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Keeping busy was the key for me...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Reborn16, Sep 24, 2018.

  1. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, this makes about 30 days PMO free. I've tried many times before, with the average probably being 2 weeks. Coming from 18 years of porn use, now in my late 20s, that lifestyle has become unsustainable. Something has to change. I'm very grateful I heard about NoFap just over a year ago, which gave me a support network to strive towards a healthier life!

    First of all, I want to say that in trying to get rid of porn, I learned that I had to first attend to my issues to which I used porn to hide from. Once I got my head around that, everything else became a lot easier. In addressing these issues, for example my fitness or social skills, I became closer to a level of fulfilment that made me content with life itself without the artificial highs.

    Every time I slipped up, it was me choosing to avoid the discomfort that comes with the growth of new and challenging experiences. In this last month, I have for the most part faced my challenges. And where I haven't, I reminded myself that it's fine - "to err is human". But to use anything as an excuse to watch porn is now a choice for me. And I have enough information and experience to know it's not the right choice.

    Benefits are real and numerous. But I might add, I have been seeing a few 2-3 week streaks over the last few months, with only 1-2 days relapse between each. Therefore I cannot associate all benefits to the last month, but it's still more than enough reason for me to believe in this lifestyle.

    On a final note, I have found something that may help with any guys like me who are single and experiencing difficulties transitioning from porn - to - no porn or women - to - women.

    While trying to keep busy and find a partner, I tried online dating, speed dating and pick up. All were unfortunately triggering feelings of frustration or rejection in my case. Recently however, I decided to try a dance class, primarily to dance and socialise, as I was avoiding feelings of possible rejection in dating at the time. Unexpectedly, this has had a very positive effect on my re-wiring. From going to zero sexual material online, this activity provided the foundation to rekindle my interest in real women - without the social pressure to flirt or have anything expected!

    I'll leave it at that for now. Please feel free to ask anything. Thanks for reading, and best of luck!
     
  2. Well done mate.
    Sounds like you're turning things around.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  3. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    Keeping busy is another way of saying 'filling the void that abstinence' leaves.
    Well done and continued good luck
     
  4. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys, yes it took a while for it to make sense, but filling the void is exactly right.

    Usually with a relapse, there wasn't enough happening in one day, and then one small thing - a rejection, failure, anything - would get too much attention, leading to an urge to desensitise myself from that feeling.
     
    user10111 and SirErnest like this.
  5. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story and suggestions. Though I'm happily married with children, I can understand how the different dating methods you mentioned could pose a threat to staying sober. Trying new things, as you mentioned the dance class, sometimes yields unexpected results. I'm so glad to hear about your struggles as well. Thank you and congratulations again my friend!
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  6. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the words of encouragement. The dance class was on my to do list for years, but it's only during this challenge that I've actually made the effort to go try it. I guess getting away from porn and having free time makes these things more desirable. Cheers!
     
    GeorgeJetson likes this.
  7. Thulesko

    Thulesko Fapstronaut

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    Thanx for the post,hope you keep fighting bro!
     
    GeorgeJetson, Reborn16 and SirErnest like this.
  8. ikiki093

    ikiki093 Fapstronaut

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    all the best :)
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  9. litew8

    litew8 Fapstronaut

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    congrats buddy i joined your club today, lets celebrate !
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Cheers and nice work!

    Had a super stressful day yesterday, perfect storm to relapse, but put that thought away for one night and now I'm grounded again. Let's keep on going!
     
    selfimprovement8008 and litew8 like this.

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