Lets see what happens...

Hi everyone

I'm going to be honest up front, I have some sort of porn addiction.
I have tried mental acrobatics for a while now to avoid this, but I think it's time to address this issue.

My story is fairly typical. I had my first access to porn around 13 and as i'm sure most of you know it all escalates from there. I am not exactly sure that I am suffering from any side effects to this addiction yet. I am having no issues with self confidence (i'm a chronic smart ass), slightly narcissistic, highly active (I play rugby union for a major club), and I'm generally very happy to be who I am right now.

However, my concerns stem from the fact that I simply often am not attracted to women. I'm happy to talk to them, but in terms of developing any kind of relationship I often can't be bothered. It's as if many people I meet don't matter to me in the slightest. I'm 18, a virgin, don't feel particularly pressured to run into any kind of sexual relations. Yet i still wonder what I'm missing out on. I have never had any kind of a girlfriend, nor have I ever really wanted one. I liken myself to Heath ledger's Joker sometimes, "I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it." I mean sure I guess it would be nice to do what everyone else is doing, but I don't particularly care what everyone else is doing.

So I guess you could call this a bit of an experiment. I have never known anything else, so I am going to see if it's porn that may be contributing to my mindset. Maybe it's a maturity thing... I don't know. Anyway I intend to quit masturbation and pornography and see what happens. If anything i guess it's a choice for my health as I have seen many of the issues that may stem from long term addiction.

Thanks for reading this wall of text, I think i will start some sort of regular correspondence to build up some kind of accountability. Thoughts and comments appreciated.

cheers people!