Just can't stop edging

BINGO! You have it.

 

I know Bran, I have had to reset more times than I know or would even like to guess! In fact, you should still be proud of how far you got on your previous streak. But if we cut corners and lie to ourselves and others, it is meaningless. Don't give up man!!!

 

I really want to affirm what IGY says here - as much for myself as for everyone else. We all "should still be proud of how far (we) got on (our) previous streak." Whatever happens, no one and nothing can take away the number of days we go without pmo.

Looking back at where I was in the depth of this addiction, it's amazing that I can put together five days and then two days and then eight days and then twelve days. Of course I want longer and that's the work I've committed to in recovery. But for a person who was going to p and m multiple times very day, this is appropriate cause to be proud.

This is appropriate cause to remind myself I have something to be proud of here.

Thanks for the reminder IGY

 

Keep posting in the forum if you get the urge. Try to exercise also. The edging (jerking off without Cumming) is a minefield. Be careful, you might fall.

 

Most of us are abstaining from P or M or O. So, edging is still jerking off, ergo a fall. Well, a stumble and a reset anyway.

 

Understanding this has been one of the biggest shifts in my recovery process. For a long time I considered what I called 'non pornographic images' (aka porn substitutes - a term I learned here and so, so, so very much appreciate) to be fair game. Then I wondered with complete bewilderment why I kept tumbling into edging, masturbation, harder images and, on rare occasions, my addictive hell: chatrooms.

The hard, clear line of no porn and no porn substitutes has been difficult indeed. At the same time, however, I feel cleaner and saner than I have in many years - even when I slip and have to reset.

 

Same here @Tryingto , for me the key to starting real recovery was getting to the point of understanding and avoiding ALL of the cheap tricks that my brain puts in place to try and get a quick fix.

Once you avoid EVER eveng getting near the edge of the abyss, let alone taking a peek over into the depths, then the gravitational pull becomes weaker and weaker... things become easier, and real life starts taking the space it deserves in our heads!

 

I don’t get edging to me. It’s like torture. It doesn’t help the process anyway. Leave your dick alone.

 

I know it’s difficult. But try to pick yourself up now without picking IT up. It isn’t healthy. And it’s not going to help you move forward. But you sound like you know that already.

Have a serious think about what exactly you can do to prevent you from edging. Even if you are in a small house etc. There must be some measures you can do differently this time to stop you falling again

 

I'm nodding my head as I read this, since if I hadn't had that one slip-up I'd have hit my 90 days today! But, had to reset so now I've got a couple weeks still ahead of me. Oh well, that's the deal. Some good advice on this thread, some of the strategies mentioned have helped me get this far and are helping tonite even as I deal with major temptations myself.

For me I've realized the key is letting the feelings just flow past as they arise. So it's like you're not so much fighting them as you're just diverting your primary focus elsewhere until they fade into the background. I find challenging mental tasks like crosswords or videogames like puzzles or chess to be helpful. Also any physical activity like jumping on my stationary bike or a even a walk around the block are good. Another thing is I like podcasts, of which there are tons free online, for all kinds of topics from science to history to even ufo's or whatever, it doesn't matter as long as you find it interesting enough to redirect your mind into different thoughts. Keep working at it till you find your own set of techniques that work for you.

 

Absolutely @BranDonewithPorn4ever, keeping all the "artificial" dopamine rush sources under control is of the utmost importance, and it makes a world of difference in the quality of the process.

I have had countless streaks, but realizing that all compulsive internet behaviour needs to stop has been a revelation. Saying it is one thing, acting is really different. I have my social media and internet habits under control, not just porn and substitues, but literally everything I do on the internet.

Compulsively checking social media, random browsing websites related to my interests, even news sites... all of that is a surrogate and a tiny dopamine kick! It's not like one shouldn't be on the internet at all, or cut all social media, but just stop using them to fill a void when bored/uncomfortable.

I'm forcing myself to never reach for my mobile when in a social situation (I've alway hated seeing people isolating themselves in that way anyways...), getting onto Facebook, instagram, and the like only very few times a day and for a very short time, not searching random stuff on the internet or youtube...

It all contributes to clear up my head and make me aware that I'm living a moment that I won't get back, and there's no point wasting time doing basically nothing. I'd rather sleep or stare at the ceiling, it's more productive than cluttering my brain with all sorts of rubbish!

 

This is indeed true and I've been becoming more and more aware of this. It seems PMO is part of a larger issue like you say, most probably dopamine related. Even chatting with certain people can be addictive, especially those I somehow like (sexually). I found that even alerts on NoFap give me a slight rush similar to that of other novelty situations.

You really motivate me to try to lay off gaming, social media and other similar activities. Believe it or not, I don't have e modern mobile phone so at least that helps However, I am almost 'married' to my PC so it's not much consolation. It means if I go out more I would have more freedom, though!

 

If you're edging and you know it, clap your hands.

 

Well at least it gets your hands off your genitals!

Don’t edge mate. It’s one of the worst things you can do. Hope you’re not doing it now, and that was a joke!

 

No, i'm not edging.

 

Good! Just checking
I’ve seen your status lol

 

If you're checking and you know it clap your hands

Both of us are on 3 days nopmo.

 

If you’re checking and you know it and you really want to show it, if you’re checking and you know it clap your hands!

And so we are! Hahaha. Hope it’s going well for you!