?! Did you get his "credentials", orrrrrrrr???? Again, don't you dare turn this around & insinuate I've caused you to make a mistake. You made your own mistake, not I.

    I'm sorry of you saw this thread as a threat. That never was the intent, nor was it for the purpose of pointing YOU out. You knew I was referring to you without naming you. And I didn't call you out deliberately, for I had already figured out something was wrong.

    This was pure intimidation & most certainly, threatening (from the thread referenced):
    "Be careful what you wish for. Be careful the conclusions you jump to. For your Bitter Root Judgments will likely, like that of my own, turn into Bitter Root Expectations. I'm here to tell you, when you choose to believe in your "Gut Instincts", your "Women's Intuition", your "Sixth Sense" or whatever you choose tocall it, you better be sure that you have your "I's" dotted and your "T's"crossed, your facts straight, for youmight just be making a huge mistake you cannot change."
    Threats. Also, did I mention how my human rights were violated because of sex addiction? Because, yeah, I'm positive you know....& this shit is not ok. It's not ok to do to anyone, really, regardless of human rights being violated.

    Your accusation bothered me because I did nothing wrong, yet I was being accused of doing something wrong

    Yeah, man, I feel ya. Your inability to leave me alone is bothering me. Instead of acting like a child & starting some passive aggressive thread in hopes of getting your attention with threats, I put my big girl pants on & directly acknowledged you, from my journal.

    I didn't call you out by name because I didn't want to subject you to any further harassment than you had already experienced up to that point.

    So, just because you didn't call me out by name, you don't view what you did as harassment? Where's the logic here? & if you felt I was in fact being harassed, what possessed you to think it was a good idea to start writing negative threads about me, aimed, directly at me?

    I will be happy to do that if/when he agrees to it. I will not violate any confidentiality between him and I any more than I will violate confidentiality between you and I. If he agrees, I will gladly replicate every single exchange between him and myself subject to redaction that would identify any other person in the subject of our discussion. And when anyone reads it, they'll quickly and clearly understand why their identities were redacted.

    Oh really? Now you claim respect of confidentiality? Perfect timing. You, are a joke.
    You are trying to tell me that this other user sought you out, collaborated with you on a pretty intense subject per your wording regarding how we all would "clearly understand why their identies were redacted", then you sent this user to me to tell him that your credentials are top notch?!? Gtfoh
    Btw, I have no clue what your credentials are other than what you brag about every other thread on here, so, I'm not sure what you were looking for by sending him to me. Weird on weird.


    I'm not labeling you anything but a "Betrayed Spouse". That's it. I use the term "crazy making" to describe a betrayed spouse when they get "crazy" on their spouse.

    I mean, if that's what you need to tell yourself to make it appear as if you've never insinuated I'm off my rocker, then do you, buddy.

    I WILL defend my good name against the bullshit you keep dragging me into so help me God.

    Oh no, ghost, I think you've got this wrong. I did not drag you into anything. You & your buddy brought this mess to me, & I'm just taking care of it once & for all. I didn't ask you to tell this person to seek me out & ask bizarre questions. I didn't continue to passive aggressively harass a woman who told me to leave them alone (multiple times, mind you). You brought this to me. Don't forget that.

    Thanks to you, I will forever forward keep my guard up.

    You mean to tell me that because I told you to leave me the fuck alone, I have forever forward made you keep your guard up?! Is keeping your guard up starting new threads to talk about me? How do you not see how strange this is?!? We're freaking people on the internet & you act as though I've forever damaged you. It's hysterical that I was the one telling you to leave me alone & now you're going to play games & act like I've forever damaged you. Hysterical, I say.

    We can be done with this. All you have to do is stop including me in your damned unsubstantiated accusations, and we'll be done, and I'll go back to ignoring you like I have done since December 30th.

    Yeah, we can be done with this. All it takes is the convos between you and this other user. It's on my terms when this ordeal is done. You keep forgetting, you were the one that brought this crazy to me & wouldn't quit me when I asked you to. You not only didn't respect my request to leave me alone, you then started the weird thread shit that continued until 1/8, as well as referencing other things I've said to you in other threads as recently as this week.
    So, i feel it's imperative you do a refresher on what ignoring means.
    Also, I told you to leave me alone, so don't negate that by saying you have been ignoring me. Doesn't matter I guess, because you're not ignoring me or respecting my request to leave me alone. FML.


    So, I'll be patiently waiting when somebody wants to start telling me the truth. I grew a backbone during my healing. I kinda like it.

    Also, you should definitely check out the definition of limerence, if you truly aren't doing my ex's dirty work.
     
  12. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I don't know quite what to say. Some person I don't think I've ever interacted with just appears, says everything I've wanted to say, & then drops the mic.

    I truly wanted to give you a standing ovation after reading that.

    Thank you
     
  13. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    You're very welcome. I've seen a lot of bullying in my lifetime and the bottom line here is that if he TRULY didn't want to upset you, he would simply apologize to you for anything he's done to bother you and completely leave you alone by not posting on your threads or commenting or replying to anything you post.

    But we all know THAT'S never gonna happen.
     
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  14. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    This message is in response to this...(BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR IT)
    AND
    This message will come in multiple parts because the Forum Software limits Replies to 30,000 Characters.

    Here is all of my dialog with The Black Dog in its entirety. Nothing whatsoever has been omitted, or altered in any way, except the only things REDACTED are items that would potentially identify and/or harm another individual. It is what it is in raw form.

    PART I
    December 21, 2018

    The Black Dog said:
    While I am not a partner, or the parent, of someone who has PMO-related problems, I am posting here because I believe it may fit in this forum.

    I am in a odd situation at work where a long term, high performing employee of mine has confided in me about a relationship problem she is experiencing with her husband. Normally, I don’t have team members approach me with their personal problems, but I have known this woman for a long time, I have helped build her career, and she trusts me immensely. This couple has tried, but so far have had no children.

    Her husband is clearly a PA. While I do not possess any credentials to provide professional counseling, I believe she would be justified to leave him for reasons related to his actions which I will detail below within a trigger warning section. She plans to go to a counselor, but asked me some questions about her husband which I really couldn’t answer. I told her I would get back to her soon if I had further thoughts.

    Clearly, she should join this community and post in this forum, but due to my position I really don’t want to suggest that and have anyone at work knowing am member here. While I am not a PA, I don’t need the speculation.

    It has taken me a long time to set this up, but I am looking for success stories, or unsuccessful stories, from either PAs or Partners of PAs based on the situation below. I am NOT looking for opinions of whether she should leave her husband. I haven’t figured out how I will share my new-found information with her yet, but if I can get answers to questions I will list at the end of this post, that would be most helpful.

    The woman has endured emotional and physical abuse of her husband. The details about this guy are in the trigger warning.

    The husband is a serious PA. He has medical issues and his prescription apparently increases his sex drive. He says he know his actions are seriously wrong, has gone through counseling, and wants to stop. Below are some of his details/actions:
    • Acts out p scenes with his wife - most of it she is not a willing participant
    • Forced oral, forced anal, ignores stop commands
    • Continually views nude photos of past partners
    • Is pushing wife to sleep with other men, or several at once
    • Blackmail
    • Threatens to post nude photos of his wife online to solicit comments
    • Sexually explicit name calling
    • Unwelcome rough sexual acts
    • A number of other horrifying acts from bad p scenes that I will leave out in the interest of maintaining her anonymity (not sure if her husband is on this site)

    This abusive husband acknowledges he needs serious help. He says he loves his wife (she believes this too), wants to change, and is seeking help. He believes his p addiction is responsible for his distorted reality in how he views his wife and their sexual experiences together.

    Questions:

    Has anyone seen any success, either as the PA or as the Partner, in overcoming a p addiction so severe that they commit unwelcome sexual acts with spouse?

    Has anyone experienced episodes of distorted reality during sex to where they mimic p scenes and force unwilling spouse/SO to participate even though they know it is wrong? I am looking to validate that this happens.

    Do you think that this husband’s actions are directly related to years of p addiction, or his actions unrelated to viewing p and he is just one sick individual?

    Has anyone tried to coerce their partner into doing unwelcome acts as a result of a p addiction?

    Is it common to keep talking about unwelcome acts with a partner even though they know it clearly upsets them?

    Is there any hope, or is it impossible for this relationship to be anything but year after year of continued abuse?

    Again, a rational person knows that this woman should run far and fast. She wants to know from me whether this situation can change for the better with time and effort on his part.
    December 21, 2018
    December 21, 2018
    December 21, 2018
    December 21, 2018
    December 30, 2018
    December 30, 2018
    December 30, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
     
  15. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    PART II
    Feel free to provide feedback/edit if you want.[/QUOTE]
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    The Black Dog said:
    Bravo! Nice job. I need to let this incubate, or give it a rest, before I respond.
    The Black Dog said:
    You may wonder why a non PA/SA guy would give a shit about this incident. In case you do, here is why...
    The Black Dog said:
    I am analytical. I am most comfortable making decisions with solid data. I am also willing to take calculated risks to make decisions during times of uncertainty.
    The Black Dog said:
    I would say I am moderately religious man. There are now countless ways I have nosed my way into the lives of people, those I know and those I don’t, at the most opportune of times. I have learned that God works through me to save businesses and to prevent suicide. I have helped people see that there relationships aren’t ready to be flushed. I stumble into this situations. God does this when I act on contacting people out of the blue. I have learned that I can’t ignore this voice that tells me to reach out. I can’t prove this as I would like to, but I can’t ignore the fact that this has happened over and over again for the past 10 or 15 years. While I don’t believe in coincidences, I don’t yet understand why I make such a difference in people’s lives. It is baffling.
    The Black Dog said:
    I reached out to Cake out of the blue. She called me her angel. She told me she learned a lot from me. She shared a litany of shit that made this good person feel that this is another incident of me popping into someone’s life at an opportune time. She said she was particularly low on Christmas and I made a huge difference for her.
    The Black Dog said:
    I invested a shitload of my time, like a fool, in our 154-message exchange over the past week.
    The Black Dog said:
    Is this the end of the world? Heck no.
    The Black Dog said:
    Do I feel like I wasted far too much of my precious time on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day supporting her while my family couldn’t understand why I was on my electronics so much? Heck yes.
    The Black Dog said:
    So this stings.
    The Black Dog said:
    Maybe she is an addict?
    The Black Dog said:
    Maybe she drinks or drugs or whatever?
    The Black Dog said:
    Maybe her husband wasn’t gaslighting her and she really is nuts?
    The Black Dog said:
    For as much as we talked, she didn’t tell me anything personal. Not even a fake first name. I know where she is from and where she generally lives.
    TO BE CLEAR HERE, WHEN I SAY I KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES, I KNOW WHAT CITY SHE LIVES IN ONLY BECAUSE I SOUGHT INFORMATION FOR HER PERTAINING TO CSATs IN HER AREA THAT FOLLOWED THE BETRAYAL TRAUMA MODEL. OTHER THAN THAT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE LIVES.
    The Black Dog said:
    She went down the path of telling me about this foreign doctor is “100% is in love with and is 99% certain is real.”
    The Black Dog said:
    She kept calling me the doctor.
    The Black Dog said:
    I think she thought I was this foreign guy who lives in another country despite my telling her I live in REDACTED.
    The Black Dog said:
    Who knows and who cares?
    The Black Dog said:
    Well, apparently I do because I am venting to you.
    The Black Dog said:
    I was enjoying myself here. I thought I was making a difference for young addicts with my plain-speak and no nonsense delivery
    The Black Dog said:
    She fucked that up.
    The Black Dog said:
    She has given me the ultimate “fuck you” by accusing me of things I haven’t done and has tried to taint your good name in that same process.
    The Black Dog said:
    This is criminal. I am seriously hurt by this; far more hurt than I should be.
    The Black Dog said:
    I will probably like or comment on your proposed post.
    The Black Dog said:
    If you want to strategize what I say, I would be open to that too.
    The Black Dog said:
    You are a good man.

    Thanks,
    REDACTED

    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
    December 31, 2018
     
  16. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    PART III
    December 31, 2018

    GhostWriter said:
    I like that! "...let it incubate..." I'm gonna steal that.
    GhostWriter said:
    Well that's just refreshing. You and I have much more in common that you realize. Perhaps this may contribute to why she feels as though you and I are one and the same person. All that you say here is so characteristically similar to me, it's mind boggling. But as far as coincidences, I do not believe in them anymore. And we don't need to understand the "whys". We only need to understand that "if God is calling us to do something, we do it without question." I don't know why I have endured the shit storm I have had to endure, but I feel as though it was God's calling for me to do what I am doing here. So you are not alone. In fact, as much as I know about this shit, and I'd preferred not to, I'm quite reasonably certain, I can learn a whole lot from you. Very refreshing to hear!
    GhostWriter said:
    It was only a matter of weeks before she came to realize that what I was telling her was true
    GhostWriter said:
    No, not "...like a fool...". Like a good man of God. So don't you ever beat yourself up for doing the right thing when engaged in conversation with her as long as you know yourself you were doing the right thing.
    GhostWriter said:
    If that's what God called you to do, do you really believe it was a waste of time?
    GhostWriter said:
    Perhaps, but based on my dialog with her, I don't think so. I think she is grasping at straws for understanding, for someone to absorb her pain with her, to feel loved and appreciated and understood. If you knew what I know her husband was into, you too would probably be so very gun shy with any man. Hell, I don't know how she will ever trust a man again. She exhibits all of the signs of someone who has experienced serious betrayal trauma, so much so, it would easily be classified as PTSD. And if you think about it, how she is lashing out at you, and lashing out at me, she IS suffering from PTSD! Looking at some of the messages she has posted lately, it is reminiscent of someone whose brain is bouncing all over the place, and I'm certain not because of her own doing.
    GhostWriter said:
    Actually, you and I could be a great team for helping people here. Especially if you enjoy it. I can be the point of "blunt force trauma get this in your head knucklehead" and you can be the point of "hear is a voice of rationale and reason". We could compliment one another greatly I think.
    GhostWriter said:
    OK, if you're gonna stick around and help people, you're going to need crocodile skin.
    The Black Dog said:
    This is interesting. I guess I would have to give it some time to understand how so. On paper, what do I know about any of this? Practically nothing I am sure. Frankly, I hate soft science shit. In college I flunked REDACTED two or three times. I dropped REDACTED too. I just couldn't get the REDACTED credit I needed because I just didn't understand it. Eventually I got is through an REDACTED course. Talk about a tough credit, but I understood that shit. Anyway, I can't provide coaching as an experienced addict. This has some serious limitations. I don't mind them because it is a good trade off. If 10 guys on this site and I were sitting around a circle throwing our worst problems in the middle as part of an exchange, I would grab all of my problems back. In some sort of weird way I enjoy this as I do coaching young people who work for me. When I talk people generally listen. You are a seasoned veteran with a few more miles on your tires than me. While I think we can relate on a few things, I don't yet know what I can help you with.
    The Black Dog said:
    In so many words she validated this. Please don't take this the wrong way, and this came out in my "respectfully requesting you stop" message, I wasn't sure you could be trusted. I didn't know enough about you.
    The Black Dog said:
    In so many words she validated this. Please don't take this the wrong way, and this came out in my "respectfully requesting you stop" message, I wasn't sure you could be trusted. I didn't know enough about you.
    December 31, 2018
    The Black Dog said:
    This is interesting. I guess I would have to give it some time to understand how so. On paper, what do I know about any of this? Practically nothing I am sure. Frankly, I hate soft science shit. In college I flunked REDACTED two or three times. I dropped REDACTED too. I just couldn't get the REDACTED credit I needed because I just didn't understand it. Eventually I got is through an REDACTED course. Talk about a tough credit, but I understood that shit. Anyway, I can't provide coaching as an experienced addict. This has some serious limitations. I don't mind them because it is a good trade off. If 10 guys on this site and I were sitting around a circle throwing our worst problems in the middle as part of an exchange, I would grab all of my problems back. In some sort of weird way I enjoy this as I do coaching young people who work for me. When I talk people generally listen. You are a seasoned veteran with a few more miles on your tires than me. While I think we can relate on a few things, I don't yet know what I can help you with.
    The Black Dog said:
    In so many words she validated this. Please don't take this the wrong way, and this came out in my "respectfully requesting you stop" message, I wasn't sure you could be trusted. I didn't know enough about you.
    The Black Dog said:
    This is just my manner for looking at things, probably from business experience, when someone claims they are the best, most knowledgeable, or a resident expert, it is a red flag. I say bullshit. I say this in business to salespeople all of the time. I immediately think, 'yeah, so, why should I think what you say is true, just because you said so?'
    The Black Dog said:
    I am a 'prove it' kind of guy.
    The Black Dog said:
    In this world of anonymity I can't tell from my limited time (limited at that time) following your posts and responses, whether you are a 16 year kid hiding out in your parents basement, a guy who took one psychology class 30 years ago and is hanging a pro bono counseling shingle next to their avatar and potentially further screwing up women with bad advice, or an experienced, intelligent, benevolent human being. I now know that it is the latter.
    The Black Dog said:
    I couldn't live with myself if I hooked a woman, an SO of an abusive PA, with just another monster on the internet.
    The Black Dog said:
    I hope you understand my cautious ways.
    The Black Dog said:
    Anyway, Cake defended you in a big way. Once she defended you to the extent she did and I was in, and then this thing blew up in my face and I was back to not trusting anyone on this crazy site once again.
    The Black Dog said:
    Indeed. I guess I do know this. I was a bit raw and pissed at myself for being affected by this.
    The Black Dog said:
    I don't, now that you put it that way. From a long-term strategy perspective, this isn't even a blip on the radar. From a 100 ft view, short-term tactical assault, it is a loss and it pisses me off. I am already over it, mostly; okay, almost mostly.
    The Black Dog said:
    Toward the end she wanted me to give my assessment of her situation with this "doctor." I gave it to her in "brutally honest and unfiltered paragraphs 1 thru 3." This changed it all for her. She responded with:

    Fuck
    I gotta think about this.
    I will get back to you after my hangover

    After that it seemed like someone else was writing. Her thoughts weren't thoughtful. They were guarded. They were scattered and fragmented thoughts at best. They just didn't make sense and seemed irrelevant to what we were talking about. This is where I really got concerned and before we could get much further she said she was "dipping out." She was gone until I got the "i know your GW" message in the middle of the night. This is why I thought she was on drugs, or has a drinking habit, or something to explain the abrupt change in behavior. She probably just was putting her walls back up and double-locking the door.
    The Black Dog said:
    Maybe. There was a post the other day where this kid was contemplating suicide and wanted to know if sex, or having sex with an escort would help him. My message was simply, "no". I also told him he needed professional help. He disputed what I said and I picked it apart statement by statement concluding each one with "and you need to see a therapist." I think you saw it. Anyway, the kid was pleading, "i know black dog' or "I am trying Black Dog", etc. Even though I am not an expert, this kid doesn't know this. I didn't let him off of the hook and you followed it up with a "we've talked about this before" kind of statement. I think that worked. Is this an example of what you are suggesting?
    The Black Dog said:
    Absolutely. The second thing is to not get too involved with people. I did that with cake and I was only setting myself up. I should have known better.
     
  17. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    PART IV
    January 1, 2019

    cakeinacrisis said:
    Hi pedro, or whoever you are.
    I have contacted Garland police and the police in my town.
    They have all of your information & are aware of the stalking.
    January 1, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    REDACTED,

    I don’t even know to make of this. Obviously she thinks she is being stalked. I am not going to respond as she wants to be left alone. I have no idea who Pedro or what his relation is to her. Are you getting messages like this too?

    REDACTED
    cakeinacrisis said:
    I have contacted Garland police and the police in the town I live in.
    They have your information and are aware you are stalking me.
    January 1, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    REDACTED,

    I don’t even know to make of this. Obviously she thinks she is being stalked. I am not going to respond as she wants to be left alone. I have no idea who Pedro or what his relation is to her. Are you getting messages like this too?

    REDACTED
    GhostWriter said:
    LOL, best of luck with that!
    January 1, 2019
    GhostWriter said:
    Yep. Just got this one at 9:41AM this morning.
    The Black Dog said:
    January 1, 2019
    Mine was at 9:23. So she thinks I am the problem and she is giving you the same warning as an afterthought. Great.
    January 1, 2019
    January 1, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    Well, whatever needs to happen for her to be at peace I am all for it, as long as it doesn’t involve people knocking on my front door to question me.
    January 1, 2019
    GhostWriter said:
    Hell, I didn’t know anything about the good Doctor, so who knows what’s in the bag.
    January 1, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    I deleted the long conversation I had with her and made it such that she couldn’t reply. I don’t know how she could go through it and see flags. I would have to be some ingenious crazy person to weave a web of deceit for her to suspect me of wrongdoing.

    Regarding the doctor, here is what I remember. Some of it may be what I already told you:
    • He didn’t come up until day seven of our correspondence
    • She said he saved her
    • I believe she thought I was him for quite a while, if not right from the start
    • She explained that she started chatting with this guy, never told me his user name and I never asked, back in October
    • She said they chatted a lot in Oct and Nov about life. Some deep stuff. She never told me anything specific; I didn’t ask
    • She said that Oct was a dark time for her. She said that the first week of Nov was the worst week of her life, with 11/6 or 11/8, I forget which, being the date she filed for divorce. She said at that point if she didn’t live any longer she wouldn’t care
    • She said early on in the conversations with this guy he made some reference to him which she interpreted that he was a doctor. He denied it. It wasn’t brought up again
    • He lived in a country that was too far away from where she was. I didn’t know yet where she was living
    • They kind of cooled off for a while because the holiday season
    • A lot of “cosmic” things started happening. One being me falling into her life and then the other was this guy contacting her out of the blue right before Christmas
    • He told her that what he had to say was crazy, but he had to tell her that he had deep feelings for her and that he would regret it if he didn’t share that with her. He said that he felt that they were meant to be together
    • He went on to mention something about a residency, she “was right, he was a doctor after all”
    • In late November, after the first divorce hearing, her husband was allowed to come home to gather his stuff. He “was making demands that I find his passport.” He was frantic and said that he needed to go to another country. I don’t remember how she said it, but she indicated that his craziness about this passport was typical of him. The country he needed to go to was the same country this doctor is from/lives in
    • She is 100% certain she is in love with him and she is 99% percent that he is a real person
    • She wanted to know what I made of all of this. She went on to tell me I would say, “WTF Cake. Are you fucking crazy? What in the hell are you doing, Cake? This is nuts”
    • She indicated that she has “googled the shit out of this guy”. She made all kind of crazy accusations of who he is.
    • She marveled that he stuck around despite her acting like a lunatic. She said he wasn’t happy with her accusations of who he was, but once she explained a few things he was at peace with it and picked up the conversation from right where it was before the accusations, “just like it never happened, which to anyone familiar with an INFJ knows that this is secret for blasting through her 1500 layers of protection and is now right at my core.”
    • I asked her simply why she had to google the shit out of this guy. If they were getting close. Why didn’t she just ask him for his name? This was the beginning of the end for us
    • It seems that there is some level of uncertainty that the guy she fell for in Oct/Nov was the same guy she was talking to now. And she wasn’t even certain whether I was him too, playing games with her. I cannot unravel this, or understand this. There are obviously many missing pieces which I am not aware of
    • Toward the end, I pointed out that you were the only person in here who knew her real name. I even asked her to make up a fake first name which I could refer to her instead of ‘Cake,’ she told me, “Geez REDACTED, I am just vetting you. Relax and I will give it to you.” But she had no problem telling me that part of which state she was living in and that she hated it. Anyway, I asked her why she wouldn’t have also shared her name with someone she was falling in love with. The walls went up further
    • The last things I asked was if she in any way thought her husband was duping her just to fuck with her head, pretending to be the doctor. She said no. I then told her about the GW vulnerability advice I got, went on to say why what you had to say on the subject was a valid concern. I then asked if it was possible that she was falling for this doctor due to her vulnerability in Oct and Nov. This was probably a mistake on my part
    • Since she was following me, I could view her profile to see who she was following. I could only see a couple men that might fit the bill. There was someone from France, but this guy was old and wouldn’t be doing a residency for med school. There was someone from the UK. But he was like 35. Another guy names REDACTED. I couldn’t view his profile to understand where he is from. His avatar looks like REDACTED or something. Then there is REDACTED, who maybe you know as he is active, but his profile doesn’t suggest foreign residence. REDACTED is another one, but that isn’t it. She didn’t follow you, lol. And then me, which she stopped following me.
    I am not really trying to play Columbo here. Just sharing information to help close the gap, since you weren’t aware of the doctor situation. Maybe discussions with the good doctor were starting to fall apart, or she was actively talking to him simultaneously with me, and she drew a conclusion that I was an imposter with ill intent. Maybe you can understand better how you may have gotten dragged into this based on the confidential information you know (I am not asking for it)? If this helps you fill in some of the blanks, great. That is all I am trying to do for you.
    January 1, 2019
    GhostWriter said:
    As for the "vulnerability", when I was talking about it, I was referring to your co-worker that we were discussing. Not cakeinacrisis if that was what you were thinking.
    January 2, 2019
    January 2, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    Hi REDACTED,

    This has been the most bizarre thread, considering the title of it, why it started, and what it mostly addressed.

    Back to the beginning...

    A question for you... the coworker woman needs help. With everything I know about you I know you are perfect to help her with her needs. Are you still interested in helping and have the time to take another one into your flock?

    REDACTED
     
  18. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    PART V
    January 2, 2019

    January 2, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    Totally makes sense.

    I appreciate you for helping out. She is a codependent and thus on a couple of roller coasters at once; that of the PA and that of her own due to her needing to be in a relationship, even if it is to her detriment.

    I hope you can appreciate why I would have done this, but this has to do with me trusting nobody on the internet and this site, including you (prior to this weekend), but there is a plot twist to the story. Due to a need for confidentiality, a need to avoid 37 PAs giving unhelpful advice to a new female, and her need for anonymity, she requested I change the circumstances REDACTED I am sorry about this but I will explain later.

    In reality, I did have a REDACTED, a different woman, approach me this past summer about her husband being a PA (no physical abuse, not sure about emotional abuse [probably some]). As her manager I directed her to EAP and basically was done with it. For this codependent woman I want you to talk with and help, she isn’t REDACTED and she is not my REDACTED. To protect her from her PA and suicidal REDACTED, as he does use the site, she had me make a post on her behalf and disguise her per her oversite. I did it by blending my REDACTED and some of the circumstances with the codependent woman I met on this site pushing a month ago. This way her REDACTED would not recognize the codependent or himself in my REDACTED post a few weeks back. She is very bright, but her REDACTED, plus she never has an ask. I took down the post per her request, but if you remember it my queries were very specific (they were her questions), all so I could attract responses from you, specifically, and a few useful others.

    I hope I am clear. I hope I haven’t lost credibility with you.

    Tonight I will start a new conversation with the three of us. I will repeat some of what I told you to unwind my REDACTED story. I know intimate details about her, her abuse, etc, etc, but I will not discuss them, for reasons you already understand and preach about. I will let her decide if she wants to keep me around while she sniffs your hand to make sure you don’t bite. She can start a new conversation or take to email away from me, whatever makes her feel comfortable. If she does decide to include me, I do not intend to participate in the dialog, as I am not the expert and I don’t want to distract.

    I am going to be brutally honest here, one of the reasons I started the REDACTED thread I did was because I knew you, and a few others would respond. I had seen your work in part, but knew I needed to vet you first, as I wasn’t about to contribute to this woman’s misery by introducing her to someone who is potentially going to do her a lot of harm. I now know you much better; ignoring you being a co-stalker, lol.

    Little did I know that our accuser has helped me grow comfortable with you! Lol.

    As you know, I believe God works through me. I haven’t been able to make sense of me being on this nofap thingy, but maybe this has all been a part of the plan for Him to connect the two of you via my help.

    She needs a great deal of help with Boundaries and Consequences by my estimation. I know you can help her with that as a minimum. I will let her provide the rest of her story at her own pace and comfort level.

    Sorry if I have come off as a crackpot, but I did what I thought was right to protect this codependent and her abusive/suicidal PA partner.

    Are you still okay with this insanity?
    January 2, 2019
    January 2, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    I didn’t understand the three way conversation limitation. I don’t plan to be a paying member. The main goal for me doing that was for her to know what I have told you, and to some extent so we are all on the same page about how I created a phantom person to cover her needs for confidentiality and her desire for me to maintain credibility for doing so.
    sparkywantsnoPMO said:
    Inviting additional users into a private conversation is reserved for Premium users. I’m checking on the other issues.
    The Black Dog said:
    She said she is busy this week with work. The thing I don’t like about this situation is that it makes it easy for her to kick the can down the road for working with you. She will never go for a public discussion on this situation. I think what I will do is write a message and send it to each of you individually. You can compare what I sent to ensure I am legitimate. Then you can start your own discussion or email without me.
    The Black Dog said:
    She has made exactly one post. It was a disaster. By the time I got home from work she pulled the post, because she was getting flooded with advice that wasn’t useful to her and she was worried her REDACTED would see it. I reached out to her later. I didn’t even know who made the original post, but I looked at members online, found a new female member, and got lucky when I inquired if she made the removed post. I am nearly 100% certain you commented on it, but I didn’t have time to read her complete post or your comment prior to her deleting the post. Otherwise, she hasn’t been active since that original post.
    The Black Dog said:
    Your private message to me regarding the advice you had for her and me was largely sent to her after I scrubbed it a bit. She has chewed on it for a couple weeks now and wants to “meet” the anonymous you (she doesn’t yet know the recommendations came from GW).
    The Black Dog said:
    I know how to warm up this conversation between you two in a way that the onus remains on her to initiate a conversation between you two; and also so I can step out of this discussion. I am sure her and I will still converse, because we have that sort of relationship, but I intend on stepping out of your way regarding her fishing or cutting bait regarding her relationship with her REDADCTED. She also needs to fix herself even if she ditches this guy, so I know you can help with that too.
    The Black Dog said:
    Thanks for understanding why I did what I did. Had I known you were legit and were willing to help right from the start, this nonsense could have been eliminated. Thanks again.

    Expect a message tonight in another discussion thread.
    January 18, 2019
    cakeinacrisis said:
    Because I give no fucks anymore at this point, the user(s) absolutely re-traumatizing an already traumatized human are @Lavrans @GhostWriter @The Black Dog . My ex is @Tryingforfamily .
    January 18, 2019
    January 18, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    Holy shit, I hope this is good.

    Honestly, I talk to two people here. You, and REDACTED. I pop in on the threads every now and again, but most of that is irritating. The only thing really keeping me here is the conversations with you both.
    cakeinacrisis said:
    I once found this forum a way for me to have a safe place to learn & be open about my experience with sex addiction. It has been a saving grace in many of my darkest times, as no one on the outside of this addiction really understands what it's like to be caught in the crosshairs of it. It was a place where I truly felt that by baring my soul & having no filter, I could help others while helping myself.

    Unfortunately, an abused & traumatized spouse of a sex addict can't find safety anywhere.

    I have been letting too many things slide on this forum for far too long. If I let it continue, I will be a hypocrite in my desire to finally give myself a voice & stand up for myself against toxic people. A voice that has been silenced by fear, control, & manipulation for over a decade. Not anymore, for I have absolutely nothing to be scared of & I will not let this go on.

    I am being harassed on here by users (or a user with multiple personalities). It's almost more than harassment at this point; it's borderline stalking. These users were closly tied to my ex when he came on here seeking "help" in July of 2018. I'm not sure if these users are actually 1 person helping my husband psychologically abuse me via passive aggressive stalking, or if this user(s) is just that infatuated with me that they've now started stalking me.

    The weirdness started around Christmas & continues, getting worse with each day I post in my journal. Again, I don't know if this is the workings of my ex or if there's someone infatuated with me on a really scary level, but they win.

    This is what real abuse looks like, guys. I am being forced from the only place I felt I could be open & honest, because there are really really sick people in the world.

    Because I give no fucks anymore at this point, the user(s) absolutely re-traumatizing an already traumatized human are @Lavrans @GhostWriter @The Black Dog . My ex is @Tryingforfamily .

    I'm 100% positive they/them/him? will play victim, & that's fine. Whoever is involved with running someone who has had their entire world flipped upside down off of a place they sought safety, will have to take that up with God. My conscience is clear.

    The Black Dog said:
    I don’t know what your relationship is with Cake, or if you are doing anything to harm her, but if you are I am respectfully asking you to stop.
    The Black Dog said:
    This is beyond fucked up.
    GhostWriter said:
    Please excuse my delayed response as I was trying to absorb and comprehend what you said. In fact, I read it multiple times because I just couldn't believe what the hell you were saying.
    GhostWriter said:
    I am so sorry you got caught up in this. I too was caught off guard. I hope we can find some answers to this craziness. Because at the end of the day, this has to rank right up at the top of all of the craziness I've seen here. Makes no sense whatsoever.
    cakeinacrisis said:
    Leave me the fuck alone.

    I am not going to ask again.
    cakeinacrisis said:
    I have contacted Garland police and the police in the town I live in.
    They have your information and are aware you are stalking me.

     
  19. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

    26
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    PART VI
    January 18, 2019

    January 18, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    The response is as good as I would be able to craft. Personally, I think she crossed a line on this forum by calling people out by name when she doesn’t have any proof of anything. If she had proof, she would need to take it up with administrators of this site, so they couple ban the member. Otherwise, she is conducting a public lynching of four people out of desperation.

    Personally, I think she should be banned.
    January 18, 2019
    January 18, 2019
    January 18, 2019
    January 19, 2019
    January 19, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    Well, apparently she wasn’t quite done scorching the Earth quite yet.

    Now she is referring to us as Lavrans/GhostWriter/The Black Dog. No mention of her husband/ex. Regardless, she thinks we are one in the same. I am reasonably certain this isn’t true. Any idea who this Lavrans fellow is? I haven’t run across the individual before. Is he the doctor who is possibly catfishing her?
    The Black Dog said:
    For a casual reader or follower of hers, someone who isn’t familiar with the three of the accused, I wouldn’t be surprised if they wouldn’t just simply accept her claim that we are the same “addicted piece of shit” she is claiming we are. I am offended and I am not an addict, which is pretty messed up. If I am a guy who has suffered though addiction for years, lost a lot in the process - the least of which is time, I would also be offended by her calling us that name. If I am low and trying to recover, I believe that I would take it that I, too, must be a piece of shit, because of the sweeping generalization she asserted that all addicts are pieces of shit. She is basically calling every PA/PA recovering member a piece of shit through her accusation.
    The Black Dog said:
    I think you would know that I didn’t call her personal #. Since she didn’t even tell me a fake first name and her walls are up to the heavens, she sure as hell didn’t give me her phone number. It is possible that someone who is close to her locale is stalking her and she is jumping to the conclusion that it is someone on this site. What happened, she got a crank call and the person on the other end of the line identified themselves as The Black Dog? Doubtful. This is maybe just a set of coincidences, maybe even eerie coincidences, and that doesn’t bode well with someone who has been as traumatized as this poor woman has been.
    January 19, 2019
    January 19, 2019
    January 19, 2019
    January 19, 2019
    The Black Dog said:
    I think you would know that I didn’t call her personal #. Since she didn’t even tell me a fake first name and her walls are up to the heavens, she sure as hell didn’t give me her phone number. It is possible that someone who is close to her locale is stalking her and she is jumping to the conclusion that it is someone on this site. What happened, she got a crank call and the person on the other end of the line identified themselves as The Black Dog? Doubtful. This is maybe just a set of coincidences, maybe even eerie coincidences, and that doesn’t bode well with someone who has been as traumatized as this poor woman has been.
    The Black Dog said:
    I don’t know how this could be proven, and it has crossed my mind about you and I immediately dismissed it. I think we have corresponded enough, and have done enough mutual good that it isn’t realistically possible that one of us is him. This is like the classic whodunnit? Lol. A Nash Game Theory sort of situation if you know what that is.
    The Black Dog said:
    I reported the post again in a tactful way. The site is a support community. An astute member might pull back to support anyone involved with this addiction out of fear that they might get innocently shamed in the process of providing support. I clearly misunderestimated her. CLEARLY! I thought I could pop in, support her to make her feel better, and treat her with respect, she would welcome it. She welcomed me for a week, then got spooked.
    The Black Dog said:
    The women you have helped would know the good you have done. Certainly REDACTED knows. They’ve been through too much. None of them should vouch for you unless they felt compelled to. Take the women out of it for a second... the guys here, mostly PAs, are probably not fans of yours for your hard-hitting no-nonsense approach with them. Hell, all of these broken men might side with cake out of spite for you as their broken mind doesn’t allow for them think otherwise. The REDACTED foolishness is an example. He “ignored” you publicly as a stunt of sorts.
    The Black Dog said:
    Part of me wants to be done and just leave. Shit, I am not really active anyway, because I don’t want cake to see me active and upset her further.
    The Black Dog said:
    She probably sees that I have gone into hiding and assumes it so I can continue a clandestine attack on her as some other user or personality.'
    The Black Dog said:
    I am here because this is how I communicate with REDACTED and you; although I think you wouldn’t be affected by my exit, but I have been a shoulder for her and potentially it would affect her. She hasn’t responded yet, but I offered to take our pen pal-like relationship to email. I have yours. This can continue without nofap website if desired. But, if I left and disappeared, it could look like cake’s threats have chased off the big bad wolf. Screw that.
    The Black Dog said:
    She wins. I am out. It is upsetting and a total waste of my time. I don’t need this site to help with my need for charity. I will volunteer in a soup kitchen to help the needy. You’re a good guy. Don’t anyone tell you otherwise.

    REDACTED
    REDACTED

     
  20. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

    26
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    PART VII

    Now, I am officially done. I have no intention of engaging in any further discussion or debate. The facts speak for themselves. There is no point in trying to convince someone to understand something whose entire interest hinges on them not understanding it.

    I have NOT, I repeat, NOT, tried to reach out to you in any way, shape, form, or fashion, nor will I.

    Please respect my Boundaries as I respect yours:
    Do NOT Reply to me
    Do NOT Quote me
    Do NOT make any reference to me
    Do NOT mention my UserName

    Respect those boundaries, and you shall never hear from me again. It's that simple. I've got no problem with that. But keep up this charade and tirade of dragging me into your conspiracy, and we'll continue to have a problem.

    As for all of you "witch hunters" out there that have jumped on with this lynch mob mentality bandwagon, I have no words. You're not helping this woman. You're crippling her. (to paraphrase a Denzel Washington quote in "Remember the Titans"). Please stop doing it.

    Last, I had to look up this word, "limerence", as I've never come across it before.

    the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.​

    Yeah! Not a chance! I hope you seek some help. Some genuine help. You're obviously not getting it here.
     
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