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Let's talk jealousy.

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by njfrank, Jun 8, 2017.

  1. njfrank

    njfrank New Fapstronaut
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    Hey y'all.

    I'm new here. I've heard a lot of positive things about NoFap, but never felt I needed it until recently.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years. I've always been the protective boyfriend type, but I've really done my best to keep that in moderation. It's not fair to her for me to constantly question her integrity with other guys and worry when she spends time with other guys. She's never done anything to give me reason not to trust her, so I feel really disgusting for the way I get jealous.

    The other day, we had a major fight about my jealousy. It was getting to be too much for her (again). I realize it's my fault, but I didn't know why it had gotten so bad. Then I started thinking - porn.

    I began watching porn and masturbating when I was 13. I had a cute nanny, and I figured I'd look up some "hot pictures" because it would be "cool." I'm now 20, and for the most part, I've watched porn and/or masturbated pretty much every day. I've had 2 long-term relationships in that time, and both of them only knew the surface of my porn habits - I never told the full story.

    As I thought more about it, I realized I tended to watch certain types of porn - amateur videos, threesomes/sharing, cuckolds, etc. It largely followed a certain theme - couples who weren't exclusively faithful to one another. Now, granted, I've treaded very close to the line of cheating and perhaps crossed it before. Plus, some couples are legitimately into those things. But I realized that the more videos I watched, the more protective and jealous I became with my girlfriend. So I became not only a jealous, overprotective boyfriend, but a hypocrite at the same time.

    I don't want to make this post too long, so I suppose I'll end it here. I feel as though pornography is causing me to lose one of the most important things in my life. I'm not acting as the partner my girlfriend deserves. I truly, deeply love her, and I want to make us work. I'm through with the lying and sneaking around. So I'm turning to you all to help me. Please reach out if you feel you can relate or help in some way. I'd love to hear from you.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    This is twofold.
    The Porn itself is cheating on your Gf.
    And secondly, yes the type you were watching DOES effect how you see real life. It changes your perspective on reality and relationships.
    It's simply unhealthy.
     
    njfrank and hope4healing like this.

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